Quote From: sandy0914You don't mention if you two have ever been to therapy or not but if you haven't I sugget that you go for a few reasons. You both owe it to your kids to try everything and anything to fix this marriage. I think it is important before you file for divorce that you and the kids know that at least you tried and you can tell them with a good conscience and no self doubt down the line that you left no stones unturned before making that final decision. Another reason is because "you think" you want a divorce. You need to be 100% certain that this is what you want. And lastly you are still uncertain on whether or not he still loves you which means that your communication lines are non existant and I'm wondering if you knew in your heart that he did love you, would you be willing to give this another chance after counseling.
You're ridden with guilt and uncertainty and I think you need to work on these emotions before calling it quits for good. It's important that you walk out that door with no anger, guilt, unanswered questions, confusion so hat you do not second guess yourself years down the road.
You don't say what he wants in all of this? Is he willing to work on this marriage?
It may seem as though you are entirely miserable now. After you leave however, it gets worse. I divorced my husband of 15 years and have two great kids! He cheated on me and I lived with it for 6 of those years. He cheated again and that was it for me. It never worked for us, but I know that after we seperated, the loneliness and thoughts of where do I go from here didn't subside, even now. Once that security is broken, it seems to not come back, at least for me. I am much happier in my life, but my kids have suffered tremendously as he is now remarried and I am also in another relationship. The kids seem to do fine for periods and then rebel! Another problem is that since you do have kids, you will never be free from him. He'll be in your life weather you like it or not.
Perhaps it may be best to find some spark in your relationship. Try surprising him with things you've never done before like kissing the mirror with lipstick to say I'm sorry or I love you. Dress up together at Halloween and go to a party. You need to rekindle it somehow. You may feel that he no longer loves you, but I don't think that it is a reality really. In fact I believe that you are still in love with him, you just can't see it. You've just grown apart because you've been together so long. Unless he is cheating on you or being abusive, I would suggest trying to fix it. And yes, counseling or a support group at your local church is not a bad idea. Good luck to you. I hope you can save your marriage.
