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Messages By: getrealtime

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March 7, 2008, 9:46 am PST

YOU LIVE BY THEM

Quote From: gmom07

Dr. Phil, I think you did the public a disservice today.  Most people believe all sex offenders are predators.  There are sexually oriented offenders, sex offenders Tier One,Two and Three, three being the most dangerous. Some consentual relationships with teenagers over 14 and adults are drug or alcohol related, no force or violence involved. Not all offenders are sociopaths.  Look at the ones who are taking advantage of their time in prison to turn their lives around, to understand what led them to it, such as they themselves having been the victim of child abuse or molestation and who plan to try to make a difference in others' lives when they are released. Some are peope who have wives and children waiting for them. How are they to go on.  I believe your show today fed the witch hunt which is currenly going on.  I believe it fed the ambitions of politicians who want to appear "tough on crime" and who are in a position to make sentencing laws.  I think that our current judicial system is currupt and our prison system is failing the public.  I believe you know better.

child molester, can not be cured, they don't turn their lifes a round, and stop wanting to have sex with a child, they are and always will be sexually attracted to children,

If they where victems of molestation when they where young, makes no difference to me, they are the predator now and should be treated as one.

 

you go hold to the hand of a predator, and as you hold that hand think of what it has done, the pain it has caused and continues to cause in the victems it touched

 
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March 7, 2008, 10:04 am PST

ignorance

Quote From: freesia83

How many times have teenage girls dated/had sex with someone only a few years older than them? A 16-year old and a 20-year old. The sex is consentual. The girl's parents get angry, have said male thrown in jail, attend counseling, and is labeled a sex offender. When the girl turns 18, BINGO! They still see each other.

I have a very difficult time comparing these sorts of cases to those of people who prey on children or break and enter to assault women. VERY different.

Also, GIRLS LIE! BOYS LIE! It happened so much when I was in high school. Girls were the worst offenders, if I had a nickel for every time I heard about some girl brag about how she slept with a 25 year old and told him she was 19 (some are very believable with the right makeup and clothing) I could pay both my undergraduate and graduate school tuition.

Idiots that tell lies about their ages need to be punished as well.

Ignorance of the law is no excuse, if you are 20 and having sex with a 14-18 you are breaking the law.

and there is a thing called personal responability, if a 25 year old is going to go and have sex without knowing someone ,he is taking a risk, not just with age of the person but stds getting someone pregant.

 

people lie, so be smart, protect yourself, ignorance no excuse.

 
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March 7, 2008, 10:16 am PST

what if

Quote From: mapamadams

I watched your show today and my heart broke for the familys who have been touched by sexual abuse. The hatred for the offenders is what bothered me. What if you have an accused offender who is not guilty but to make the situation better for the family and all involved took a plea bargan because he could be guarranteed he would see his small children before they were grown outside of prison? What if he did not have the money to get experts to help clear him. What if he was so scared of the system which had treated him so badly and unfairly he thought a plea would be better for everyone? Where does this good person live when he gets out? What if he has been a productive part of society, a father, a son, a brother and a friend to many? How does he function for the rest of his life as a sex offender? Help me understand how this great country of America can be so unfair and so willing to condem!!!!!!!
You can what if something to death. if we what if anyone charge with a crime there would be no one in prison, if a man takes the plea, he knew what he was in for,  heres one for you what if he did it and he took the plea because he would serve less time, and after he gets out he rapes someone you love, and what if everyone felt like you do, there was no sex offenders reg. and if there was one it could of saved the person you loved a life time of tears.            your what ifs........................
 
