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Messages By: augustmoon61

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April 28, 2008, 7:49 am PDT

Thank you tinhil2000

Quote From: tinhil2000

This dad must have agonized all these years about his sexual orientation, especially as an ex cop where machismo and tough- guy image is everything, so I sympathize with him about the difficultly  he is facing with his daughters' inability to accept his new sexual identity. However expecting them to call him/her mom is definitely premature; he needs to give them time to absorb and understand the complexity of this issue and to continue to reassure them that his love for them is still and always the same. He should also understand that what their daughters feel, beside the embarrassment, confusion and anger, is the loss of the only father they have ever known. I'm sure Dr Phil will offer this family the kind of help they all need to be a family again.

I believe that you can see both sides of the coin.  I have responded to you only because I have decided to respond from the positive people instead of the silly and one sided comments that I see on the message boards.  I know Michael personally and found him to be extremely selfish and self centered.  He may have had issues in the past but as always he never thinks things through.  He acts and reacts by the seat of his pants and uses his emotions to guide him.  I do not know him as Kayla but what I am seeing, he still has the same attributes.  Female, Male, what is the difference??  He continues to manipulate the people around him.  He tries to get everyone to see the world through his eyes and make them understand his way of thinking.

 

The girls have had a roller coaster ride relationship with him all along.  They are not able to express their feelings to him because of the emotions that they are feeling right now.  Michael has not sought any counseling because he states all therapists are quacks.  The girls are going through the 12 steps of grief.  They are at the acceptance stage and need more time and lots of therapy.   I would hope that people on the message boards would give insight to their own experiences (if any) and be encouraging to them due to the fact that they are so young and impressionable.

 
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April 28, 2008, 6:50 pm PDT

mima, be angry at dad

Quote From: mimaof2brats1

come on girls grow up let your father go on with his life with or without you its his choice

and dad how can you do this to your daughters ???? you were a police officer for crying out loud dont you have any self respect for yourself??? have you always been like this ???? why wait this long ?? why didnt you do this along time ago before you got married or had children why make them suffer

i think you took the cowards way out  shame on you

mima,

How can anyone expect these two girls to react to this man in any other way than shock.  He showed up at the oldest one's work in drag and called the youngest one on her 12th birthday and told her during that phone call.  I believe that the girls are tired of dealing with his drama.  The show isn't able to show all of the drama that these two girls have gone through.  This latest drama is the most outlandish. 

 

I wish everyone didn't expect a 21 year old and a 13 year old to act better than the dad.  They are trying so hard to deal with it.  Isn't it obvious that the dad doesn't care what they think anyway??  How much emotion do you see from the dad versus the emotion that you see from the daughters.  Think about that.

 
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April 28, 2008, 7:06 pm PDT

I agree with you

Quote From: deloreshiles

It is always concerning when a parent or parents consider their own needs above their child/children's needs.

 

The dictionary defines dad/daddy as a name for a child's father . FATHER  IS DEFINED AS ; a male parent, fatherhood.

 

 MAN IS DEFINED AS AN ADULT HUMAN MALE.

 

FEMALE IS DEFINED AS ONE ;( the sex which bears offspring, relating to this sex or to women.)

 

PARENT IS DEFINED AS FATHER OR MOTHER, MALE OR FEMALE.

 

Michael is a very strong name with strong reference. It is difficult to understand, that these young ladies have had a daddy for years and are expected to call him mommy now?

 

No judgement on Michael, his life is his life, he for his own reasons chooses to appear to be female, whatever.

 

How can his daughters see him as a woman, when in their memory banks daddy was father and male.

 

Like it or not, there is a reason why children need a male and female as parents, you can paint over a stop sign on a street, it is still a stop sign.

 

Michael chooses to be no more,  this is his choice, why do his children have to see their daddy as a Kayla?  I believe Michael is their dad and always will be, Kayla is another entity.

