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worried

August 1, 2009, 9:00 am PDT

What am I to do?

4 months ago, my 19 year old son was living with his 18 year old best friend, My sons friend had been placed on medication for depression 3 months prior to his sucide..there were no warning sign of him gonna take his life..my son was asleep on their couch during the day time, and his friend laid down beside him and stuck a gun into his mouth and pulled the trigger..my son woke up to that! I have had lots of emotions thru this, angry because I feel he took apart of my son with him and because my son will never be the same..I hurt for my son and for the family of this boy daily. My son is in the National Guard and has been for 2 years prior to this, it has only been 4 months and my son is just now finally sleeping by himself again and able to be alone again. He refuses to take any meds to help him sleep or talk to very many ppl about this, afraid that someone will prescribe him meds like they did his friend..he truely believes that is what caused his friend to commit sucide, the medications that he had been put on 3 months earlier. I know that there are several emotions that people have to go thru to get thru this, but I don't think anger will ever be an emotion that my son will get to..He is not angry at his friend at all, his is angry that he doesn't have him anymore, but I fear that if he doesnt go thru all the emotions that he will never be able to move forward. Life for my son is pretty much a daily struggle, ups and downs..good days, bad days..good days are getting more and more..but I fear that some day that this may all become to much for him to handle..he has talked to military counslers, and they finally got him past the " I wanna know WHY" stage...but we seem to be stuck there...Today is his friends birthday, my son has driven 3 hours to his friends gravesite to visti with him for his birthday..I, feel that that may have not been a good move for him to do, but he felt it was necessary..I just ask for prayer for my son as well as his friends family...this has taken a traumatic toll on our family..If beg, if anyone is thinking about sucide..please seek help..You don't know the effect you are having on the ppl that love you for the rest of their lives...

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worryingmom

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August 1, 2009, 9:09 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: lauribuns

Apparently you have never suffered from depression or for that matther any other illness.. And you must also be a saint who has never done anything wrong. Depression is an illness and trust me people do not like feeling like taking their lives.. Would God like you any less if you had another diesase. We all make promises to God, and hate dissappointing Him. We just have to do our best and that is all He asks of us.

4 months ago, my sons 18 year old roommate commit sucide by lying down beside my son while he was asleep and pulling the trigger..My son has asked me many times since then if I thought his friend went to heaven or hell for his actions. I don't know the "correct" answer per say..but I have told my son, that I believe that GOD knew that his friend was sick and knew that he didn't know what he was doing. That is all I can really come up with to tell him..I do believe that what I have told him is true..but for my sons friend and his where abouts after taking his life, I question it myself a little bit..how are we to know? I know that some religions tell us that if we take our own lives then we are doomed to hell..but GOD is the all knowing GOD, he has to know that people that do this, are not themselves and don't really know what they are doing.

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worryingmom

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August 1, 2009, 9:16 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: redfeathers

I agree. I agree 100%. I've been diagnosed with depression at two different points in my lifetime, and it is anything BUT a "pity party." Believe me, I didn't say anything to anyone about how depressed and worthless I felt, because guess why? I honestly didn't believe that they would GIVE A CRAP. I wasn't looking for pity. I didn't think I even deserved any help, let alone pity. I also tried to kill myself twice. Once by drowning and once by suffocation. Both times failed. And y'know what? I TOLD NO ONE. Didn't think anyone would care. There's some enlightenment for you. Real depression is anything but a damn pity party.

The thing that bugs me is that people who really, honestly want to kill themselves, usually don't say anything, and people who actually do just want attention will wave it around like a firecracker. There's a girl on another forum that I go to, who has been telling us almost every time she posts for about a year that she is going to kill herself, yet she keeps coming back each and every single day to tell us that. I stopped believing her a long time ago. However, the last time I heard about someone who really did kill themselves, their friends and family members kept saying "We didn't see it coming. They seemed fine on the oustide."

So to reiterate myself, people who truely are depressed and want to die usually don't tell anyone because they honestly feel like no one cares at all.

This just happened to my son, 4 months ago..he is 19 and his 18 year old roommate said nothing about taking his life..and then 4 months ago, my son go woke up to the gun going off, where his friend laid down beside him and pulled the trigger..His friend had said nothing of sucide, as a matter of fact 45 mins before he killed himself he had woke my son up and asked if he wanted to go out to eat at Red Lobster later on that evening??

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worryingmom

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August 1, 2009, 9:37 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: beki345

How lucky for you that you have the ability to feel "sad" for another person, but saying that her daughter is at a "Pity Party" proves that you are disingenuous and judgmental. Until you have ever experienced the pain of severe depression, don't EVER presume to understand it or call someone else suffering from it having a "Pity Party!" The pain of depression is stronger and more unbearable than anyone could ever verbally describe, which is why so many people take their own lives.

I have lived on that border more times than I can count, I'm just getting through one of my more difficult times right now. I'm fortunate to have a good counselor and caring family to get me through, even though family is the root of my problems. To hear someone like you say that I've been having a "Pity Party" makes me want to vomit. Do you think a person chooses to live in deep despair, feeling unloved and unwanted? Do you thank ANYONE wants to be unhappy and hopeless? Do you think a person would easily choose death over life? What is wrong with you? Try to understand that the pain a person feels inside is so great that death feels like a better solution to a suicidal person. The causes of such pain are very deeply rooted, so don't presume to know or understand what it takes to get to that point unless you've been raped, molested, victim of a crime, deeply traumatized by something or someone.... any number of things. Chronic pain can cause many people to not want to go on living, pain can be an unbearable thing and Dr.s cannot cure everything. Heartache can make some people reach the point of no return when matched with any of these other things, not to mention loneliness. And not ALL sisters (or brothers, family members) are there for people, wake up!

Also, just a reminder, "God" is not a person, "God" is an idea. People interpret "God" in all kinds of ways. To a person who has been left behind in every way possible, it is not always possible to look to "God" for hope. Be thankful that your life has been as fortunate as it has been, but be more understanding of others who have been dealt a far worse hand in life. Don't judge, you never know what tomorrow brings.

Saying a prayer for you right now..God Bless

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What am I to do?

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07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice