Messages By: hulagirl1

I didn't think this was at all a two-way fight between the mother and daugher, as it seemed to be called on the show. From what was shown at least, it seemed to me that Rita was clearly the one in the wrong and Lisa was at her wit's end from the constant assaults on her family, finances, and peace of mind from her nut-job mother. Also, Rita was allowed to do way more than her share of the talking on the show. I thought Rita was an unfit parent herself, as well as a liar, trouble-maker,  narcissicist, and possibly even a child molester. She has her own self-centered agenda, and it's not anything to do with concern for Koal. She seems obsessed with stealing people's affection from her daughter, from stealing her boyfriend in high school (yuck!), to claiming her daughter's first husband wanted to rape her, and now trying to steal her daughter's son too. Combine this with the talk about her own son sleeping in her bed at 15, and her talking about Koal (almost 14) sleeping in her bed with her and her husband. This is not normal maternal behavior, this is not a woman who a child should be left with. I would have liked to see a lie detector test (I found Lisa to be very believable) and also to hear more about why Rita's own children no longer lived with her when they were teenagers. In general, I would have like it if Lisa had been allowed to speak more, but Rita controlled that too. I kept waiting for "borderline personality disorder" to be brought up, but instead Rita was presented as no better or worse in this than Lisa, as if they were bothering eachother equally, but it sounded like all Lisa has done is try to get away from Rita's attacks.  Instead of being awarded "grandparent's rights", I think Rita should be locked up for continually harrassing this woman and her family. Lisa needs to be left alone to run her life and family as she sees fit, and Rita needs to be stopped.

That's exactly what went through my mind too, "borderline personality disorder". I kept waiting for somebody on the show to state the obvious, that Rita is nuts and needs to be stopped from tormenting this poor family, but instead it was presented as if the mother and daughter were equally at fault.  I was very surprised and disappointed. Lisa, I would definitely check out the resources listed above. Who knows,  maybe you'll find a more effective way of putting a stop to the old bag, since there didn't seem to be anything useful on the show. That woman is a nightmare!!

If the family can't forgive, accept, and start anew, they will lose him for good. He'll go where he's not despised. The exes seemed suspiciously pleased at their daughters' anger, and the 21 year old adult daughter was eagerly feeding the 13 year old's anger and intolerance. How does any of this help the child? She needs to be helped to accept the unchangeable so that she has all the loving parents in her life who are available to her. Love is still love, however unusual or unconventional. He's not the only one who's putting his own needs first. 

If any of us were truly what would be considered a monster or a circus freak, we would probably all choose to become something else. But maybe after a couple of decades of living a sham (and society's attitude becoming somewhat more tolerant) we would find ourselves admitting the truth, maybe even for the first time to ourselves. Everyone around us would be devastated. But the damage would be done. The damage is done and irreversible. The only question now is do they want him as a woman or not at all? If it was a loving person I had in my world, I would take him as a woman rather than lose him completely. When society accepts that these people can't help the way they feel, maybe they'll be able to face it themselves from the start and innocent spouses and children won't  have to suffer through it.

They used to tell people like this who could no longer suppress what they felt was their true nature, to disappear without a trace to all who knew them, get a sex change operation and begin a new life somewhere else. Is this what the family would prefer?

Shani, some sneaky guy you've only known for 3 months, totally free of the daily grind you have with a real relationship, is not your soul mate, the love of your life, ad nauseum- it's a mere infatuation, this is someone you don't even really know except for what you've invented in your head to fill in all the numerous blanks that come with someone new- you're old enough to know the difference. Also, with all your whining about how your husband didn't pay enough attention to you, I bet you didn't bother yourself to treat HIM anything like the lengths you go to to impress your sh&$head boyfriend- it takes two to neglect a relationship. I think you're a spoiled crybaby. The spouses, children, and friends are the ones who were done wrong, not you, much as you'd like to believe otherwise. If it wouldn't be even harder on them (which it would, unfortunately) both abused spouses should drop all 5 kids on you two lovebirds, see how you two wonderful, selfish specimens hold up with a dose of real life infused into your selfish little fantasy bubble. Would it last a week? Now that would be a show!

In a way, I say go for it if if makes you cougars and cubs happy.  I wouldn't like it myself though. First of all, I would feel like a pervert going for my kids' peer group. Second, I don't see a whole lot in common if it was anything longer term. . Mostly, oh my god I couldn't survive the humiliation of being looked over naked by a youngster. Especially if I had to pay him!

I suspect this too. Bryce even said he thought Esther would come back to him if he had custody of the baby. Also, all the parents are way too involved too, especially Esther's father, who apparently thought he had the authority to command an abortion as revenge if Bryce made him mad. Uh? At least Bryce's mother is offering to help raise the child. Esther's father wants to run everything but isn't offering to do anything.

Everything else aside, Bryce was who Esther chose as the father, and therefore he is the father, even if he isn't ideal father material. Nobody else has to prove they're worthy before they get to raise their own kid. Also they lied about his involvement- on the one hand they say he showed no interest, on the other they said he was constantly calling Esther, it can't be both. What a mess.

Unfortunately, mentally ill, addicted, and mean people have children just like everybody else. Trust me, you are not alone in feeling bad on Mother's Day. Many, many, many of us have had bad parents and have an ongoing battle with our self-worth because of it. We can't choose our first family but fortunately we can choose a loving, second family, whether they're related by blood or marriage or not. Whatever I didn't get then, I make sure I get it now. Good luck.