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Messages By: queenb2004

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sad
August 27, 2008, 11:10 am CDT

thank you all for the support

I just want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers an yes shirley I still have the gazellle still trying to be strong as my heart is breaking thank you all for the messages and the support stardelli esmay shirley and all thank you 
 
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August 28, 2008, 3:53 am CDT

Esmay and Karen and all

Quote From: goldienz

Keeping you  and your loved ones  in my thoughts.  

 

Today   I went to  curves  and discovered the difference between ana robic and  aero robic.    So will be exercising  differently   so that my metabolism  burns up  the   fat. 

 

Hard to drink water atm  (at the moment) here  - however am sipping  and drinking  some.

 

Wanting to  eat  lotsa choc  so  maybe the iron  needs more.  

 

Just know that everyone is  missed  by me.  Hgs.

Know I am thinking of you guys and appreciate the warmth and support I am recieving from you all and I am taking each day as it comes  one day at a time and trying to show him just how much I love him. I know I have to be strong for him so I would ask that everyone pray for strength for us both through this trial I know I feel as if my heart is breaking  and all are such a welcome support  loveand hugs to all and may God bless you
 
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September 5, 2008, 10:40 pm CDT

a quick hello to all and declutter

I wanted to stop and thank everyone for their support. My daughter has been spending this week with me so she could help me and just be with me and she has kept me so very busy. I have been blessed with a wonderful daughter she came up and  kept me so occupied I haven't had time to dwell on what is happening instead she has helped me clear the clutter in my life. We have tackled each room and as we clear out things I have collected over the years from extra buttons to  the  many when I get to it things.  She has helped me come to  realize that the things I have hung on to for years is draining me of energy she is great at telling me and you are keeping this why? The good clothes many shapes and sizes I have donated to a clohthing pantry at a church which makes me feel like I am helping someone and as the stuff disappears my feelings are becoming more clear.I have also learned it is ok to let go that just because someone gives me things doesn't mean  I have to hang on to them forever and it is ok to say no I wonder how she became so smart and she told me her mother I thank God for my daughter and the support and friendship I get from the board and just wanted to let everyone know that their caring means the world to me esmay emails me as does reen thank you all so very much for being here and caring

 
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hopeful
September 8, 2008, 8:36 pm CDT

Thank you all for the love and support

Hello I just felt I needed to stop and thank everyone again for the love and support  I have recieved here. I am going through so many emotions and fears and wondering how I will keep going when I  no longer have my husband with me where or how  does one begin again. Hospice is coming tomorrow I am praying for strength to be strong and able to deal with this,  I felt so alone but you all have reached out to me drawing a blanket of comfort around me and  I thank you all for that

 
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September 10, 2008, 6:46 pm CDT

Thank you all

Hi everybuddy  I am sitting here thinking of all the times I have come here to the board and found help and support so thank you again. My daughter had to leave and go home her father in law passed away yesterday so she is dealing with her and her husbands pain and I would ask that you pray for them in their time of sorrow. I am welcoming each day and trying to deal with all one day at a time, Tomorrow the hospice nurse comes out, I live up a goat trail since we have been hit by all the rain so I have to drive down to pick them up not  that I mind, I am just so glad they will come to us. I was just feeling kind of down so  I thought  I would let everyone know I am hanging in there at times I feel so lost and I am running through a bunch of emotions and feelings I am angry  and sad and totally confused  so I wish for the strength to get through this and be strong for him when at times I feel so helpless and weak and just want to take off running and never stop but I know I can't so I am hanging in there to the best of my ability  thank you all for listeniing

 
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September 13, 2008, 6:22 am CDT

My heart shattered

My heart shattered the day they told me during a biopsy that my husband harold  had pancreatic cancer I am trying to be strong as I care for him BUt I am so hurt and angry and life seems so unfair I had every intention of spending the rest of my life with this man we fought we loved and now I am losing him and I am feeling so helpless because there is nothing I can do but love him and watch him waste away knowing that once he is gone my life is over I  have always been his wife so what happens to me now no one to argue with no one to make up with no one to pick up after O Lord I cry why take my heart my love away from me I waited so long to find him and now he is leaving how do I go on
 
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upset
October 1, 2008, 1:55 am CDT

My heart is filled with sadness

MY heart is filled with sadness my husband  has left me behind and moved on to his place in heaven I held him as he slipped away from me and   I know I will never be the same I am so destroyed by this I wasn't ready to let him go and yet he went any way. HOw does one pick up the pieces and move on I am grieving on the inside and the out side and I just want to join him that is all I want I love him so much

 
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October 4, 2008, 4:48 pm CDT

Thank you all for the love and support

I had a beautiful service for my  dear husband. He was a veteran so we had a military service the vfw that we belong to did the honors and  His nephew who is a preacher did his eulogy. He wept a few times they escorted me to my place of honor my dear sister n law and  I made  a  picture board showing bill and I fishing and goofing off it was so beautiful to see how far we had come and they shot off the guns and played taps with a bugle it was so moving I wept. Last  night was the first night I spent alone and I felt as if he would walk in any moment and when I realized he would not be coming home I fell apart. I love him so much and it tears me apart and I feel lost without him I just want to crawl into bed and never get up  I miss him so much and I am so lost without him and I don't know how to carry on with my heart breaking

 
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October 9, 2008, 9:04 pm CDT

Hi it has been so empty

I am so trying to cope with the grief I was told to take off my wedding ring  and put it on the right hand I could not do this I feel as if any moment he will walk through that door, I go out for a few moments and rush home in case he needs me  but alas  I am needing him I want to feel his hand in mine and rest my head on his shoulder and I don't feel strong enough to go on with out him I miss him so much and everyone tells me I need to buck up but I have lost my best friend so how does one buck up while your heart is breaking in  pieces and I wonder how he ever could do this thing go away and leave me when Ineed him so much how does one go on
 
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October 10, 2008, 8:24 pm CDT

Thank you all for the love and support

I can't tell you how much it has helped having you all to talk to cause today I am trying to stay busy thanks again to all for caring I had forgotten how much support there was on this board and how much it helps having you all to talk to I don't feel so alone so have a great day and once again thanks to all
 

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