Messages By: duckydes

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August 16, 2005, 3:44 pm PDT

08/16 Bullies

Quote From: hevers

I would just like to thank all the other kids out there that are stepping up and being mature and loving people and giving Tess and Mark their screen names and email addresses.  I think that will help them out so much just knowing that there are kids their own age who do want to be their friends.  They are great kids, both of them. 

You guys are great!  We need more people like you out in this crazy world we all live in and it'd be a much better place to live in. 

  

Heather  

I agree with Heather that the kids who offered their emails, etc., are wonderful!  I would also like to tell everybody that high school does end eventually.  I was miserable as a teenager, and was thrilled when I graduated from high school.  Much to my amazement, it all stopped.  Nobody cared about my clothes or anything once I became an adult. 

  

I wish I could say more.  It will end, though, I promise.  Lots of kids who were considered nerds when they were teenagers became amazing computer scientists as adults. 

 
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August 24, 2005, 1:39 pm PDT

08/23 Kids Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: packardli

Melissa - After watching Dr. Phil today, I really empathized with what you are going through!  I am also a product of 2 alcoholic parents who also happened to be physically abusive.  Unlike you, however, I allowed my low self esteem to control the choices I made as an adolescent, and I got in with the wrong crowd at school.   My grades plummeted in middle school and I began hanging around with the "hoods" (what would be considered "goths" by today's standards).  I got pregnant at 16 (gave the baby up for adoption), then again at 17 (kept the baby and married the abusive father).  I had 2 children from this marriage.  After 11 years of hell, I divorced this man only to marry another abusive man.   

  

I could go on and on about all the terrible mistakes that I made, but I really want you to know about my life today.   I put myself through college on scholarships (3.95 GPA) as I was raising my children .  I now have a graduate degree and have been a teacher for 13 years.  I teach middle school math, and am able to connect (because of my own past) in a powerful way with the students who have incredibly disfunctional and heartbreaking homelives.  I am married now to a wonderfully sweet and supportive man and we have a lovely home in the country.   In other words, you really can free yourself from a horrible past and become and do anything that you desire!  

   

I just want you to know how proud of you I am, and how deeply your story touched me!  I know that you are going to make a big difference in the lives of many because of your adversities.  Your past has already given you strength and determination, compassion, and leadership qualities that are already inspiring others, and will no doubt bless and inspire the lives of the many people whom you will encounter throughout your life.  Very best wishes to you, and God bless!  

   

Linda  

   

   

I agree so much with this!  You CAN do it, you already have done it.  Somehow, you managed to rise above your immediate family and its problems.  Yes, it is hard to do, especially compared to kids whose parents pay for anything they want, and who go to college to have parties, another thing their parents pay for.  But you already know what they have yet to learn.  Food and housing do not fall from the sky, and if they want a furnished apartment,  for example, they will have to (gasp!) get a job and pay for it. 

  

Keep facing forward and keep your goals in mind. 

 
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August 28, 2005, 6:45 pm PDT

08/25 Alcohol and Abuse

Quote From: ozzylaw

Often less is used to charge someone with Domestic Abuse. Usually it's just the word (and bruises) of one against the other. I would imagine it would be a prosecuter's dream to have everything caught on tape. No question of how the bruises appeared in that video! As for the kids, I agree placement with family is usually better for kids, however it would seem that Shelia has ALOT of abuse on her side, and no mention was made of Steve's family.  In Oklahoma, a child is initially placed in "the shelter" until a hearing determines where they are placed. CPS (or DHS here) has to do home studies of the family members to make sure the kids aren't placed in a worse situation. So sometimes foster care is used short time at least. As for charges against Steve. Unless he is stopped at the time he is driving drunk, nothing can be done about that. He's obviously unfit to care for those kids alone. They'd be taking care of him! I agree both are to blame!

Those poor kids!  Now that their parents have admitted on national TV what they are really like, I don't know if they would be allowed to keep their jobs, let alone their kids.  I would think the police and CPS could show a judge those tapes and have the children taken away to a safe place.  The drunken father driving the kids around is bad, but what worries me is the mother's complete loss of control of her temper. 

  

As the kids get older and have smart-aleck mouths, what will the mother do to them? 

 
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September 19, 2005, 4:20 pm PDT

09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"

Quote From: phobia99

I was totally shocked by the sheer ignorance of this woman. I'm not justifying what the woman is doing by saying this but: you can definately tell it's the abuse from her childhood working through. The woman's actions are EVIL.  I think the husband needs to quit being a door mat to that woman. What makes me wonder is did the wife propose to the husband? I was thinking she did. The husband probably married her and won't divorce her because he's afraid she'll like butcher him or something. After all, it wasn't the husband that called Dr. Phil was it? The man of the house needs to be the man of the house. Set his foot down. Get that woman some anger management classes then see how things go from there. If it doesn't work with the couple, the man needs to divorce that monster; or else those children will need professional help. If the husband just decides to leave it be, those children will pass down that evil legacy to their children. Then the whole problem will start all over again. Someone needs to get those girls and spoil the crap out of them and love them to death. They're not living in a house, they're living in a prision. And the warden isn't nice. 

