Messages By: momofalex

this is for all the people that think alienation doesn't happen. IT DOES! My husband has a daughter to a ex girlfriend. He always has wanted to see her and have a relationship with her but her mother did everything in her power to prevent it. He would go to court to get visitation and she would say all kinds of things in there to try and have him not see her. The judge would always tell her she had to let him see her and she has actually told the judge she wouldn't. They told her she could be found in contempt of court but every time he had to go in and say she wouldn't let him see her they did nothing to her. She would move, change her number, not be home, not answer the door, got a viciouse dog to put out so he couldn't get to the door and if she was with us she would call and tell her to ask to come home so she could get ice cream or pizza or to see someone that was there. The only reason she didn't  take his rights away is because she wanted the child support from him. We spent thousands of dollars and he had seen her maybe a years worth of visitation in 16 years. She told his daughter all those years that he quit coming to get her and he didn't want to see her. We knew she wanted to see us because if we saw her in public she would wave to us (which she would get hit for by her mother) or if she was with her "stepdad" (he wasn't really) she could actually talk to us he would let her. But if her mom found out she would punish her for it.  When she was 16 I found her on myspace and we started talking. Her mom was mad and told her all kinds of lies and there was a time when she wasn't talking to us because of it. I told her I could get all the court orders and transcripts and she could read them herself and form her own opinions. She is now 18 and we have a pretty good relationship with her. We have found out that her mother has been hitting consistantly her since she was 15 and sporatically before that. And we had to take her to the police recently. Her mother has moved and she didn't go with her. She wants nothing to do with her mother right now. Her mom is really mad and has threatened to beat the s**t out of her once her baby is born and take the baby away from her. We are here for her and only now have things really started to come out. She always thought her dad didn't want to see her and that he never paid a dime in support for her. She was physically and mentally abused all those years.  In our case things have worked out somewhat and they have a relationship now. It could be better but with all that baggage it will take time. She sees us and her 2 brothers now. By the way one brother is her full brother (19) which her mom didn't want and never wanted to see.  The alienation really hurt everybody involved but in our case I think the mother is now the big loser and if she could have just tried to get along things could have been so much better.