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March 7, 2008, 10:31 am PST

03/07 Dr. Phil Now: Sex Offenders Next Door

Quote From: mandiez_panda

Most of you act like you are perfect. That you have never did anything wrong in your entire life. Have you ever took something that was not yours? even if it was from a sister or brother and you was just a child? Had a bad thought about someone? Been in a fight? Many more stuff that you may or may not got caught doing are wrong and just cause you got away with it does not make it less wrong. You have no right to judge people until you have all the facts. Not just one side of the story but both. Just cause someone is a registered sex offender does not mean they actually did the crime. It just means that the court found quilt of it and for the rest of thier life they are going to be labeled as one. In some states you do not have to rap or sexually hurt someone againist thier will to be labeled as one, but you have to live with being called one. Did you know that in some states you can simply just flash someone or run down the street with no cloths on or close to it and be labeled as one. Plus did you know that if your 18, and your boyfriend or girlfriend is 17 or younger, and the right people find out about it, that you can be label as a registered sex offender with or without the underage person or thier parent pressing charges. All this cause you and the person you love want to express how you both feel for each other. You did nothing wrong but you will be labeled for it for the rest of your life. Yes I know there are some people who are correctly labeled as one. But the ones being released have paid thier time. It is on thier record for all to see. They have to live with the mistake they made for the rest of thier life. I know some are not remorseful about what they did. But some are and it is not right to group them with the ones that are not. A lot want to change and are working on being just normal and are truefully remorseful. But how are they going to do this if your not giving them a chance and if your constantly judging them. I think your just as bad as what you think they are!! They can only change if you give them a chance. That is what the government is doing. So get your facts about someone before you judge them. Also some people who are not labeled registered sex offender are worse than the people who are one. Just cause they have not been caught or were given a less of a charge does not make them better than the ones that are. But you only do not want to live near the ones that are. Get you facts then judge them. You never know what you will find out. Plus what if you was wrongly convicted of something that you did not do. Would you want someone judging you before they got to know you or befoe they atleast find out both sides of the story? Most likely you would not but you are doing that to them. Think about it.

you must be a kid, you think like one, so here is some good advice, don't break the law and you will not have to reg. as a sex offender. if you are 18 and you want to date someone younger, you are taking a chance with your  freedom, don't do the crime and you won't have do the time.

 

ignorance of the law is not a defence,  you will be prosecuted same as the person who knew they where breaking the law.

 

its not fair won't get you no where either. so protect yourself and know who you are sleeping with

 
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March 7, 2008, 1:52 pm PST

she is 14

Quote From: trlemay

I am the mother of a sex offender...I'll explain, my son at the age of 19 ( by one month) met a girl on MySpace whom he thought was 21.  She had posted 21, she looked 18, I think. They got together after chatting online several times.  He has always liked girls a few years older than him...he asked questions such as "where's your car"  she replied, "it's in the shop", he made other comments and asked other things, she had a reply that would validate her age of 21.  They were together consensually twice.  This girl has been dating a 23 year old and others, my son just happened to be the one to admit to knowing her and being with her, he didn't think anything of it when questioned by the authorities.  This girl was actually 14, her father is an investigator the the local sheriff's dept.  My son is sitting in jail with a whole bunch of young guys in this same situation, he is also sitting in jail with a man that sexually abused his own 4 year old daughter, older men who have forced themselves on young girls within the same age of the girl that my son was with.  I ask why do we place ALL of these people in the same bucket and label them the same?  My thoughts are that the sex offenders have different classifications for the degree of the offense.  Do you agree?  I thought the same as all of you who have expressed your thoughts and feelings as to where they should live and how "they" should be treated by society.  I thought those thoughts until I walked in the shoes of the mother of a sex offender.  I can't express the hurt that I feel, not for me, but for my son and the other kids that do have the scarlet letter forever stamped on their forehead.  Where does my son live when he gets out, where does he work, is banning sex offenders from neighborhoods discrimination, is it fair?  This "girl" that I speak of is still advertising herself on MySpace, with the same age of 21 posted, with the same picture that makes her look pretty close to the age she has posted.  Her life didn't stop, her life didn't change, she's not locked up for entrapment or lying or changing my son's life forever.  What's fair about that 

sorry, your son broke the law, she lied isn't a defence, most jurys will and do follow the instruction given to them.your son was 19,  5 years older then the girl.  Your son by law was the adult she the child.

at 18 a child becomes a adult,  they can sign contracts,  move out and live on their own ,join the army and die for are country, 

 

The girl is 14, fourteen year old girls do not act like 21 year old women, there had to be a million signs, your adult 19 year old son choose to ignore, took a chance and lost,

 

Your son should be to poster boy, for which others to learn from, know what your getting in to, check drivers license, don't beleive very thingyou see on a my space page, most are lie space pages.

