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Messages By: redfeathers

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March 3, 2008, 3:25 pm PST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: kwilson55

 Shaking hands Transmits STD's?   Try washing your hands.   If this were true, you have done nothing but to convince me that there is no reason to wait.  After all, if I am exposing myself to sexually transmitted disease by shaking hands, I am exposing myself continuously.  Those same hands are touching everything I touch.  I believe in education.  Abstinance is fine, but with proper education.  Most of all we need to be realistic and help protect those who choose not to abstain.   By the way I am an RN and do not agree with your version of STD transmission.

What? Shaking hands? Wow, I agree, that's silly. Shaking hands does not transmit STD's. If that were so, then they wouldn't be called "Sexually Transmitted" diseases....

 

Yeah, this only strengthens my belief that schools should not only teach sex education, but debunk sexual myths like this.

 
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March 3, 2008, 3:35 pm PST

Help for a friend in danger

My friend is about to get married, but the problem is, she's morbidly obese and gaining. We only found one dress big enough to fit her (luckily she liked it), but she's gaining so fast we're afraid that not only the dress will eventually not fit, but she'll die, the sad thing is, she's only 23.

 

She wieghs more than 300 pounds now, and we are dreading the day that her heart, or some other organ, gives out. To give an idea of how fast she's gaining, two weeks ago she went to a show with my mother and niece, and she was able to sit in the back seat with the seatbelt on by sucking in a little, two days ago she couldn't get the seat belt over her, it only went to her belly button, and it was the same seat she sat in the two weeks before.

 

She was very embarrassed about that, naturally, and she finally realized how seriously she needed to lose wieght.

We want to get her out more so she can get excercise, and I have offered to help with that. I need to know excercises that will be safe for her organs and heart, but effective to help her get in shape.

 
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March 3, 2008, 3:55 pm PST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

It's wrong to keep people ignorant of their own bodies.  Sex ed is a must, but also keep that ongoing talk and expand on it as they grow.  Teens are going to have sex, it's pretty much a rule.  I'd like to think that knowledge is protection.  Doesn't the pastor want kids to be protected?  HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis, and Syphilis are 10x more horrible than premarital sex.   It's preventable if they have the info- and there is a myriad of it now- and info is control, control is empowerment. 

 

I don't think the stigmatization of virginity is fair, either.  You can focus sexual energy into immense productivity, which can help achieve your goals.   But it should be a personal, private, informed choice, not something you swear to in public.  It can be a beautiful, spiritual thing if it's kept a personal matter, IMO.  Don't share your sex status with a fundamentalist, NEVER a good idea....

I agree on that one. Trying to keep someone away from something like sex is only going to spark curiosity. Going to make someone want it more. Talking about it with a fundamentalist (I've discovered personally) only leads to a big religious discussion loaded with opinions and no facts. The belief that you'll go to Hell for pre-marital sex is a matter of personal opinion that cannot be solidly proven, no matter what book you read it from. Teens don't need to be fed religious dogmas, they need to be given the facts that can be and have been solidly proven.
 
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March 4, 2008, 8:00 pm PST

Help fora friend

I posted this in another topic in this section, but I figured I would post it here too to see if I could get a wider spectrum of people who might be able to help.

 

A friend of mine is getting married soon, however, she is more than 300 pounds and gaining very fast. We could only find one dress for her that went up to her size (luckily she liked it), but we are beginning to worry about whether or not she will fit into that later because she's gaining so quickly. About two weeks ago she went to a show with my mother and niece, and she was able to sit in the back seat with the seat buckled by sucking in a little. About three days ago, she sat in the very same seat, but this time she could not get the seat buckled, and it only went to her belly button. We are very worried about her health, her heart, and her other organs and are dreading the day that one of these finally gives out. The sad thing is...she's only 23. The wedding is in less than a month and a half.

 

The seat belt incident embarrassed her alot, understandably, and she realized how badly she needs to lose weight and that her health is in danger. I volunteered to help her get out and excercise more, so I want to know some good excercises that she can do which would be safe for her organs but still effective to help her get in shape.

 
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March 4, 2008, 8:06 pm PST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: profmaryann

Amazing, isn't it, that some would prefer that their/our young be kept ignorant, or worse, "know" INCORRECT information.

 

The young are GOING to get the info from SOMEWHERE. In a perfect world, parents could/would discuss the subject openly, providing accurate, factual information, AND instill their own values, whatever they may be, in the course of that discussion.

 

We don't live in a perfect world.

 

At the very least, school-based sex ed can/should provide a basic overview of reproductive biology. Ideally, it would also provide a forum for high-schoolers to talk about it and have the myths about sex exxposed -- Hmmm, maybe a "Mythbusters: Sex Edition"!

 

Prof

I agree! (by the way, Mythbusters: Sex Edition, XD haha! That's great!)

 

What I thought was the most rediculous thing about the show was the abstinence only teacher was just spewing a lot of complete bunk! I didn't hear a single true fact come out of his mouth. Only scare-tactics and his own opinions and beliefs. I sure do hope that there are some people smart enough to not believe what he was saying. STD's through handshaking? I was beginning to think that he was just coming up with whatever he could to scare people into not having sex.

 

I also noticed that he quit talking after a while. Maybe because no one was agreeing with him and he was getting countered by Dr. Phil or the Bishop or the girl at every turn.

 

I totally agree that teens don't need ignorance and they don't need to learn by just picking it up from anywhere. Teens need a reliable source of factual, accurate information so they at least can have the incentive to make a good choice.

