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Messages By: ykz_pilot

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September 2, 2005, 10:41 am PDT

Don't compromise.

I was a single man for 44 years.  I thought I would never find the perfect woman ... but I did ... I am so thankful that I did not let the many years of waiting and yearning cause me to compromise and 'settle'.  

   

I had many opportunities with various women, but I thought that special woman was not to be found.  Most of the women I dated claimed that they wanted a decent moral man, but within a few months were asking for sex!  Ironically, these were women who attended church.  I was shocked when they would show up with a box of condoms.    

   

God really used my waiting as a growth period, and allowed my wife and I to share what was meant to be a bonding between husband and wife.  Sex is a great gift to marriage.  It is not recreation, and does not require 'protection' unless abused.  

   

It is no wonder so many marriages fail.  People cheapen themselves for a thrill, and rob their future spouse of the greatest gift they can give them.      

   

As great as sex is, it is not the most intimate part of marriage.  Prayer is.  What an awesome way to share your heart with your spouse.    

   

Although much of the advice on this show is excellent, it is too bad it is so lacking a moral center.   Wordly advice is not wisdom.   

  

  

   

  

   

   

   

   

 
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September 2, 2005, 11:50 am PDT

Husband's Role

Quote From: nanna513

I MOVED FROM MY HOME TOWN TO MARRY WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.  HE MADE ME FEEL SO LOVED AND NEEDED.  I GAVE UP MY JOB AND MOVED AWAY FROM MY  3 KIDS (WHO ARE ALL GROWN NOW), FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO MARRY HIM.  MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ONLY 14 MONTHS AND ARE ON THE VERGE OF GETTING A DIVORCE.  HE IS A HEAVY DRINKER AND ALSO VERBILY ABUSIVE. HE HAS 2 KIDS BY A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE THAT LIVE WITH US.  WE DON'T COMMUNICATE AT ALL, AND HE DOESN'T TALK TO THE KIDS EITHER (ONLY WHEN HE IS UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING THAT THEY DID WRONG).  I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING I KNOW AND I FEEL LIKE I AM FIGHTING A LOOSING BATTLE.  WHEN I DISCIPLINE THE KIDS HE GETS ANGRY WITH ME AND ACTS LIKE WHAT EVER THEY DID OR DIDN'T DO IS MY FAULT.  SO I STOPPED AND THAT UPSETS HIM TOO.  I DON'T FEEL LIKE HE LOVES ME AT ALL AND HALF OF THE TIME HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE HE CAN'T STAND MY SIGHT.  I RECENTLY LOST 30 POUNDS AND HE NEVER ENCOURAGED ME NOT ONCE AND ONLY MENTIONED THAT HE EVEN NOTICED WHEN HIS BROTHER PAID ME A COMPLIMENT.  BUT NOW I HAVE RECENTLY GAINED ABOUT 6 POUNDS BACK BECAUSE OF A FOOT INJURY AND HE DIDN'T HESITATE TO MENTION THAT I WAS GETTING FAT AGAIN.  HE NEVER HAS A KIND WORD  TO SAY TO ME AT ALL AND I USE TO TELL HIM ALL THE TIME HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM AND NOT ONLY THAT I ALSO TRY TO TALK POSITIVE TO OUR KIDS BECAUSE HE ONLY YELLS AT THEM AND TELLS THEM WHAT THEY DO WRONG SO I TRY TO PRAISE THEM AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT IS GOOD ABOUT THEM.  I HAVE GIVEN ALL OF ME TO HIM AND HIS KIDS AND I DON'T GET ANYTHING IN RETURN.  I FEEL SO UNWANTED AND UNNEEDED AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN LIVE LIKE THIS.  I HAVE 3 GRAND CHILDREN THAT I DON'T GET TO SEE AND I AM MISSING OUT ON THEIR MOST PRECIOUS YEARS WHILE I AM SITTING HERE BEING ABUSED BY HIM.  I THREATENED TO LEAVE ABOUT 3 MONTHS AGO AND HE BEGGED ME TO STAY-- AND HE DID DO BETTER FOR A LITTLE WHILE, BUT NOW IT'S BACK TO THE SAME OLD THING, DRINKING AND IGNORING EVERYTHING ELSE.   SOMETIMES WE GO DAYS WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING TO EACH OTHER AND THAT BOTHERS ME ALOT BECAUSE I AM A VERY AFFECTIONATE PERSON.  I HAVE TO BEG HIM TO TOUCH ME OR SHOW ANY AFFECTION AT ALL, I TRY TO HUG HIM AND HE EITHER MOVES AWAY OR ACTS LIKE I AM BOTHERING HIM.  I DON'T WANT TO START ALL OVER AGAIN, I GAVE UP EVERYTHING I HAD AND NOT ONLY THAT I DON'T WANT TO WALK OUT ON OUR KIDS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THEY NEED ME AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEIR MOTHER DID.  IT HAS TAKEN ME A LONG TIME TO EARN THEIR LOVE AND RESPECT AND I HATE TO DISAPPOINT THEM AND LEAVE.  SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME, I STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSION AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  I AM TRYING TO  STAY POSITIVE, BUT IT IS HARD WHEN ALL YOU HEAR IS NEGATIVE TALK AND ABUSE ALL DAY. IN HIS EYES I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT AND IT IS TAKING A TOLL ON ME.

