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Messages By: aprilynn

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February 13, 2008, 12:19 pm PST

Behind closed doors

This story hits home because it happened to my children when we lived in Maine.  The children now are grown and live in Pennsylvania and I reside in Kansas.  It was my former father in law that was responsible for the abuse.  When I learned of it, he was arrested, we went to court and he received five years in prison.  Not nearly enough punishment for the pain he caused.  The children are doing well for the most part. I think that all three of us will carry something around with us for ever just because we endured such an ordeal. I hope this woman has a suppor system.  My own parents disowned me because they felt it was totally my fault and that I should have known and should have done something to prevent it... knowing what to prevent is key.  I saw no signs until it was too late of course and by that time I had a tip off from another person which lead to the arrest, etc.
 
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April 13, 2008, 8:15 am PDT

Liars

This one hits home with a vengence.   My boi mom is a liar.  She lies to make herself look good, like she does no wrong.  She will tell you " I can't stand a liar", if we were still on speaking terms I would have to ask her..."so, are you telling me you can't stand yourself because you are a liar". I have caught her in so many lies.  Lies have no purpose only to hurt another person.  My oldest daughter has this same malady, Dr Phil is this herititary? (just kidding but seriously I have wondered about it.
 
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April 13, 2008, 8:22 am PDT

House of Greed

Hi Dr. Phil, I believe that wills are a private matter and what is left to another is the business of the giver and the receiver.  However I can see where a family member would find out that nothing had been left to them and that the one receiving all the "good stuff" in the will would be put on the spot by the others who were not recipients.  I don't know if greed can be neutralized and amicable agreements reached because the one being left out are always going to feel hurt, betrayed, ticked off.. you name it, it will probably happen especially where there is money or things of great value involved.  I watch your show everyday and I hope that you and Dr Fields can solve this somehow.
 
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April 13, 2008, 8:30 am PDT

House of Greed

Quote From: abigaildgd

My mother and father  are alive and life has not been good between my mother and I since birth.  I am 60 now and decided last summer to get therapy.  After 6 months of therapy, my mother did something horrible to me and the therapist advised me to get the toxic woman out of my life.  I faced mother with the problem and have since been  written out of her will.  I don't care about the money!  She has been told this.  I just wanted to get along with the woman who gave me birth.  I am also not allowed to see my father.  He is 87 and will die soon so the theft of my father is much worse than the the loss of money that I did not work for!  I can get along very well without the money and am getting along without any parents also.

I have 4 children of my own and they all know I love them as much as life itself and I don't miss a chance to tell them so.  My heart would break if I ever thought my children did not know what a precious gift from God they are to me.  I am just sad that I never had the chance to feel the same way. 

I have 2 brothers.  One is not talking to mother and says he is out of the will.  The other, God only knows how he tolerates her and the things she has done to him and his family but he does.  He will be 'in the will' as we have all been from time to time but good luck to him!

 

Abigail

 

Abigail I can relate to your situation.  I don't have a relationship with either of my parents.  They are in theirmid-80's and I am in my mid-50s.  I had been told by several relatives that I was not wanted, that my folks didn't want children.  I am the only child.  I am ok with it and with being left out of the will. I don't want anything after death that they could not give me in life.  An honest relationship would have been plenty in life but that didn't happen.  Like you my children and grandchildren know how much they mean to me and I would be heartbroken if they ever doubted my love for them.

Aprilynn

 
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April 13, 2008, 8:48 am PDT

love of money

Quote From: abigaildgd

My mother and father  are alive and life has not been good between my mother and I since birth.  I am 60 now and decided last summer to get therapy.  After 6 months of therapy, my mother did something horrible to me and the therapist advised me to get the toxic woman out of my life.  I faced mother with the problem and have since been  written out of her will.  I don't care about the money!  She has been told this.  I just wanted to get along with the woman who gave me birth.  I am also not allowed to see my father.  He is 87 and will die soon so the theft of my father is much worse than the the loss of money that I did not work for!  I can get along very well without the money and am getting along without any parents also.

I have 4 children of my own and they all know I love them as much as life itself and I don't miss a chance to tell them so.  My heart would break if I ever thought my children did not know what a precious gift from God they are to me.  I am just sad that I never had the chance to feel the same way. 

I have 2 brothers.  One is not talking to mother and says he is out of the will.  The other, God only knows how he tolerates her and the things she has done to him and his family but he does.  He will be 'in the will' as we have all been from time to time but good luck to him!

 

Abigail

 

Hi Abigail, I can relate to your situation.  I also have no relationship with my parents. They are in their mid-80's and I in my mid-50's.  The relationship is irreparable that is the shame of it all.  I am ok with being left out of the will.  I don't want anything after death that they could not give to me in life. That is just how I am.  My bio mom is a toxic woman also and I read the book "Toxic Parents" which helped me tremendously.  I recommend it.

Aprilynn

 
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April 14, 2008, 4:14 pm PDT

House of Greed

After watching todays show it appears that Sonja, Lisa and Sara have more going on between them then they let us see today.  I hope they can come to an amicale agreement and somehow keep the respect and love of her grand children.  Lisa is looking to solve the land and fence issue and that seems to be playing a big role in this dispute.  Resolve that issue and perhaps the rest will fall into place.  I doubt it though just by observing Sonja's actions and verbalizations.
 
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September 27, 2008, 3:19 pm PDT

Parents who brainwash

My step son was brainwashed by is biological mother against his father who is my husband.  This mother hurt my husband more than words can ever express.  When I met Mike (husband) he and his son had a close relationship.  I did not interfere with that.  I built a relationship of my own with my step son and sincerely thought that it was a good one.  I treated him better than I did my own.  But that is not the point, the bio mom made it impossible for Mike and his son to have a conversation let alone a relationship.  I am happy to say that today father and son communicate regularly.  To twist things a bit here, my parents brainwashed my daughter against me. it is a very long story and painful story one that is too long to post here.  Brainwashing is not a good thing for anyone.  It is a lose -lose situation.

Aprilynn in Kansas

 

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