 
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March 4, 2008, 9:25 pm PST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

Quote From: nicobry

You're right it's not a "Bible" show...If you are a "Christian" like Dr. Phil claims to be, the Bible is the basis of your daily life...It's not a pick and choose type of thing.  You're either a Christian or your not. Your beliefs are in accorance with the Bible or you shouldn't call yourself a Christian.

I still believe that religion should be left out of the discussion because not everyone believes in the same god.

The pituitary gland, testicles, ovaries, penis, and vagina will work the same no matter what religion you are.

 
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March 10, 2008, 3:40 pm PDT

Living Together

Quote From: debi14636

Hi Sorry to say age does matter in the long run. I am 46 and my  manfriend ( to old to be boy) is 68. I've know him for 11 years and he was exciting and fun.  we started really dating 2 years ago. We moved in together a year ago. now life is boring, he decided that this was the time to retire and do nothing. Most of my weekends consist of watching t.v. and watching him sleep. I do everything around the house inside and out by myself. He says he can't do things anymore and that I am still young so I can. I love him and find myself waiting on him hand and foot. But in the mean time getting lonely and depressed. There are times I want to leave but, think how will he get along. give it alot of thought before committing yourself to this kind of relationship.
Well, if you are getting lonley and depressed, and are doing all the work around the house both inside and out, you don't really have much a relationship, you're just taking care of him. Honestly, I agree that age does matter. When you think about leaving, yet wonder how he'll get along, think about this, he got along without you before you met right? He can go back to doing what he did before then. You are much younger than he is, and you shouldn't be living the life of someone who is 22 years older than you. You should be living the life of someone your age.
 
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March 10, 2008, 3:54 pm PDT

Help for a friend

I posted this on two other threads here, but I want to post it here too so maybe I can get a wider spectrum of help.

 

My friend is getting married soon, but she is more than 300 pounds now and gaining fast. We've only been able to find one dress for her that went up to her size, luckily she liked it, but we're more concerned about her health than her dress. A few weeks ago, she went to a show with my mom and was able to sit in the back seat and buckle the seat belt by sucking in a little. Last week she sat in the same seat, but this time she couldn't buckle it, it only went to her belly button.

 

The wedding is in less than a month and a half, and we're trying to get her into better health because we're worried about her organs or heart giving out.

 

I'd like to know if anyone knows good ways for her to excercise that are safe for her organs, but still effective?

 
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March 13, 2008, 6:16 pm PDT

Ways to Exercise in the House

Quote From: mustbecrazy

I think that your friend needs to get a complete medical evaluation.  She needs to go to the doctor and tell him/her about her concerns with the weight gain.  You're right...obesity is hard on the body...heart, organs, and she is at higher risk for breast cancer, and problems with cholesterol and blood pressure, along with higher risk of type 2 diabetes.

 

Healthy eating habits and exercise would be helpful, but only after the complete medical evaluation.  If she pushes herself too hard, she could have a heart attack or something.

 

In routine blood tests, done because of my own alarming weight gain (28 pounds in 14 months...now at 179 pounds), it was discovered that my thyroid was out of whack...my doctor referred me to the endocrinologist, who diagnosed thyroid nodules, that were causing my thyroid to over-produce.  While most people lose weight in this situation, some people do gain weight...like me.

 

There are many medical issues that can cause weight gain...low thyroid is the biggest culprit.  Type 2 diabetes, and also "insulin resistance" are other common causes of weight gain.

 

Encourage your friend to go to the doctor right away...I'm sure that her future husband wants their life-long relationship to be a long and healthy one.  Your friend has some serious issues, and it is really important that she be completely open and honest with the doctor...she should definitely disclose eating habits, and the fact that she is still gaining at an alarming rate!!

 

I hope this is helpful...Becky 

Well, the thing is, she already has been to the doctor several times. I should have mentioned that she also has some mental disorders and her mind is more at the level of an 8-year-old's. Some of the pills she takes for her schizophrenia cause her to gain weight, but that's not the only factor, as far as we know, she doesn't have any medical conditions that cause weight gain. Sorry, I should have mentioned that...

 

We've decided to just start taking her walking to begin with, because we don't want to over exert her, becue you are right, she could have a heart attack.

 

What we do know is that her fiancee` is part of the problem. He goes places with her and takes her out and buys her ice cream and things like that. He also has mental conditions so it's hard for him to understand what he's doing isn't helping.

 
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March 17, 2008, 8:44 pm PDT

Ways to Exercise in the House

Quote From: marcia52

I know that kids tend to just ignore adults that are with them .... however, when you can find an adult that they're listen to, they'll do what that person says.  Strange ... but so true.

 

My niece kept cutting her hair cause she had a cowlick and her hair would stick up.  Her hair was baby fine .... so I took her to the beauty shop and asked the Dolly Parton look alike to talk to her about it.  And she did.  I paid to have her hair trimmed and for the talk.  Money well spent!  She never cut her hair again!!

 

Is there someone they're listen to?  My thought is maybe you can get the person to talk about exercise and being their for each other.  Learning to care for one another in a healthy manner.  Maybe see someone who works with obese children would do the trick.  Treating both of them as adults wouldn't work .. you have to work at the level of their understanding. 

She likes to hang out with me, and usually I can get her to get out of the house with the prospect of going somewhere with me. I got her to get some walking done by taking her to the mall with me to find shoes for her wedding, and I gave her a mango when we got back to my house, so I guess she listens to me. She's discovered that she likes mangoes and dried apples, so her mom is going to start bringing those into the house so she will have access to healthier foods.

 

I can tell she very despirately wants to be just normal. I think my sister and I can give her that kind of feeling by taking her places and hanging out like normal women.

 

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