Messages By: getrealtime

Quote From: momakababe

Good question but you know if her husband isn't willing or ready to leave her he could just be making life worse for him by reeming her a new one. 

Quote From: joleighva

Hello! What century is this?? Why is this still all about the girls?? I don't see anyone up on that stage yelling about how their son isn't a virgin! What a crock of ****! And we women wonder why we are still second class citizens...

 

Personally, I find the idea that a woman should 'save herself' for her husband (who has likely not done the same) ridiculous. It harkens women back to the days when we were literally owned my our husbands, and were of less VALUE if we were not 'pure'. Frankly, it makes me want to vomit. I will not be teaching my daughter that her virginity is some kind of badge of honor and she should be ashamed if she no longer qualifies to wear it. I will teach her that her first time is VERY special and something she will always remember and therefore something that should be done with the right person, who loves and respects you, and ONLY when YOU truly want to, not when you feel pressured.

 

Personally, I am grateful for the sexual experiences I had prior to my marriage, at the young age of 23. Because of them, I know that I have an attentive husband, and there is definately nothing I'm missing out there.

 

I was very lucky.  I had TWO parents who taught me to value myself, my body and my future life more than my impulses to have sex.  They NEVER said I should save myself for marriage. That is a RELIGIOUS BELIEF and not a school curriculum.  They told me that if I had sex, even if I used contraception, I could still end up pregnant or with an STD, and I should make damn sure I felt mature enough to handle the consequences when I decided to have it. I watched my friends fret and worry about whether or not their period was late, and I decided I didn't want to put myself through that.  After dating my high school boyfriend for over a year, one week prior to graduation, we decided it was time. We went to a drug store, and got condoms AND spermacide, because we knew if we were going to do adult things, we needed to be adult about it. Fortunately, we had been given the information we needed to make informed decisions and protect ourselves properly.

 

I did not regret my decision then, now or when I will talk to my child about it.

 

I however, had parents who were educated enough, cared enough and were open enough to guide me down this difficult path.  Most children nowdays do not. If they happen to have caring parents, they may not be open-minded enough or educated enough to help their children.

 

Unfortunately, the kids who are at the highest risk or the kids who don't have parents who give a damn...or worse yet, who go out or their way to abuse them. Who do these kids have to teach them? The school. Do they have the money to drive to the drug store or grocery and the money to purchase condoms...no. For some of these kids, the only person who can help them from becoming a statistic is the school nurse who can give them a condom.

 

I think that even if my religious values were different, I would rather have a talk with MY child about how our values differ and why, then prevent the kids who need help from getting it because I want don't my child to get any ideas I don't agree with.

 

I think that the whole idea that your child will not have sex because YOU don't want them to is OBTUSE.  If you give kids the information they need to make the decision, they are LESS likely to have sex, not more.

Quote From: seesmostshows

never  posted to a board before...or to any program about one of its shows...but..here it goes

 

how come all talk seemed focused on teen girls...were teen boys even mentioned except when clip of highschooler discussing topic...how bout gay teen boys....one of the groups rising in hiv cases cause they think that hiv is so back in the 80s...nope...nothing about them either....why do the girls always get the speech about saving self and self respect....were teen boys of any sexual orientation mentioned...nope...i mean the man wears the condom after all i think he should be mentioned when discussing them.....but nope....just girls.....also....how can you say teens incapable of making rational, consequence aware decisions and then think they can control self from having sex by signing or making some abstienence pledge....dr phil was right on when he said if he knew they were going to have sex no matter what anyone said or try to get them to see...he would give them the box of condoms....also...i think we forget in this day of wonderful medical intervention...humans didnt live very long for most of our existence on this planet....they had babies young....that biological sexual urge still there in boys and girls...but nope...lets just tell girls they will be called sluts or whores...that should end any premarital sex...right?  oh and the fire comment from the abstinence teacher...most children learn fire is hot by accidentally burning self testing there surroundings..such as hot stove...dont know what hot means till touch...very young child...so if want to use fire analogy..then most teens will learn about sex by having it....so sex ed...condoms...all contraception...should be taught and freely given out if asked for...and sorry parents..may not be one..but remember being teen with one...secrecy was my middle name in my teen years...and it was for most of my peers too

