Messages By: efffy_

Children don't understand a lot about relationships, but they do understand when you hate half of them. Each parent hates the other and even a two year knows that two halves make a whole. These two went ahead and made two other humans and now they are both doing their level best to damage them. No matter how bad a parent is, children will love them. These two, and a lot of people, have no idea what love means. Neither one of them deserves children, but that is irrelevant at this point. They can learn and make a new start, if they can love more then they hate. Love is doing what is best, and a lot of times it's really hard. No matter how much you dislike your ex  you have to remember that your child loves them. You do what you have to for your kids, no matter how yucky it makes you feel. I like to have little day dreams about sharp, pointy, flaming medieval things falling from the sky onto the heads of people annoying me. It always makes me smile, and then I get on with things. If you give your evil thoughts a place in your head, it vents the pressure and it’s harmless. In other words, keep your ugly mouth shut, and smile till it kills you. Your babies are worth it.
If the father really does have porn and guns laying about then that is something she definitely has to have addressed in court. If she is playing fast and loose with a court order to stay in a certain state then he needs to have that addressed in court. They also need to have a discipline agreement. Both need to realize that they are no longer together and what happens in each other's house is none of their business, as long as it's not illegal or dangerous. Everyone has different morals and you cannot impose yours.
Custody is never static, and should always start as 50\50. It can be adjusted as needs change. I wonder if they could learn to behave if their children were ordered into foster care.  How much do they really love them?  From what I’ve seen one parent is usually less involved, and the situation resolves itself.  One day children will be adults and realize that parents are just flawed humans like they are. Hopefully they felt loved by both parents.

I always wonder what is wrong with people that need to be told the simple truth. This was definitely not the best Dr. Phil show I've ever seen. Dr. Phil was his usual charming self of course, but those people. ACK! Your husband hits your kid, do you leave? You couldn't ask me that question because all there would be is dust from my trail beating it out of there. You're stupid... buh bye... You're fat... buh bye... You're low class... buh bye... cheating, lying, gambling, abuse, degradation... buh bye buh bye buh bye. How hard is that? I understand that everyone needs help sometimes, but there are people that thrive on the drama. They like to be the centre of attention, and those people you cannot help. They don't really want the help. The husband is just icky, and the wife a drama queen. They are feeding off each other in a really disgusting and loathsome way. 

White trash?  Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Racist comment. Would you say Asian trash, or Black trash?  Trash is trash and it's pretty colourless if you ask me. Those people definitely seemed  to qualify. Colour not withstanding.

You recently learned this?  Where have you been hiding, 1954? Sex addicts. That is laughable, it is the adult version of  'it just happened.' The only time someone says that is when they have been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. It is just another response to societal inability to take responsibility for one's actions. I think whatever consenting adults do is their business. A committed consenting adult is a different story. I am sorry your husband cheated on you. He is either a scum-bucket, or he made a mistake. What you have to figure out is do you love him? Is your marriage worth saving? What part, if any, did you play in it. Your comment about people getting together for the 'unthinkable' was rather telling. Of course it is not acceptable to cheat, but when people are sexually incompatible it leads to trouble. Can you forgive him? Whatever happens after that is up to you. Do not let his actions run, dictate or ruin your life. How did you get to the point in your life where a man could take a piece of you that you cannot get back? I hope you find (found?  I am unsure of my tenses here) some righteous indignation, peace and then  some selective amnesia.

It is rather easy to read a pin number off of a debit card. There are any number of machines to do it. Magnetic strips can be read, changed, wiped whatever your heart desires. There are devices that slip into the card reader at the bank gain the information  from any card used at the location, and unless you are very knowledgeable and cautious you will never notice until your account is empty. This is all accomplished in a matter of moments.  

I think just about everyone would agree that Paul will not change. Paul doesn't think he needs to change. Why would he, he has a drama queen by his side that thrives on the theatrics.

I read a lot of stuff about checking up on your mate. Checking history, and search engines and what not. If you find anything you're married to an idiot or someone that wants to get caught. If you are to the point that you are snooping your marriage is already over.

This topic is seriously annoying. There were thriving slave markets in Africa long before Europeans ever got there, to this day slavery is alive and well in Africa. Europeans didn't invent it, but we did decide it was disgusting, immoral, and outlawed it. In most of the world women are still enslaved why isn't anyone angry about that? The first slaves in the new world were 'white' but they kept dropping dead in the heat. Every single people on this planet have taken advantage and abused some other group. We've all been slaves at one time. It is time to stop whining and pointing  fingers and get on  with it. We need to put this energy into the planet because without her none of this stuff matters. My mother always told me if you cannot say anything nice do not say anything at all. This advice encompasses the "N-word."

Actually,  I'm  Canadian. I heard one woman use the word cracker.  I've never been called a cracker.  What kind of cracker are we talking about here? Saltine, Ritz... I like those cheesy gold fish thingies. I have no frame of reference for what that term should mean. I couldn't care less what you call me. I think of myself as a Celt, or a McKraut. My heritage is rife with invasions by the Romans, Saxons, Vikings, Mongols, Normans, and the English. Those periods in time were brutal, but are now history.  Learn, improve, and move on. It is ridiculous and self serving to think that only people of European descent are racists, but it certainly is easy and popular. We need to work towards a day when we are all just humans, and that starts with letting go of the past.

Why do you allow others to define you? Europeans are called racists every day, which by the way is racist. However they sure were the first... what? I hope you don't mean that Europeans were the first slave owners or racists. When the first Europeans stepped foot on African soil there were thriving slave markets. Africans selling Africans. There is still a thriving slave trade in Africa. It is well documented by the U.N. All races, all people on this little blue marble have at one time or another been slaves or slavers. The point is I would not call you a name. I am civilized, and kind. Have you ever called anyone a hurtful name? Stupid, retarded, fat, fag, or any number of other nasty names? Have you ever looked at someone and made a decision about them based on the colour of their skin? Do you assume that all pale people are racist? If you called me a nasty name I wouldn't react at all because it would be immediately obvious to me you're not worth my time. Oh, and no one has explained cracker to me yet! Must be an American thing.