Quote From: laurel0307Having seen the commercial for todays show, I had to make sure I was tuned in when it came on.
I am sitting here now in amazement, for this could be me sitting up there.
The only difference is that it was my real military father who molested me fromo the time I was a tottler and my mother to this day still calls herself the victim.
For over twenty years my mother did not write/call/or have any contact with me, then five years ago she went into a diabetic comma, and almost didn't make it. She wrote me of course to tell me and since has written, called. She still says she didn't know, but she did because she too "saw" him molesting me, not once but many times. She would even get so angry at me when I was a teenager, and she would yell at me at tell me, "I am the woman of the house". You are nothing.
Lately my mother has told me on the phone that she never wanted a stinking girl. (me) and then she laughs and says but she made do with me. Out of all my siblings, who my mother kept in touch with all these years, I am the one who pays for her phone minutes, her post office box, and send her money regularly. My brothers and sisters don't even send a card so her mail box has mail in it. I am the only one who sends mail at least twice a week so her box isn't empty. She has never said I am sorry. Her excuse is that she had no money, didn't know how to drive and she had four other children besides me to think about. Anyway, I can't believe that things like this happen and people live in this denial when their childrens lives are concerned.
I feel so bad for Heidi.
I still need to work on myself and call myself a work in progress.
It is so hard to forgive, but it is the only way to go on.
Laurel
...when I saw the preview I also had to see the show but I must admit that I missed bits to go to another room to breathe and calm down . The 'how dare she' came back again and again in my mind . I linked Heidi's story with mine and couldn't beleive how like minded they (the moms) were in their denial . I wanted to wake my mom from the dead for the show . I am surprised by the amount of anger that has been stirred up in me . Like yourself, I was my mother's contact with the family for a very long time and to this day don't know how I ever got the courage to break contact with her when it became overwhelming . We spoke near the end but it was never really dealt with . It wasn't until Dr. Phil spoke up for Heidi that I felt heard . I told my mom of the original abuse when it happened . When it happened again they said I would be blamed . I didn't feel that I owned my own body until I was out of that house . She still clung to her belief that if she had told my dad , he would have killed the ones responsible and then she would be alone with three small kids while he was in jail and that was her story . She saw every aspect of how it would affect her and never how it ripped me apart to see these guys every day . I wanted to cheer when Dr. Phil stood up for Heidi but I also didn't want to miss a word of it ....still a work in progress as well ..........g
