Messages By: feng456

I want some opinions of parents about arguments and abuse. When my son was around the age of 1, he witnessed some physical abuse, and arguments were going on all the time in our home(We were living with our in laws). Some people say he was too young to be affected by it...is that true? I am worried because, although he is a normal child right now, will he think that all of that is right? When he grows up, will he think that is the way people, especially husbands and wives talk to each other. He is now 28 months and there is still a few members from my in laws living with us. Even though that there is no physical abuse, he still witnesses arguments between them, almost everyday. Will he grow up to think that that is is normal behaviour? If yes, what are your opinions on what I should do? 

Worried Mom 

I was also sexually abused as a child.  I know the  major trouble signs to watch for. I have told my daughter that she has done nothing wrong. I have told her that her father has a sickness in his mind and that it had nothing to do with her, it was totally his sickness that made him do that to her, as I wanted her to be able to identify that it was ok to love daddy but that he was sick and it wasn't ok to see him any more.  I have reassured her consistantly for the past 3 years since it has happened.  She holds everything in though, and whenever I try to communicate with her about what happened she says she doesn't want to talk about it, because it embaresses her, and I don't want to push her she has been through enough. I am just so ANGRY that her trust was abused in such a horrific way, I want so badly to turn back time and stop it from happening.  I am just not coping well.  You are right about the discipline, I didn't see it that way.  I guess I just don't want her to be sad anymore.  She has been through so much and been so BRAVE! It's almost like I want to bundle her up against the world to make sure nobody hurts her again. Of course I know that is not realistic. 

YOU are joking right?  Is it your money?  Have you earned it?   

Women narrowed minded? Hummmmm... that quote didn't sound sexist or NARROW-MINDED at all..  Yeah, you have been there, at the ripe old age of 17. 

 Great job on making A's... so did I in high school, which was JUST a few years ago, I'm 22 years old.  I didn't earn any special rewards because of it.   

If you want that car, go ahead and buy it. Work for it.  I believe that you need to be taught responsibility, you are going to get out in the real world and fall flat on your face.  How dare you think that just because your mother wants to buy you a 40xxx car instead of an 85xxx car that she is a ... disrespectful and childish way of naming a person. 

How unfair?!  How unfair that they work for the money, they provide you with clothes, shoes, a bed, food, a roof over your head, simple necessities that you have, and you do nothing but complain and call your mother horrible names?  Why should they spend so much money on you just because you make straight a's.  Boo whoo... life is so unfair.  You are taking life for granted, you think that money is easy to come by and that everything should just be handed to you.  Most teenagers don't even get cars or if they do, they're under 10 grand for the majority.  

I think that your mother is being the mature one here, not that I would ever spend 40XXX on my child's car, especially when you are a younger male... there is a reason why your insurance is so high.  Lets buy a really expensive car just so I can tear it up and/or wreck it. 

I really hope that you are joking because that was the most idoitic, ridiculous post that I have EVER read. And I am not about to sugar coat anything; you are a rude little boy that needs to wake up to the world.  Stop taking life for granted. 

I really hope that you see the faults in your line of thinking because I don't want anything horrible to happen to you in your life.  Life is too short to dread such small and trivial things.  Please re-think what you are saying, you said you make straight a's.. well take some of that intellegence and use it. 

I hope they're not joking, that is a great resource to turn to.  God can help in so many ways, and praying can open your mind and help you see things that you wouldn't have thought of in the first place. 

My son will be three this month.   

I picked him up at 8:00 pm from his father's house lastnight and took him home with me, where he lives.  He came and got in my bed in the middle of the night, not so uncommon.  But, he was fidgety a lot and kept making crying sounds, on and off.  I kept asking him if he was O.K.  He would say he wanted his "bee bee", his pacifier.  I found it and gave it to him.  This continued several times through the night.  This morning, he wanted me to hold him and rub his back, which i do at nightime before he goes to sleep.  He usually doesn't do this in the morning.  He did not want me to leave him.  I had to get ready for work, and stayed with him a little bit before i had to get dressed.  When i was changing his diaper, i noticed a little rash, normal, where his diaper was around his thighs.  When i wanted to inspect the rash a little closer, he said, "no, don't look at me".  He did not want me to see his genitals.  He has never done this before.   When i asked him what was wrong last night, if he had a bad dream or did he feel bad, he said something like "that little boy got my foot" and he (my son) touched his knee.  I might be making something out of nothing and be a little to paranoid, but is this normal behavior for an almost three year old?   

My 4yr. old grandson tried to smother his baby sister and my daughter wants to know how to handle this problem .  He is the middle child (the only boy) His baby sister is 4 months old and we know he loves her because he referst toher as my emily  He has never done this before and when you ask him why he says i dont know .  My daughter is afraid to make to much of the situation fearing if he gets to much attention he will try this again but also if not enough is done he may also try this again please help us to know how to handle this situation  .He is a good boy and we want to help him fix the problem....... 

                                                                           Grammasue 

Hello to all,  

I have a sitaution which seemed to be getting under control until recently.  My parents are very important in my four year old's life.  I lived with my parents the first year my daughter was born and since we've moved out my daughter cries to stay at grandma's house EVERY time we see grandma and grandpa.  My husband and I have tried talking to her before we go to grandma's house and explain to our daughter that we will only be visiting grandma and she will not be able to stay the night.  I'm sure everyone with children knows that grandparent's will be grandparents.  A lot of times she will ask us if we could take her to visit grandma and we will take her when she behaves because it's gotten to be that EVERY time we go there she's a different kid.  She throws fits and screams and pee's and has gone to the extreme of biting.   

I don't want to make my parents feel like I'm taking there granddaughter away, and I don't want my daughter to feel as if we're taking grandma and grandpa away.  My husband and I have tried time-outs, taking things away, praising her for good behavior...what else can we do?  She's a great kid when grandma and grandpa are not around, but when they come around, she's different.  What can we do?