I too although looking back can see it was extreme emotion, but would have moved to another country to keep my then three young children from visiting their biodad. I always told my boys that their biodad had problems and they should pray for him. I did everything humanly possible to not speak at all about the ex-it did no more than raise my blood pressure. I feel that him shooting himself, the law being called at least weekly to break up druken fights at his home, and also being stabbed late night in the bad side of town<okay hear you go Dr. Phil--doesn't take a brain scientist to figure that one out> The biodad hasn't seen the boys regular at all maybe 10-15 times in over 10 years; the younger two children don't even know that their biodad shot himself--so don't go telling me I've brainwashed anyone. The oldest knows because unfortunately he was on the phone with his dad when the whole scene played out. Yes I could of lied to what was then around 9 year old child but at that point the child needed to know that mom was not going to lie to him and tell him straight - to sugar coat anything at that time would be setting the child up for many more heartaches.
Warning here-- as we all know not everything is always as it seems-there are lots of reasons some of these deadbeat dads want to claim this--sometimes the other parent who has accepted the responsibility has to protect the children-at whatever cost it takes.
Oh by the way I received the invite to be in your audience and would love to accept ;however, being the single parent with three great children-oldest is a Junior in college-middle is Sophmore in High School-and youngest is 13 in 8th grade, I don't have the funds to arrange that. Yep you guessed it the biodad does not, never has and probably never will pay child support - hey that's what being a deadbeat dad is. And the boys and I have accepted that; yes some may say that is not good for children I say ,"Would you have rather the children been in the car the night he was stabbed or at their dad's home asleep and left alone or left along the path with the shady characters that having this type of problem brings around?"
No it's not a perfect solution--it took two to bring MY wonderful boys in the world but it has only taken ONE to raise them into what they are today--we don't live in a perfect world. I would put the boxing gloves on in a heartbeat if the biodad tried to come back for visitation after all these years but reality is he doesn't want to he really just wants to sit around and try to make people feel sorry for him, and play on people's sympathy that his exwife will not let him see the boys.
