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Messages By: ronsvulcan

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Distressed

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worried
March 18, 2006, 12:19 pm CST

Living with one that is in chronic pain

    I met my wife in 1997 while working in a department store. We hit it off immediately and soon fell very deeply into love. After only one year we decided to marry. It was my 4th and her 2nd. Her first husband was killed in a railway accident several years before she met me and I just got involved in a lot of bad relationships during my 20 years in the military.  Five months prior to our November wedding my wife became very ill.  Her doctor's could not figure out what the problem was and in fact she got to the point where she suggested I move on and we not marry at all.  Well, that didn't happen and we were married in November 1998.  In January of 1999 I took her to my doctor who diagnosed her with FIBROMYALGIA.  She was told it was a disease that woud neither go away or get any better.  We have been married for a little over seven years at this point and she has been pretty much in chronic pain for all of them. She takes about 20 prescriptions 3 times daily and has no social life what so ever.  Every 6 weeks she goes to see her "Pain Management" doctor who shoots her back up full of some kind of drugs so that she can at least partially function.  She basically lives in bed, goes nowhere and does nothing 24x7.  The FYBRO has led to several other ocmplications to include depression and narcolepsy.  She had a both breast reduction and bariatriac bypass surgery that helped her to lose 130 pounds, but she is still in pain constantly and non functional most of the time.  On a good day she is very pleasant and very fun to be with, but on a bad day (and they far outweigh the good) she is very difficult to live with.  She is a wonderful person and a very loving person, but the pain and the drugs have made our lives miserable most of the time.  I wish there was a solution and that I knew how to make things better for her, but I just can't.  For me, it is just a day to day survival.
 
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Distressed

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frustrated
October 15, 2006, 8:15 am CDT

In Law Troubles

         My wife passed away in May of this year, very unexpectedly.  This was her second marriage as  her first husband was killed in an industrial accident 20 yrs earlier.  When we got married in 1998 my wife never changed her will. The deed to the house is in her name and her will leaves all her assets to her children.  In 2000 she and I remodeled the home and took out a very large 2nd mortgage for over $100k.  My name is on the mortagage loan, but not on the deed to the home and not in the will.  Ever since my wife passed, her parents have done nothing but cause havoc in my life. They want me out of the home because they say it belongs to her children, both of whom are grown and gone and neither of whom has any interest in the home. My wife's daughter, whom I spent 7 yrs loving and supporting and now lives in FL with her grandparents has joined in the fight and is making my life unbearable as well.  The county coroner determined my wife's death to be an accidental overdose of prescribed medications she was taking and heer family holds me responsible for that as well.  Ever since she passed on, my life has been and continues to be a living hell.  If it were not for my familiy and a few close friends, I"m certain I would either be in a rubber room or in the same place my wife is at.
 
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Distressed

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surprised
February 6, 2007, 10:15 am CST

These guys all have issues

I have an issue with any man that refuses to treat his wife with respect and like a lady. To hit a woman is absolutely not acceptable in any way unless it's a strike in self defense. Fighting in front of your children is the worst thing a set of "so called" parents can do because all that does is destroy the children while the parents destroy themselves.   These 3 couples need serious help and judging from past performances, if Dr. Phil can't help them there is no hope. I wish I'd have had his help with my marriage before my wife passed on, it probably would have made for better lives for the both of us. These guys need to trust him and shut up and listen and their women need to do the same. Bring Robin into the picture and let the women really hear it the way it is, or at least should be.
 
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Distressed

Message Emote
quiet
February 24, 2007, 9:19 am CST

infidelity is a deal breaker every time

I faithfully watch the Dr. Phil school pretty much daily and some of the people I see there really astound me. I can say that I've been married four times, all for the wrong reasons and none of them has worked out.   My latest wife passed away last year, but she was very very ill for the entire time we were married and our sexual contact was non-existent for 6 of the 7 yrs we were married.  Not only did I never do it, but I never ever considered being unfaithful to her just because I felt the need to satisfy my sexual urges.  In two of my previous relationships, my ex was more than unfaithful and more than just once.  That is the most hurtful thing in the world and as far as I am concerned unforgiveable. If the person, regardless of who it is, will do it once, they will certainly do it more than once because the 2nd time is always easier.   Not everyone agrees with my opinion, but it is what it is. Thanks for listening.

 

sincerely

r. blum

oh

 

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