Quote From: montague1

I was 14 when I had my first child...in the school and parents that were sharecroppers.  I had no idea was it really meant to be pregnant..all I knew was I loved my boyfriend and this was a way to be closer to him.  I did not plan it, I just did not know enough to keep from getting pregnant.  As for school my mother made me get up every morning once I got home and get on the bus and go.  There was no maternity leave or any talk of me not going back to school.  I was  a student from 6:30 until 3:00 and a mother from from 3:00 until the next morning.  I got up and did all the night feedings and anything else that was needed until time for me to go back to school.  I kept up on my school work and graduated third in my class.  Having a child does not mean you can not graduate from high school.  I disagree with the maternity leave because kids need to know what being pregnant that young really means...you have many hats to wear and most of the time you are alone doing them.  Provide them with the information but also let them know all the responsibilities that come with making a choice to have sex that early.  I am now 50 years old and have stated many times I was glad to have my girls early in life but I would not recommend it to anyone else.  So I believe we should think long and hard when we make it easy for teens that become pregnant. 

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

If you only give them the "no sex" option and no education, they are going to learn it from someone.  Would parents rather have their kids learn it from each other?  Worse, learn how it's "evil" from some fundamentalist that probably barely knows what it is to begin with?   It's important to have a continuous all-inclusive, open discussion regardless of whether they choose to have sex or not.

 

Teen girls need to know how to take care of themselves with yearly gynecological visits, to catch Cervical, Ovarian, or other anomalies (cancer) early, as well as obtaining antibiotics/antivirals for STDs, condom use, signs of breast CA, etc.  It's a health issue more than anything else, and teaching teens to be responsible IS responsible parenting.

 

I don't think one should invite a pastor in to control your kid's sex education.  They should get the facts from the parents or the school or even a perspective on it, but I think it's a private thing.   Trying to get facts from a biased source isn't a great idea....

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

 

Schools are a heck of a lot less biased than some "fire and brimstone" pastor telling them flat out lies about it.  That's why it takes MORE THAN ONE source, and i've reiterated it.  Parents needs to set aside their discomfort and talk to them and keep them healthy.  I believe that abstinence SHOULD be taught, but NOT abstinece ONLY....that's dangerous, and I know better! 

 

Do I think teens SHOULD have sex?  No, not personally.  BUT I know enough to realize that my ideal,and what many teens are doing are two different things.  I would want to promote all teens to be happy, healthy and responsible

Quote From: _marie_

I DON'T WANT ANYONE BUT ME TO TEACH MY DAUGHTER ABOUT SEX, I AND ONLY I HAVE HER BEST INTEREST.

 

That's easy.  Then don't consent to allowing her to participate in that part of PE or Health Ed or Bio or whatever subject they will get their Sex Ed in.. 

 

But for everyone else that would like their children to learn the PHYSIOLOGY of their own bodies...schools SHOULD teach sex ed.

 

Marie

Quote From: rainpainrain

Do you really believe that your daughter is going to only learn about sex from YOU? HA! That's a riot!

A far superior way to deal with the world is to let your child get knowledge from many sources, and then TALK TO HER about it.

The fact is, the world is FULL of opinions, ideas, lessons and you should teach your daughter how to DEAL with that, NOT how to avoid it.

All you are doing is mystifying sex. Bad idea.

Quote From: _marie_

To all the Bible thumpers out there...

 

I talk to some of your counterparts daughters.  I hold them, I listen to them weep.  They do hold on to their virginity for as long as they possibly can.  And then they leave your homes and go to college.  They are ILL PREPARED for the freedom and sexual feelings that have been surpressed under your roof!

 

I give them the phone # to Mental Health after they have their abortions because they are too afraid, to ashamed to come to you BEFORE they have sex...and certainly AFTER.

 

THIS is a FACT.

 

Marie