Messages By: PennyLane78

Quote From: derevna33

 

    Life is tough enough without adding adult decisions before you are one.  If virginity is a choice, it should be a private choice.  Swearing in public to remain a virgin until marriage . . . is tactless and distasteful. 

     You are right.  Fundamentalists do not take this kind of information, well.   They tend to forget that Christ himself said, "Go, and sin no more."  And worse, some of them forget the passage "judge not, least ye be judged."

      My mother dragged my sister into the guidance office with the girls in my class.  She knew that I had ceased to be a virgin when I was 17.  My mother proclaimed this before my classmates.  She also proclaimed that my younger sister was not the "same kind of girl" that I was.  My sister was a sweet, pure little virgin.  She would never do anything wrong.

      And, my mother went on and on and on and on and on.  It was her Christian duty.

 

     

Quote From: flthomcat

You can also teach your child enough about sex and love your child enough so that she respects herself enough NOT to want sex. Our children know ALL about sex, but also of the consequences.

 

My teen wants college. She wants a career. She knows what boys wants. She likes boys. But she's been told what they're about. She also knows her mother got HPV from being stupid by having sex before marriage. She knows about sex and the difference between love & committment (marriage) and a young, immature relationship that ends after high school. She knows that everyone wants immediate gradification, but mature people can wait. She knows that anyone who TRULY loves her will respect her enough to wait for her.

 

Will she wait until marriage? Who knows. Only she does. She's gorgeous. She's an Honors student. She's an athelete. She's an independent and kind young woman. She's also blessed to believe in God and have a family who follows His teachings. And most importantly, she's blessed with a strong family and a great dad who's told her to accept no crap from guys. But we surely don't push the idea of HERE'S PROTECTION on her. We don't make it acceptable. She knows it's out there. She also knows the STUPID kids are having sex young!

 

Children are NOT little adults. They need to know about sex and that includes ALL the bad stuff, which is 99% of teenage sex. They are not emotionally nor physically ready for sex as teens. Look at the stats on being used. On lonliness. On disease. On pregnancy. On abortion. On suicide. On how it feel physcially for the female (often not good).

 

Too many people leave GOD out of the picture. It's sad that people call themselves CHRISTIAN but forget all about God's teachings on sex. How convenient for us. Apparently HE knew what he was talking about because if we followed His teachings we wouldn't have disease, abortion, suicide, lonliness, unwanted pregnancy,etc!

Quote From: norris5

I have a daughter who is now 19 and in college.  I was very honest and blunt in talking about love, abstinence, sex, birth control. STDs, reputation, and other pertinent facts.  While I am aware that I cannot "make" her abstinent, she needed all the information so she could make her decision when the time came.  I made it very clear that having sex has medical and emotional consequences that can impact the rest of her life. 

When a friend of hers became pregnant and had a baby, I was sympathetic.  I used that situation to point out that having a baby isn't the end of the world, but it finishes your childhood and makes it much more difficult to finish school and pursue higher education.  It made her life a lot harder.  There are consequences to your choices.

I don't think this is the responsibility of the school or church.  I love and care about my child more than anyone else.  I know more than the school or church about what is best for her.  For a teen, it isn't just enough to tell them that abstinence is best for them, you must go into all the details and consequence of why it is best.  I don't think it is scaring them; it's just giving them the facts so they can make informed decisions. 

I know that talking about this with your child can be difficult, but lots of things are difficult. 

Did you keep your mouth shut when your child was young and got in the street?  Did you ride a bike without a helmet?  Did you let them put their hands on a hot stove or in a fireplace?  Of course you alerted them to dangers they couldn't see!!!   Having sex as a teen or younger can be dangerous for them.  They expose themselves to uncurable STDs, pregnancy and great emotional distress!!.  If they are not informed, they don't see these dangers.   

Quote From: standup1

I am in my 20s and I feel it is sad that people are having sex as early as they are.  I remember back in college I sat at a table with 10 of my friends and I was the ONLY virgin.  What is wrong with that picture?  There seems to be no morals left in our society.  I am a responsible intelligent person and even as such there is no way I would have been able to raise a kid at 13 or deal with the fact that I was going to have to live with AIDS at that age.  With this in mind and b/c I knew it was wrong I never had sex at that age.  It is up to the parents to put morals into their kids!  These kids on the show are soooo clueless.  Schools should never give out birth control to kids under 18 because they are telling them it is ok to do something it is not.  Schools don't let kids cheat on tests b/c it is wrong and therefore they should not say it is ok to have sex either.  Divorce rates are so high already!  KIDS having sex is not helping.  Come on people, lets take back our society.  You wouldn't let your kids cheat in school b/c they are jeopardizing their future therefore don't let them have sex b/c obviously that is going to jeopardize their future even more.  If your kid comes to you and says they are having sex, don't give them birth control...give them a punishment for doing wrong.

