Messages By: anorcalmom2

I sat there tonight watching the episode about "Brainwashing" and PAS and I swear an hour has never gone by so fast in my whole life!

I've been involved in a nasty custody battle for the past 3 years. We've been divorced for 8. This all started when he wanted to move two hours away with our kids to be with his new wife. He had an attorney and I didn't. And I fought it till the bitter end.

And yes, our oldest (not so much our younger, our son) was so completely brainwashed by my ex. To the point that she was, and just like the guest tonight said, she was telling the evaluators that I wasnt feeding them, leaving them home alone etc etc. Same ol song and dance! And according to my ex, when it was time for me to pick up the kids, they would drop to the floor and BEG their Dad to let them stay with him. Ironically enough, when I would pick them up, they would run out the door to hug me totally with smiles and joy.....hhhmmmm!

I tried a few times to bring up the issue of what was truly going on and what his motive was. When I brought up Parental Alienation Syndrome to the "female Judge", she laughed in my face and said, "OH dont give me that line of garbage." The courts didn't truly see what was going on. The mediators, evaluators, therapists....none of them would see it. Yet, I saw it. My family and friends all saw it. And as depressed as my kids were becoming, they obviously saw it.

The biggest issue, in my opinion, and this is based on past experiences...I dont think anyone will deny that when a couple divorces, the kids are put in the middle. Its been happening since the first divorce out there. So yes, the courts do realize that alienation and manipulation does go on WAY more than it should. But what the courts are so very not ready to face is the "psycobabble" of it being a "syndrome." When it reality it is. It has been proven over and over again that this type of behavior from a malicious ex spouse is VERY damaging to a child. Maybe not so much at the time, but when they grow up.....most of the time they do figure it out and turn on the parent doing the alienating. And this is what I recently told my ex. While I don't want to see any long term damage from all of this, I can guarantee you that SOMEDAY my kids will ask why it is that they were taken from their Mom and made to move two hours away. And yes, like the other parents on the show today, I was accused of abuse, neglect and substance abuse issues. Yet they have ALL come back unfounded. But he had the funds for legal help and I did not. And it gets you to the point that you truly wonder....are the Judges, evaluators, mediators in our small town...all having lunch together??

Like Ive said from the start...there are kids that are truly being abused/neglected etc....but normally they are confused by this and will actually protect the abusing parent. Not refuse to see them. Loving a parent is just as much a natural emotion as loving your child is. Its unconditional. And its such a shame that the court system doesn't see that. Helllo...when a child is not wanting to be with a parent or pulling away....there is something very unhealthy going on.

And just like Glen Shultz, I too was so ready to pack them up and head for Mexico as my last resort. Luckily I came to my senses in the end and finally just threw in the towel...So now Im dealing with my only two babies living two hours away. But at least in a few years, things will change. I have faith with that. But had I taken off like I was so ready to, our relationship would have been ruined forever.

I just hope that my ex watched the show! And the Judge for that matter.....

Cuz PAS does exist. And its time that its given the importance that it should.

But just in case he didn't, I took REALLY good notes and will be sending him his list of THE 5 THINGS he has done the past three years that will most likely screw up the same children he just fought and paid almost 100k to get full custody of!

Thank You.