I've just been reading some of the posts to this thread. I come from a family where there have been many traumas, including suicides and attempts at suicide. I had an uncle who committed suicide many years ago and I remember thinking how does anyone have what it takes to kill themselves. I always said I was not afraid of death (I'm still not), but I was afraid the process of dying was going to take a long time and be painful and that prevented me from trying suicide many times. I have personally thought about committing suicide quite a few times over the years, even to the point of making a plan and fantasizing about what it would really feel like. I'm a Christian, though, and God and I have had several conversations about the subject of suicide and death in general, and I have so far avoided any attempts. However, I have a daughter (also a Christian) who actually did attempt suicide seven or more times over the course of fifteen or so years. Thankfully, she did not succeed. And you know, every time was just as bad for me as the time before. I was lucky enough to have emotional and financial support (insurance) throughout those years, but I have just survived the past two years without any medical insurance for anything and I pray every day that those of us who need help can find it. I have a couple of chronic illnesses that require medical monitoring and many medications, and now I have many outstanding bills and I know firsthand what it's like to have to choose between buying medicine or food. I also easily slip into heavy depressions and am considered at risk, but I stay focused on God and so far have not gotten too low to ask for help.
I just want you all to know that someone (me) is out here full of sympathy and understanding, praying every day for al of us. Thanks for listening.