 

Hope one day they can understand the reason why daddy had to leave. Maybe find a friend in Kayla, she is not daddy nor ever can be. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ditto and thank you for your insightful commentary. 
 
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April 29, 2008, 3:53 pm PDT

Who are you??

Quote From: housewife52

First of all, I doubt that anyone would go to this extreme just to get out of paying child support.I think Michael really feels like he is meant to be female. Second of all, how is transgendering into a woman going to get him out of paying child support?

housewife52,

 

Are you Michael's 3rd wife??  I believe he was married 3 times and you sound like his 3rd wife.  I am the first wife and wanted to thank you for responding to these negative statements about the girls.  No one could ever understand what kind of person Michael is.  He was extremely abusive and did not care about the feelings of others.  That is why I was not surprised when he showed no emotion onstage with Dr. Phil.

 

As for Dr. Phil, he is a father and probably cannot fathom what Michael is thinking when he looks at his crying daughters and has no emotion.  How could anyone hear that poem and not have tears.

 

I also agree with you that Michael is not doing this to get out of child support.  He is doing this in the fashion that he does everything else, by dramatization.  I think sometimes that he is using the transgender to throw people off on the fact that he is just gay.

 

Maybe therapy will help if he actually shows up for the appointments. Personally I believe he won't go to therapy but I do know that Dr. Phil has offered the resources for Michael.  Hopefully Michael will go.

 

Thank you.

 
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April 29, 2008, 7:11 pm PDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: calmchris

EXACTLY!!!!
I agree
 
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April 29, 2008, 7:18 pm PDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: afraid

really in all honesty only one is still a child ,  i think at age 21 you are considered a adult, and really his timing couldn't have been any better, just stop and think for a sec, had he decided to become a woman when he was a young man those children wound not be here, and as for the girls blaming themselves I'm not sure this is the case here, their dad cant help what he is or how he feels, he has to be living a living hell himself, and i just don't know why he cant be a dad and a woman, Oprah had a man on her show that is pregnant, so hes going to be both mom and dad all rolled into one,
So you think 21 is not still a child.  How old are you?  Are you old enough that 21 was too many years ago??  I am old enough to realize that 21 year olds are still trying to make their way in the world and continue to need parental guidance.  Some of them like Christina are still in school trying to learn how to make their way in the world.  Michael can be a woman if he so chooses but he cannot expect these children to accept him unconditionally when all of his life, he made fun of everyone that was black, hispanic, gay, etc.  He has always lived in a living hell because that is what his drama life has given him all of the years that I have known him.
 
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April 29, 2008, 7:29 pm PDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: bright_gurl76

I think those girls are being fed the wrong information. They do not know how to put themselves in his shoes. Yes, they do need counseling ...the lot of them.
It's just ignorant for the OLDEST girl (in this day in age) to say Kayla should just be a man again for thier sake. And I wonder where she's getting that input because I don't think it's just the girls speaking.
There are millions of people who do not know how to show emotion... that doesn't mean they don't have feelings. But it does mean they don't know how to deal with those feelings.
The girls have been given no information or education on any transgender issues.  Michael just expects them to accept him the way he presents himself today.  It would be nice if he would step up and parent these girls like he should have done for many years but yet he still "drops the ball"  with his parenting.  Michael needs counseling not only for his trans gender issues but on how to be a parent. He has always fallen short on the fatherhood issues so therefore I didn't expect any better today than what I have seen in the past.
 
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April 29, 2008, 7:37 pm PDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: karynm8621

Thank you for your kind words.

 

I think Dr Phil should have explained the need to transition and its effects. He then should have spelled out how Mikayla dropped the ball in each circumstance. I feel for those girls with all my heart because quite honestly this was handles very very poorly. Even my wife tonight questioned whether or not Mikayla was even in counseling because she should have had the tools to handle this properly.

