Messages By: alinabrown

Look, we don't know what kind of father this guy might have been, or might still be, but that little girl deserves the chance to know him as her father.  I grew up with a father who didn't want me and I'm thoroughly frustrated that in a world where most men would have walked away and washed their hands of the big deal, this guy didn't and he's being punished.  If there was a chance that my father, good, bad, or indifferent, actually wanted to be my father, I would have been over the moon.  So, he's got a checkered past, as he calls it, and he doesn't know much about being a parent.  We should be doing everything we can to help him overcome his obstacles instead of throwing more in his way.  He's got a problem with drinking and breaking the law?  There are treatment programs and half-way programs to help.  He doesn't know how to provide child care?  There are parenting classes out there.  He's got a problem with employment and driving?  There are job training programs available everywhere.  I think it's ridiculous that this man, out of the millions of men who DO walk away, has been told that he can't be a father to his own child.

And, how hypocritical of the mother and her family to deny him the joy of knowing his child while they have the freedom to visit the child whenever they want.  And, if it's an open adoption, then the father should have the same right of access as the mother, right?

Politicians and religious leaders stand in front of the cameras every day and talk about the breakdown of the American family.  But, when push comes to shove, they're not doing anything to preserve the family, are they?  Instead, they're using obscure laws to prevent a father from being a father.  But, when my father didn't pay child support or make any effort to visit his children (my sister and me), where were the lawyers then?  You can't make someone be a father but why in the world would you stop someone from being a father when he wants to?  Is it me, or do we have our priorities seriously skewed in this country?

Okay, at fourteen, little Miss Sherri's going to think her mother's embarrassing, no matter what her mother does.  And, so what if her mother feels the need to sing and dance wherever she goes?  It sounds like she's enjoying her life and who among us can say that?

Jessica needs to either pay for a personality transplant for her husband or ditch him.  She gained weight carrying HIS children and bringing them into the world.  He needs to knock off the hurtful and hateful comments and realize that he's not making things better.  Comparing your wife and the mother of your children to a pig isn't being helpful, which is what he's going to claim he's trying to do.  You don't motivate someone into changing by hurting and humiliating them.

As for Grace, state your opinion and then SHUT UP.  A grown child doesn't have to do what you tell them to anymore.  So, insisting on getting your way all the time is a sign of deep immaturity and you need to stop and think about what you're doing to your relationship not only with your children but your grandchildren (if you have any).  There's a point in your life that you have to let go of being an active parent and become a hands-off advisor and confident.  If you don't let go, your children will avoid you and you'll lose them.