Messages By: justmyangle

My mother was a pack rack, but she was very insistent that our environment be clean. Even though we always lived in an apartment, and boxes of stuff would be stacked in a corner, everything else would be cleaned as needed and thoroughly cleaned every Saturday.

As a single mother of three children, we lived in a cluttered, pack-rat environment. I allowed my children to clutter their rooms "because at least they did well in school and school was more important than them having to deal with cleaning their rooms" (I rationalized). I was fairly successful in keeping the common areas only cluttered, but not filthy. Two of my children tend to be 'clutter bugs'. I sense a feeling of frustration from one of my children, and three of my grandchildren, which seems related to clutter.

I am finally a recovering pack-rat and mild hoarder. When I would actively hoard, the old adage of "Waste not, want not" would come  to my mind. So I would keep pens, pieces of paper, home office supplies, etc. I used to keep magazines, newspapers, and articles 'because I may need to refer to them later'.

Also, the side effect of three years of depression after the death of my stepson resulted in several straight immobilized days. Many times during those years, I sat on a sofa for hours. I didn't get up to eat, drink, or bathe. So, I certainly didn't have the emotional or physical energy to deal with the environmental accumulation.

I stated all this to indicate that I have an idea of events that can lead to hoarding.

Thank God that I am on the path to try to de-clutter, and simplify our co-existence with "stuff", while trying to maintain a healthy desire for having a spacious, pleasant environment.

We are currently shopping for a replacement mattress set in order to rest better, and replacement living room furniture for a more pleasant, comfortable area in which to relax. I am trying to decide whether to have a garage sale or give away the rest of the "hoarded" items that are usable.

The decision is to weigh the time/effort it takes to have a garage sale against the immediate result of de-cluttering the accumulation. Considering that I am temporarily disabled and the current economic environment, which choice to make is difficult. But, I plan to make the decision within a couple of weeks and follow through with with fervor!

I feel that a person's unsecured debt could become a problem as the result of a person becoming a hoarder. 

Suggestions that I have related to the segment are (1) Rather than going through the extreme costly detoxification of the houses and storage places, that they be disposed of and replaced--there is most certainly rampant mold and mildew. Also, replacement of the belongings seems advisable so that mold will not contaminate the 'new' spaces. (2) that the children be placed apart from the "hoarders" until the time that counseling/behavior modification has been enacted by the adults. By doing this, it can give the children a reprieve from being in the middle of the toxic adults.  (3) The animals do not seem to be a priority. If they are truly unwanted--give them to a no-kill shelter for adoption. If the animals are wanted, an outside sheltered area should be constructed for them, considering that they are not house-trained. The current housing situation isn't even good for animals.

I know that the healing and modifications can take a lot of time, but it will be well worth it in so many ways! Go forward as you look to a more rewarding existence.

In response to Chris: About three months after radiation treatments for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma were completed, I had an extreme anxiety attack at work. I really thought that I was going to die because I had so much trouble breathing. I had no history of anxiety attacks; therefore, I did not know what was happening. Medical professionals failed to tell me that I had dealt with the physical part of the cancer, but not the emotional part of it. It's unfortunate that your doctor was uncompassionate with you. I was working in a demanding, high-profile job and felt as if I couldn't take anymore time off. In hindsite, I found out that taking a little more time off could have helped a lot, if it would have been in conjunction with counselling. After a long process, my philosophy has become that I can't change what happened before, I can only go forward from this minute on--I can only influence the future. 

My conclusion about my hoarding issues is that it stemmed from several decades of criticism for a whole spectrum of decisions. The criticism would typically come from those who confessed to care and/or love me--which, of course, impacted my phsyche. I would basically become immobilized to 'cleanse' my environment, in order to avoid criticism that would definitely follow.

There has been many  devastations in the United States. I began to think about the chance of something happening to my "things". So, I am now on a mission to de-clutter to the point of enjoying a more spacious living environment, along with the "things" that are most precious to me, such as family photos.

De-cluttering and putting a stop to hoarding starts with a mental process that we are capable of doing, with the help of other resources, i.e. books, Internet, friends, family.

Don't give up--get the emotional support you need and de-clutter your life. You will be glad that you did!

justmyangle.  

My personal experience with having a dropped uterus follows. My doctor told me that my dropped uterus happened because of having my children and he gave me three choices: 1) stay in pain for the rest of my life 2) be walking and have my uterus literally drop out of my body, or 3) have surgery for a partial hysterectomy (removal of cervix and uterus). Because I had already gone through 1 1/2 years of one infection after another, plus I had all the children that I wanted (three), I immediately chose the surgery. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

However, I was not told about potential post-operation side effects that I happened to experience (I don't know if they are typical side effects). One side effect was a very bad bladder infection (it painful because I waited too long to go to the doctor, but was better in a couple days). The other side effect that was even worse for me was that one day, for only one day, I became very suicidal. Because of my religious belief, I would never commit suicide while in my right mind. There were absolutely no reasons for the suicidal feeling because, even though I was a single parent of three, I was looking forward to the surgery, and I had a great caretaker for the children while I was hospitalized and first recovering.

So, Dorine, please have the surgery ASAP so that you'll feel better. However, ask the doctor to fully explain all the potential side effects that may be worrisome to you.

You will probably need to be on Estrogen for several years, but it is a small tablet, and a small price to pay to feel so much better.

(I needed to composed this quickly, so I hope that it makes sense).