Messages By: mzsuzyq2u

Hector sowed cheating by cheating first. (I am not condoning Nicoles behavior - just pointing out what he planted and what he harvested).

Hector sowed cheating by treating her like she cheated before she did.

Hector sowed cheating by tearing her down with his mean words and actions.

Hector sowed cheating by cheating before marriage and after marriage FIRST.

It is a silly thing for a man to think that he can cheat on his wife and thus SOW cheating and NOT REAP CHEATING.

Just because someone does not believe in biblical principles does not mean that they are not real. Just because somebody does not believe in gravity does not change the fact that they will bust open their head if they jump from a 10 story window because gravity does indeed exist.

Many times when a man thinks a woman is going to cheat, especially a macho man, then he cheats first as he does not want to be mad the fool and he is so busy projecting what is in himself onto her. It was revealed that he treated like she cheated when she did not.

You can have the smartest child or pet in the world but if you treat it like it is stupid, it will be stupid. You can have the most alive plant in the world, but if you treat it like it is dead by neglecting to water it and fertilize it, then it will sure enough die.

If both parties do not have a strong relationship with Jesus - not religion but relationship - then once the cheating poisoned one unsaved heart it will poision the victim to become a cheat as well. I have only seen woman chose not to cheat after they have been cheated on when they have a STRONG relationship with Christ.

Why? Because a strong relationhip with Christ means that obeying Jesus (do not commit adultery) is more important than reacting emotionally to what their husband has done to them. Without Christ, it is very easy as a human to ride the emotions and get revenge.

With Christ and a deep relationship where you abide in Christ, he enables people to wait to have sex until marriage, not have an affair if you are cheated on, and to not get involved with someone while you are still married. It is out of respect for 1st Christ and then yourself.

Christ bought us at a great price and he loves us dearly. And if Nicole understood how much Christ loved her, really loved her than this would give her the strength to stop having sex with the lover and to decide what to do with her marriage. Since they commited adultery on each other, they can divorce in God's eyes.

I will be praying for salvation for both Hector and Nicole as well as Shaun and Nancy. I hope that any Christian who read my post will join with me in praying for salvation for all 4 of these people and that the blinders that the prince of the world has put on their eyes will be taken off of them.

If Nicole, Nancy, Shaun, and Hector read this:

To the ladies - go to Joyce Meyer's website and look into buying her book set, dvd, workbook (used at Amazon for just a few bucks) or new on her site called Beauty for Ashes it is all about dealing with abuse and getting true healing and freedom as Joyce has been through a lot at the hands of her father and then her first husband.

To the men - see if Creflo Dollar, Td Jakes, or Jimmy and Karen Evan's resources online are of interest to you.

To all: Joyce Meyer, Jimmy and Karen Evans, and the Copelands offer free monthly magazine if you sign up on their website that address relationship stuff as well as all kinds of other areas.

One biblical promise is that you will lose all your wealth if you spend your time with harlots (or are a harlot) so even if you are not a believer, this spiritual law will apply. Men usually care about success and wealth so the bible promises that if you believe and obey and search after wisdom (lots can be found in Proverbs) than you have long life, wealth, riches, and abundance (since Jesus died to give us abundance and freedom).

We will reap what we sow. It is a very simple spiritual law. If you plant apples, you get apples. If you plant infidelity in a relationship, then you get infidelity back. In the case of Hector, he planted it, he got it back.

Of course, nasty things like infidelity happen to people who are faithful and this is not their fault. We live in a fallen world and will face trials and tribulations that will test our maturity and emotions.

So with that said:

If you cheat, don't be surprised or act like a hypocrite if your spouse does it back especially if they are not saved or a really strong Christian. It is not easy to stay faithful for a lifetime to someone who cheated on your first.

If you have been an innocent victim of infidelity, then it was a nasy thing [from Satan allowed into your life to tempt you to harbor hate and unforgiveness because that puts you in a bondage. The devil uses people closest to us to hurt us - a Judas experience. Even Jesus, has a Judas (betrayer) and a Peter (denied him 3 times) among his closest discipiles.

Get strong with Jesus so that you are not reduced to the lower level of retaliation and seek resources that will not only address symptoms and habits but that will address the spiritual aspect of you as well. I knew a pyschologist and professor who said that no modern psychology that he had as his disposal could change a character defect. Only a true relationship with Jesus can change that permanently.

God bless all who read this.

Dr. Phil,

Before I met my husband I dated a man for 4 years, during that relationship we became involved in a Swingers Club.  At one point we became board members and were nominated and voted in as the presidents of the club.  We held office for one year, were active board members for a total of 3 years. 

I came out of that experience very changed.  I thought that if we did this type of behavior that it would keep my partner from cheating and bring excitement into our relationship.  If handled honestly and respectfully it would "better" or make stronger our commitment to each other.  Boy, was I misguided...! 

The lifestyle sales pitch is what I started calling my initial thoughts.  That is how we recruited new members into this club.  After all the club is a private business.  It NEEDS to be profitable somehow to exist.  The club that I belonged to is one of the oldest clubs in the country.  It started in 1969 and is still in operation under a charter.  I found the history to be very interesting.  Most of my happy memories were with the old-timers and not having sex, but listening to their stories and urban legends at the annually camp-out held every summer.

Swingers are cheaters.  I found more unhealthy relationships and more unhappy couples than I could ever imagine.  This "ULTRA" open environment was false.  There were many couples that were doing this under the same pressured that your guest communicated.  It was sad.  Swingers get jealous and fight openly often.  It was not s good place to stay for any amount of time.  I am glad that I learned this lesson before I met my husband.  I would not take that jump with my husband ever under any circumstances. 

There is a place for "wild" behavior and experimentation.....  that is college and single life.  Marriage is a working relationship, built on trust and commitment.  I do not believe lifestyle couples that tell you "it works for them".  As a very active member of the Lifestyle for several years....  I can't tell you one couple that I admired their relationship.  I left that group of friends feeling very sorry and disappointed in all of them. 

Great show..  You tried to show both the good and the bad.  It is difficult to find good in that environment.  Good is a tentative place in the lifestyle.

Cheers,

Jeenias

What an absolute utter and total waste of airtime.

I have just watched the show with Dr. Moody for the second time at 0500 from work. My jaw still hit the ground. Never in my life have I seen such bad behavior from a professional educatedman. My father was a doctor, my brother in law is a dentist. They have never acted like that nor would they ever. Dr. Moody got exactly what he deserved and I would have like to have seen more. I am sure his children and wife put up with the same behavior at home. His dental practice will suffer so I hope he feels it was worth it. Dr. Phil, I loved how you put him in his place with such a kind and gentle tone to your voice. I am sure we all knew what you were really thinking. You are the greatest!!

Beth

the funny thing is most of the people who sag their pants probably have a higher IQ then you. just because YOU think they are stupid or the look is stupid, doesnt make it true.

BEDTIMEBEAR i totally agree with everything you have to say about this topic because i feel the same way. im almost 21 and all i wear is low rise jeans for the simple fact they are comfy. so if they ban baggy pants then they would have to ban everything else, and i think its ridiculous. and frankly if they want to ban something i am  comfy wearing then they can kiss my butt because when they start paying for and providing my clothes is when they can start telling me what i can and can not wear!! :-)