Quote From: cookie74

 Although I think sex ed is important (with parental permission), I don't believe that condoms should be given out in schools.  I believe schools are there to educate, not to hand out condoms to my child.  Our children have enough pressure from the media with all the pornographic images they see, they don't need schools promoting sex. This is where parents need to step up to the plate and open up communication between themselves and their children.  Although we, as parents, may tell our chiuldren that abstinence is a better choice, I believe children will go uot there and sometimes cave in to peer pressure.  I think this is where parents need to discuss safe sex. Where are these parents whose children are 13 and pregnant? We have a responsibility to know where our children are and what they are doing.  As they get older and earn a little more freedom, it does get harder, but we still need to keep tabs on our kids and know where they are and what they're doing. Keep sex out of schools and let's teach our kids to be morally upstanding people.

Quote From: montescm

Sex education needs to start at home with the parents.  It's time for the parents to take responsibilty for their children.  Parents need to be proactive in their kids lifes.  I think schools should require kids to take a sex ed class.  I do not see a problem with handing out birth control either.  Sex ed in schools....that is for the kids with deadbeat parents by the way.    I do not agree with kids getting maturnity leave. Its like telling your child its ok that you got pregnant, a slap on the wrist.  If you don't have time to talk to your kids.......make time.           

Quote From: applppie

  Children should not be encouraged to have sex,period!  Having condoms and contraceptives available to teens because it gives them the allowance to have sex and think it's ok to have sex just because they have condoms! Just wait! You will not die because you are not having sex. America today has lowered its standards and everyday it lowers exponentialy. Soon there would be no standards to go by and that is not good at all.

     It's sad to watch a 14 year old saying that she became sexually active at 13. Just because she's using condoms doesnt make it alright at all!  Even though she is mature,she shouldnt be having sex. I'm dissapointed with her mother. She is only 13 and disgusting. Yes,13 year olds in my country r married and it's their custom. But they are married,not single.

    I dint have sex until I was 21. And that was a year ago... I wasnt taught sex ed. in secondary school and that didnt make me ignorant about sex. I know what sex is  and what sex is for... Not one day did I decide to have sex because I knew the consequences...Abstinence people!!

   

 

   

Quote From: yougtbk

  He was not her boyfriend and that was not an affair.  Her unckle would be a childmolester not a boy friend and it would be rape not an affair. . .

Quote From: mommifor2

I just watched the debate show about teens and sex. I agree with all sides of everyone to a point. I had sex for the first time when I was 14 and then ended up pregnant when I was 16 (that I had given up for adoption). My parent's never talked to me about sex and I didn't feel comfy enough to talk to them about it. Now I am a single mom of 2 girls ages 9 and 7. My 9 yr old just asked me 2 weeks ago how a baby gets there? They know where a baby comes from and how a baby is born, but not how a baby gets there. I had to explain it to her as best as I could based on the age she is. I really don't want my girls to have sex before marriage, but if they are going to I would rather them know about birth control and I would put them on it. We can't lock our kids in a room until their married, but what we can do is make them know about sex. I know that for parent's it's a touchy subject, but we have to put our pride aside for our kids to be able to talk to us about it. I will tell my kids that it's best to wait, but I also can't stop them if they decided to have sex. Being a parent isn't easy, but neither is being a teen. If I could do it over and still have the kids that I have I would have waited, but I can't change the past so I will talk and be open with my kids even how uncomfy it may be. Ok that's my venting.

Quote From: joidevive

 By all means, sex education should be taught to every young person: but at home, not in school.  Parents can provide the support and example that their young people will need to follow through on standards expected at home.

Sex education was offered at my high school, by parental consent.  I chose not to participate.  I was already being taught at home and at my place of worship; not only about the logistics of sex, but personal responsibility to myself and the person with whom I chose to be intimate with.  Sex is an adult activity.  Its consequences are long ranging and will affect how a person deals with the opposite sex and views him/her self for the rest of their lives.  I would not trust this subject to the school, any more than I would expect them to teach my child how to live by moral principles in a world that changes its values with the season.

The mother of the fourteen year old, who felt she was smart and responsible enough to engage in sex, is living in a dream.  When her daughter comes home pregnant, carrying an STD, or emotionally scarred by some immature partner, she will have to share in the blame for what is to come. 

Didn't she watch the issues with the first Dr. Phil family ?  All the angst with the older daughter getting pregnant and deciding to keep the baby, and deciding to limit the father's involvement with the baby, and wanting to get back to sexual activity again, should have given her a clue that is is not a learn-as-you-go activity.