 

One of the other things that borke my heart in this was the emotional impact. Most Transsexual women have the same compassion and nuturing nature as gender born women. How she could not be emotional at the pain was a suprise to even me. I was to the point of tears for these poor girls

 

 

Christina is the one that wrote to Dr Phil.  Michael was perfectly happy living his life the way he chose to live it, with or without his children.  This is the way Michael is and Dr. Phil could see through that.  This letter to Dr. Phil was a cry out for help and it did not come from Michael.  It came from Christina on behalf of her sister Carlie.
 
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April 30, 2008, 7:38 am PDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: gwarrior6

 

Why is it barbaric?  People's body parts are removed all the time surgically for any variety of reasons.  Cancer, mutilation, reconstruction, etc.  They're not using a machete for crying out loud!  This isn't something that she woke up one day and said "I think I'll be a lady today".  No, this is the product of years of feeling like a woman in the wrong body.

 

Therapy isn't going to "fix" her.  It'll help her with the transition and then help repair the relationships with her kids, that's the reason she should go to therapy, not because she needs to have emotions.  She's keeping her kids at a distance because she's afraid of rejection, which is understandable.  That's why she seems so cold.

 

I'm sorry, but Christine is such an idealist, it makes me gag.  In her poem, she talks about her future family, and that her kids will "always have their dad".  How does she know that?  How does she know that her future baby daddy won't  do the same thing her dad did, or divorce her, or die?  She doesn't, life is like that.  Christine needs to learn to deal with the fact that life isn't perfect, or hers is going to be miserable.  She has to learn to compromise and deal with adversity, because from what I've seen on the show, she can't.

 

That being said, Kayla could've handled the situation better, but I think she honestly wants a relationship with her daughters.  This isn't about emotions and getting in touch with his feminine side....this is an honest desire to BE a woman, not to have feelings. 

The problem that I can see in all of this is the fact that you do not know the whole story.  Dr. Phil cannot put their whole lives on his one hour show.  Michael has always been like this.  Christina is 21 years old.  I am double her age and have lived her lifetime twice.  Of course I am a realist, that comes with time and age.  At 21 years of age, you are an idealist and haven't been scorched by the world yet.  Christina wrote a poem (from the heart) about her feelings for her Dad.  Who would ever be critical to that?
 
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April 30, 2008, 7:48 am PDT

04/29 Daddy Dramas

Quote From: eileenjeanne

For a person as great as you feel you are, I had not seen you get into the two wives! Why do I ask this of you? Did you ever think that it was because of these two women's hate for Kayla, did everything possible to make their daughters hate their dad?  Did you even think of asking the two ex -wives if Kayla did try to communicate with her daughters, only for the two-ex-wives never tell them of this.  There are so many questions you should of asked the two ex-wives, their mothers  brain washing their children to hate what their dad has done!

Don't throw stones until you know the ENTIRE STORY!!!! Lastly...Look at the show again and please tell me that Kayla did not show any emotion!  She held back her tears and feelings. Why... I'm not able to say why, but she was very much torn apart being victimized by you, Dr. Phil!  Look again at the video and look at the two ex-wives expressions... I didn't see them cry, Did you? What I saw on their faces were, mission accomplished, Our daughters hate him! 

Bring them back for part 2 Dr. Phil... Tear them apart like you had done with Kayla! you just may learn about "Hail hath no fury  like A Woman's Scorn!"

You have no idea what you are talking about.  You cannot know the whold story either.  You look at the show again.  You will see tears from the mothers.  The mothers have been at the receiving end of Michael's abuse for many years.  Do not throw stones at Dr. Phil.  He did a world of good for the girls.  This show has validated their feelings and Dr. Phil is providing resources for Michael to go to therapy and the girls are willing to participate.  The look you saw on the Mom's faces was one of appreciation that Dr. Phil was able to give some type of comfort to the girls.  The girls are the ones who are suffering.  Why... I'm not able to say why, but they are the victims.  So keep your one sided opinion to yourself.
 

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