  

P.S. Who interviewed those parents and determained that they were suitable parents? If I were the adoptee...I'd be begging to go back to the foster home. 

i was abused as a child, too, and I certainly did not do the same to my children.  I think it is just an excuse when people say they did something awful because they has been abused.  I hope the husband does not leave and leave the children with her.
 
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October 7, 2005, 3:37 pm PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Breast feeding is OK in public as long as it's done with discretion.  I have seen women yank their breasts out of their shirts and park their baby on it., then go into a store or restaurant, loudly saying something like, "Ouch, not so hard!" to the baby and commenting to other people that they do not get any rest because the baby always needs to be fed.   

  

They obviously draw attention to themselves by such behavior.  OK, maybe breasts shouldn't be seen as private parts, but they are.   I don't want to look at them either. 

 
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December 5, 2005, 3:01 pm PST

12/05 Nasty Breakups

Quote From: legend978

Dr. Phil, 

You let the father off of the hook. He is the parent!!! It is and has always been the parent responsibility to try to make his children comfortable and safe. It sounds like to me that he abandon his children and never took their feeling into account. You never told him that he has a responsibility to his children to be there for them. You did tell the daughter that if he died that she would regret it. You never did tell him that or that he was missing part of his children and grand-children lives. Neither did you tell him that he he took on that responsibility when he had those children . You also should have told him to be the man, not a self indulged child. I am 40 years old and have never had a relationship with my father. In my twenties and early thirties I called him on several occasions trying to have a relationship with him. I know the pain of feeling that he doesn't care. This father reminds me of him. I remember the time I was in the hospital and they thought I may die. He never even called after my aunt called and told him. This father needs to and must be the "dad".  

These so-called children are adults and should grow up.  The father stuck around for a LONG time before he chose happiness for himself.  I am sorry you never had a relationship with your father.  My own father was abusive and neglectful,  but that doesn't mean I judge everybody else by that standard.  The daughters need to stop being so judgmental.
 
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January 19, 2006, 5:06 pm PST

Why is such a fuss being made over this one person?

OK, it's very hard on the parents to have their daughter disappear and not know what happened to her, but come on!  She is just one of many, many missing people every year.  Why is such a big deal made of this one young lady who, actually, brought some trouble on herself by getting drunk and hanging out with people she didn't know? 

  

I am not saying I don't sympathize with the family, I do.  But really, will they ever know what happened to Natalie?  I do not understand the commotion being made over this ONE PERSON! 

 
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January 21, 2006, 4:30 pm PST

01/18 "Fighting Over the Will"

Quote From: babygirl74

 Why can't the 19 year-old just grow up? Just because you inherited some money, doesn't mean your ego has to be so high that you have no idea as to what you're doing. My mom tried to protect me for so long that when I moved out, I had to learn about the world the hard way. I don't wish that on anyone. I think that the mom needs to leave the son alone, and when he comes to his senses, sooner or later, he'll realized that life is not about money, and the way the he's spending it is showing how responsible he really is.
I am wavering between naming my son, now 22, as beneficiary on my life insurance because he is a drug addict, and I'm afraid he will just blow the money on drugs., and my husband, who swears he would give my son money to live on, but not all of it to kill himself with.  By the time I croak, he may be clean and sober, in which case I would want him to have the money, or he might be in prison or a drug rehab place. 
 
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January 25, 2006, 2:30 pm PST

01/25 Is This Normal?

We breed dogs (Siberian Huskies, which are very gentle, though big, dogs).  We will not keep a dog that bites, no matter who is bitten, and we certainly don't let little kids anywhere near them.  If biting is something a dog will do, it cannot be trusted anytime, anywhere, anytime.  Yes, it may be natural instinct, but that doesn't matter.  The dog just can't be trusted.
 
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February 2, 2006, 3:22 pm PST

What About the Children?

What are children in these relationships supposed to do?  There may be more adults in their homes for awhile, but what about break-ups?  It seems ;like it would be even harder on the kids than a divorce because they would lose more than one person who was very important to them. 

  

A hundred years ago when I was a teenager, I knew a girl and a guy who knew who their father was having an affair with, her name, where she lived, when they were together, etc.  As far as I know, their mother didn't know about it.  They were disgusted by their father's behavior, and wondered why he didn't just get a divorce. 

 

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