Messages By: bare_moth

My best friend and I have known each other for 7 years, and in that time we've shared in each others joy and pain. In highschool we both had the dream to go to University and make the most of our respective talents, but in the final year of our schooling her father left her family and her self confidence took a nose dive.  

Now, she's working part time behind a bar and I'm in my final year of University. She's just told me she's pregnant and I can't help feeling slightly angry at her for it. She's only 20 years old, she hasn't seen the world yet, she's still young and should be partying and having fun rather than changing nappies.  Plus it means she's tying herself to the father of the baby, forever at such a young age. Logically, I know that her decision is the right one for her because our values are different. I want to be able to support her and find peace in myself with what's happening.  

Anyone have any suggestions as to how I can do this for myself and my best friend?   

"Hasn't matured in a romantic type of way" eh?....Yeah I used to get a line like that from an ex of mine, every time he 'just wanted to be friends' because there was something more accessible on offer.  

You need to realise that whether you're with someone or not, his immaturity in romance isn't going to change any time soon and you deserve someone who's loving and ready for a relationship now (if that's what you want).  

I guess, in the end when it comes down to this new boyfriend, you've just got to go back to good ol' Dr Phil, when he says about relationships how it's about a solid understanding of one another, a friendship and most importantly whether or not the proper needs are being fulfilled by each partner. And if the guy you're with right now isn't fulfilling those needs, then maybe you need to end it.   

I hope that helped a little...and good luck with the band.  

I can see your point but I don't agree with it totally because it takes two people in order to have an imbalance of power. 

I lived with my boyfriend for a few months (I had no where else to go and had to camp at his place) and I never once put on a show so he could see what a "great wife" I would make. In fact, all I did was proove what a slob I could be and how I have an acute innability when it comes to folding clothes or making beds :P 

But the time we spent together taught us so much about one another, one of the main things being we were both too young to be sharing our space with someone else. But it's still in our 'plan' to live together in the future to see if we're compatible. 

To a degree though, you're right, living together does mean checking off a list in many ways. It's a chance to see whether you can deal with each other financially, mentally, physically, emotionally in that kind of domestic environment.