Before you married him, did he demonstrate the role of the spiritual head of the family? 

  

Do you pray together?   

  

Do either of you pray with your children, or teach them the importance of prayer, or how to pray? 

  

Are you teaching your children about the importance of their souls and their eternal life?  

  

Life here is but a short time ... eternity lasts forever.  Make it a priority!   

  

Keep the main thing the main thing! 

 
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September 2, 2005, 11:59 am PDT

Money

Quote From: lucky35

Hi, me and my husband are recently married 1 1/2 year and our marriage has already been tested. I just want to know if what we are going through is normal for married couples?  We love each other deeply, but our finances are not that great.  I just left/lost a $43000.00/year job and my husband starts at Starbuck's on Monday as a barista.  Neither me or my husband have held a job longer than a year, but we are both educated.  I am highly educated. I get so mad and frusterated because I got married not only because I loved my husband, but because I wanted help financially.  Since the marriage it has been probably a 60/40 or even 70/30 split on expenses with me carrying the greater load.  How can I not let financial worries affect our marriage? I am 7 years older than my husband and I know it will be a long time before he gets his act together, but being the impatient person that I am, the wait is killing me!  HELP!

It sounds like money is a huge issue for you.  

   

If you love each other, it will be in poor times as well as good times.  If what you have changes with your bank account, that is not love.  

   

Do you pray together?  Is your husband the spiritual head of your marriage?    

   

How much do you tithe?  Regardless fo how much you have, are you giving with your money or do you keep it all?    

   

   

   

   

 
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October 15, 2005, 8:16 pm PDT

Read the truth, not what makes you feel better

Quote From: moondragon

Recently I have become a Chrstian and now attend church regularly.  I have struggled to understand what God wants for me, and how this pertains to my orientation.  There was a book written by E.T. Sundby, "Calling the Rainbow Nation Home" which has really helped me understand my love of God even though I am gay.  So much of the bible has been misinterpreted over the years due to inaccurate trasnlation into other languages.  I think people need to understand that it is honestly not a choice. I did not choose to be gay.  Why would I want to be the black sheep of the family?   

It's too bad you don't put more emphasis on what God says on the subject, instead of homosexual propoganda.  If you reject the Bible, and what Jesus taught, then fine.  Do what you will, but to claim to be a Christian and reject the teachings of Jesus because you want to continue to live a life of sin is hypocrisy. 

  

Jesus spoke often on the family.  Always in the context of a man and a woman.  Always enforced this monogamy for life.  He spoke often about the perversions of sex (outside of marriage) and the God ordained marriage not the farce done in the name of He who called homosexuality a perversion.   

  

Throughout scripture New Testament and the Original Testament ... homosexuality is condemned and since God is the same yesterday today, and forever - it always will be to those who are Godly people. 

  

Many people live perverted sexual lives.  Premarital sex is just as evil as homosexual sex or beasiality or pedophelia.  They are equally harmful and outside of God's plan for His children.  Of course you don't hear single people claiming people who disagree with their choices are "forniphobic".  The reason people made up the meaningless term homophobic is because they don't want people to disagree with them.  It is sheer politics.  Claiming a lie does not make truth. 

  

Look at the many people who have conquered the sexual addiction of homosexuality.  Look at Dack Rambo, the actor.  He was saved, and after experiencing a relationship with Jesus, he repented of his homosexual choices (his words), started "Dack Rambo Ministries" in an effort to help people out of the bondage of homosexuality.  He died of AIDS, but he is now in Glory.  Not because he was a good person, but because he was born from above, and he repented of his sin.  He is a true role model for people caught in the homosexual bondage.  Also, look to other organizations that free people, and are run by ex-homosexuals.  Look to "Love Won Out" and Exodus International.   

  

God loves all men, and all women.  Those who claim to love Him but reject His teaching are, as scripture said, liars.  He doesn't ask you to be perfect.  He asks you to "go and sin no more".  And most importantly ... scrpture is clear that if you CONDONE sin, that you are guilty of it yourself.  So all those people who say that a woman has the right to choose to kill her baby, they are guilty of killing that baby themselves.  There are no sidelines to stand on.   

  

Those who think you can be a "non-practicing" homosexual are misled.  Your temptations do NOT define who you are.  If that were the case then almost every man on the planet would have to call himself a non-practicing adulterer or non-practicing fornicator, or non-practicing rapist.  Nonsense. 

  

God calls His children to Holiness.  Not pervertedness.  

  

   

 

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