Messages By: mesherri

 

Whether good or bad, I can relate to just about everyone that has posted a message.  I too have been overweight all my life, have medical problems, and yes, had thoughts of suicide at one point in my life.  I would never carry them out now because I know how much I mean to my family and how much they mean to me.

 

As for being a large person, the world can be cruel.  We pay extra for plus size clothing and for seats on air planes, we get looked at strange when going to buffets or restaurants.  People and kids say things under their breath and call you names, respectively.  It's not easy sometimes and our self esteem doesn't help matters.  My self esteem as been in the gutter too many times to count, I still haven't figured out how to inflat it. 

 

So, I continue to struggle through life with my overweight body, my many health issues, and some other stressful family problems.  A lot of times I feel like I am doing OK and other times I feel like slipping away somewhere.  Things will be all right, I just have to keep trudging along.

 

I too am an adult child of an alcoholic.  I wish I could remember a time when my father didn't drink but I can't, it has been a problem that long.  My father's problem has gotten worse since my mother died of cancer in March of 2002, he has steadily started drinking earlier and earlier everyday.  Thanksgiving Day my father told me he thinks his drinking is killing him, what do you say to that???  I was so shocked, so dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say.  I know I can't make him stop drinking, he has to want it but I am afraid I am going to loose him at a young age just like I did my mother.  It is during the holidays that I wish I could just escape, leave everything behind and not look back but I can't do it, I am too caring like my mother so I will stay by my dad and the rest of the family to support them as I fall to pieces inside.