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April 29, 2008, 12:01 am PDT
Lose her job?
Quote From: sunnylashelSure, anytime. Here or email me.
My grandson called tonight all upset. "Gram! Mom just spent over 200.00 on jewlery but wouldn't buy me a 15.00 watch that I NEED!" I told him to buy his own watch with the money he earns from me every month. I get paid on the 3rd so it should still be on sale. I told him it will mean more to him if he buys it himself. I also said mom does not HAVE to buy him things like that even if she IS spending on herself.
Saturday she spent 508.00 on a television. I'm sure her income tax is gone (or near gone) by now.
This drives me insane! I've read the books and gone on the websites to learn everything I can about this disorder. I was horrified to learn there is actually an abnormality in their brains! Plus the deficits in their decision making. They are not lazy or stupid or anything else one would think....this is a SICKNESS! But I can't let my grandson live in that filthy mess! She risks loosing her job if the AF finds out! That's one of the reasons she won't go to a therapist!
Go on the web...there are thousands of hoarders! It's sick and SAD!
Sunny I seriously doubt that your daughter would lose her job if she goes to therapy. First, It's illegal to be fired for that. She could sue the government. They know that. They won't fire her. Lots of people, with VERY high clearances are in therapy. How do I know? My father had very high clearance in the defense department. At least two of the people under him were in counseling/therapy. My husband is a director in a government agency. He wishes some of those under him would get the help that they need. But it's illegal for him to suggest that, or to ask if they are getting help. My son also has a clearance.
Second, no one at your daughter's job would ever know if she was in therapy. HIPAA makes it illegal for ANYONE to get our medical records. If your daughter doesn't tell her senior officers, they will never find out. How would they?
For more information on health care privacy:
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/
Does your daughter have a security clearance? If so, her friends and neighbors will be questioned about how she lives. I just completed such a form for one of my neighbors. An investigator interviewed me about another neighbor. BUT, they cannot get any medical records. It's not therapy that will cause problems for your daughter, but a neighbor might tell them about the mess. I don't know if that could effect her job or not. It probably depends on her clearance level. Security investigators will visit her at home, particularly if she has a high level of clearance, and someone tells them that there is a problem. She could lose her clearance, but even that is not likely, unless she has a VERY high clearance. Even then, she couldn't lose her job, just her clearance. If she has a clearance, she knows how the clearance investigations work.
I suspect that your daughter is telling you that she cannot get help for her problem, because she doesn't want to get help. She is using her job as an excuse for not getting help. She is afraid that a therapist would tell her she has to rid of her 'stuff'. That wouldn't happen, but she's afraid of it. Her stuff brings her comfort. The thought of being told to get rid of it is very anxiety producing. Clutter reduces anxiety for hoarders, unlike most of us who get anxious if we have too much stuff around, hoarders feel the opposite.
I wish you the best, it must be heartbreaking to see your grandson living like that. But don't buy her excuses. If she wants help, she can get it.
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