Messages By: gamersmom

I agree that gaming addiction is not always the result of depression. My son was not depressed when he picked up the World of Warcraft in 2004. He was a happy, smart, funny A/B student with a lot of outside interests and a TON of real life friends. He became an anxious, phobic shell of his former self within months of picking up the game and flunked out of college. The personality changes and the new psychiatric symptoms were frightening, especially since I didn't know what was causing it all until I found OLGA at www.olganon.org, where people understood and could explain to me what had happened to my son and what I can do to help him.

No one is blaming the game. We just want people to understand what is happening to themselves and their loved ones, because this issue is so new that people don't have a clue sometimes. I know I didn't for a long time.

Sheryl, I'm glad you and your husband are happy. Please don't have kids until you can devote 12 hours a day to them instead of to your game.

Many many people are completely missing the point. We KNOW that there are many people who can play casually and enjoy video games and continue to live a balanced life. Somewhere around 90% of gamers can do that. We do NOT have a problem with that. No one wants to ban video games. It would be nice if the designers could design them a little more responsibly now that it has become apparent that 10% of the population is susceptible to addiction to them. Once upon a time, heroin and morphine were marketed irresponsibly to the general public, but then the medical community realized there was a problem. The alcohol, tobacco and gambling industries have become somewhat more responsible about marketing their products, not always voluntarily. No one is saying that video games CAUSE addiction, even though some of the design features are directed at susceptible people, to get them into the game and hold them there. The person who mentioned that people shouldn't "let themselves become addicted" is being a bit unrealistic. I am just hoping that this program at least educated a lot of parents, spouses, teachers, and physicians that there is a problem that might be affecting their children, spouses, students, and patients, and that they might want to learn more about it. I WISH I had seen a program like this or found a site like www.olganon.org before I sent my son away to college. While he lived at home, I did just what everyone in these posts has said to do: Monitor usage, encourage other activities, kick him outside when he had been on too long, make sure he put his studies first, etc. etc. If I knew then what I know now, however, I would have seen the increasing difficulty he had getting off the computer as a danger sign and I would NEVER have let him go to college 2 hours away, to live in a dorm room with 24/7 high-speed internet 2 steps from his bed and classes where nobody cared if he shoed up at all. That little mistake only cost me $13,000 in wasted tuition. If Dr.Phil's program keeps even one parent from making the same mistake, it was well worth airing the show. If our doctor had seen a show like this, they might have asked our son about his gaming habits when they diagnosed him with "ADD" and gave him $150 worth of medication that did not help him. This is what we are trying to achieve. EDUCATION. If you can play responsibly and have a life, good for you, but don't make life more difficult for those who can't.

Sorry to hear about your son. If he is immersed in a game, take him out of school NOW to avoid damage to his future GPA. Do NOT fork over any more tuition money. Go to www.olganon.org and read the "I Need Help for Parents of Gamers" forum. There are few good treatment options but there is some help out there. You can post your story there and you will get some good advice.

Your son is 16, so still a minor. You have control over what happens in your house. Make a contract with him that he will play only one hour a day, and only after homework is done. The consequence of violating the contract will be loss of the computer for the rest of the school year. I guarantee that he will break the contract. Do NOT give him a second chance. If he cannot control his gaming time, you are within your rights as a parent to say "NO MORE". Yes, you can take the computer away. Be advised that he will do anything to get around that. You may have to take the modem to bed with you at night to keep him off the internet. Plenty more suggestions from parents at www.olganon.org. If you think he will "lose it" when you take the game away, be sure you have a backup around when you do it. Some kids have had to be forcibly removed from their homes when they "lost it".