 
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March 7, 2008, 2:06 pm PST

03/07 Dr. Phil Now: Sex Offenders Next Door

Quote From: parole22

I am very disturbed with the way in which your show has dealt with the issue of registered sex offenders!!! You fail to discuss are portraying "sex offenders" as all predators and pedophiles. If your 19 year old son has consensual sex with a 17 year old but a parent has him charged, he may be a registered "sex offender".  If a boy grabs a female by the buttocks, he may become a "registered sex offender". Thus there is a HUGE  problem with looking up sexual offenders and what they are convicted of is that you do NOT have the facts. You are also encouraging vigilantism....do you not recall the young man from Nova Scotia who traveled to the states and killed several registered "sex offenders"????? The reason that this concerns me, I work in a prison, with a Sexual Offender Assessment Team, with all types of offenders, murders, etc. The fact is for every known sexual offender there is in your community.........there are half as many that have never been caught. Use universal precautions, that is everyone is a potential offender.
teach your son the law, an to keep his hands to himself, and he won't have to worry about it.
 
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March 7, 2008, 2:09 pm PST

03/07 Dr. Phil Now: Sex Offenders Next Door

Quote From: sslipp

 I am slightly upset  my husband is a RSO  because of of a veryminor offense, which because of todays "whatever" has been blown out proportion, and he deserves the right to come home to live without all the hype this show is giving  not all RSO are child molestors, rapist and so on  you need to check WHAT  the offense is before you get all worked up    As for what to do with the rapists and child molestors  put THEM on Alcatraz not every RSO
he did something to have to reg.  I guess he shouldn't of done it, 
 
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March 7, 2008, 2:38 pm PST

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY

Quote From: freesia83

Okay, so you say personal responsibility. The lying party also is at fault. Why should they not have to take responsibility for their own irresponsible actions? Kids who lie know exactly what they are doing, especially at that age. Parents can bury their heads in the sand all they want but it happens.

Prosecution is a MUST for stupid kids that lie about their ages. It takes 2 to tango and the blame should be shared.



Its not against the law to lie, so what do we get them on. lying to a adult to force them to have sex. lol

personal responsibility, taking care of ones self, knowing what your jumping into before you jump

spread the word, don't let your little head think for your big head, he'll get you in trouble very time

 

so grow up

 
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March 7, 2008, 3:06 pm PST

stay out of OHIO

To all sexoffenders, theres a new law in OH.  You just don't have only to reg. as a sex offender, but now Ohio will hand you a brand new tag for yourcar in a bright new color, and i beleive if you live with any one they get one too,

 

see we what to treat you just like we treat people who drink and drive, they have green tags

 

now we can spot you going down the road, at parks, inparking lot, where you live.school streets, i will report you every time i see you , where you are not to be.

 

THANK YOU OHIO, for thinking of the kids first!!!!!!!

 
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March 7, 2008, 3:49 pm PST

03/07 Dr. Phil Now: Sex Offenders Next Door

Quote From: tina3940

My son is a immature 21 year old that has been trying to have a normal relationship with girls 18 and over. He is a sweet kid and I call him kid because that is what he is like, a kid. Well, this past week we have been going through a tough time as he was with a girl that claimed she was 18 and looked that age. Come to find out she was 15. My son didn't know her very long to find out the truth about her.  We are finding out that this girl has accused others of the same thing she has accused my son of. I assure you my son is not dangerous and could possible have to register as a sex offender.  I think before someone jumps to a conclusion that all people that are registered sex offenders are dangerous criminals, maybe you should actually find out what their story is and possibly they were also accused of something they actually didn't do. I am all for keeping the creeps and perverts away from our children but there are some out there that just got a bad rap. What about these young girls that get mad because the guy figured out their story or just decided the relationship wasn't working. They can make up anything and ruin a young mans life.  As this girl has done to my son.

time for your son to grow up, your story is the same as the mother of the 19 year old,

I knew the age would grow,  where does it end, next there will be a mother of a 25 year old, no wait i think there is one posting out there, saying how their poor boys where trick by these lying girls, it not their falt, it never ends its not their falt, their the adult blaming the child for lying,

 

your boy is 21 she 15 he should go to jail for a very long time, your son is the creep an pervert who likes younger girls,

at what age do you think a man should be before its just creepy, is it ok for a 40 to have sex with a 15 because his mommy thinks hes young for his age,an knows no better PLEASE

 

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