Messages By: pch2008

I was about to turn off my tv tonight, when I just happened to see a commercial for this topic being discussed on tomorrow's show (oops, TODAY'S show at this point!). I had to set it for my DVR to watch.

How strongly do I feel about this topic? I registered on here just this moment, just so people could read this and hear me out. I am a biological male and always have been. I was brought up in a loving, even church going household and still love my God and hold my faith dear. Why do I say "still"? Because I have this background and "yet" I am transgender as well. If anyone would NOT be like this, it would be someone raised the way that I was!

Yes, I do think that there is the rare case when there is a child that is confused and they are not truly "TG"...however, I think most are TG if they think so. Look at it this way...yes there are cultural influences that are debatable in all this...but if somebody is so very young in particular that is like this (I watched 20/20 with Barbara Walters show a biological boy who was 3 who obviously has not been influenced by society yet subtly or not so subtly...his "brain sex" was very, very obviously female, yet he was born with male anatomy, make sense? For those people that say that God does not make mistakes, you are right....because "these people" are no more "mistakes", than you, than me, or the person (think about it) who is born with Elephant Man Disease and deformed! The very sad thing is that thinking like this keeps people back and does not open minds to even listen, let alone change. My Mom does not even know that I sometimes go out looking like the opposite gender, and she would probably literally have a heart attack if she did....why? Because people raised like I was are "not supposed to be like this". The sad irony is that I used to live right under her roof and hear her say things against TG people, and it was clear that the thought never even crossed her mind that I could have possibly been one of the very same people she talked bad about, not knowing it was her very own son that was TG. My father passed away this month, and went to his grave never even knowing this about me. Trust me...think about it....NOBODY WOULD CHOOSE THIS WILLINGLY. Does a guy wake up and "decide" to put on a skirt and wonder what it feels like? I used to throw away literally hundreds of dollars worth of wigs, skirts, jeans, etc that were my female expression manifesting itself physically in accordance to how I would be thinking and wanting to express myself at the time. This happened multiple times, feeling society pressure, and (very falsely) thinking this would stop "THIS time". Before you know it, you could die before ever living the life you should and accepting it of yourself in the first place! I stopped throwing those things away once I learned about the subject (and yes had therapy to learn that this is who I am and it does NOT go away). I embrace it now for the most part, and just know its part of my thinking process and my personality..and I am so much more happy, relaxed, etc. because of it.

Gender is a very fluid thing. It is NOT always black & white!! It is society that needs to change and understand this, not transgender people...or they will have even more depressed people and suicides on their hands than have already happened for people unsuccessfully trying to "conform" to what is "normal". Gender is so fluid that that is why there are people that go out like the opposite gender part of the time to "let out what society doesnt let them let out" for our rigid social standards and pressures, all the way to the TG people that are out like that 100% of the time.....those are usually the transsexual people where the inclination is so strong, that it is CONSTANT instead of fairly regularly.

Sorry this is so long, but I think at least this needed to be said/vented, at least by me. I am so glad that a respectable show like Dr Phil's (and more and more like them) and talking about this sometimes and less and less exposure for the horrible negative stereotype that certain other daytime shows are like. That is not what the Transgender Community on the whole is like at all!

So again, for those that talk about judging, mistakes, and the like...dont do that too much, because I am living proof that you could have a son or daughter that is TG and you dont even know it, because what you have let your children hear regularly, and at such a young age, already makes them believe they can never tell you the truth about them....and you will never truly know 100% of who your child is.....ever. Sadly, that is my background in my life and so many others with undeserved shame. Fortunately I have a wonderful network of supportive friends that actually listened when I got the courage to tell them about this pat of me, and learned about what I have been through and how I think in comparison and difference to many "normal" people! My sexual orientation is heterosexual still, like most TG, yes....but sexual orientation and sexual IDENTITY are two very, very different things.

Please watch this episode people...you are strangers to me, obviously, and I am ASKING you to watch it...TALK about it with the people you know watch the show. Heck, talk about it with your family...hint to loved ones friends and family that you saw it and open the lines of communication on this...you never know. Most people think they dont know someone like this, when the truth is they often do, but it is "hidden" so much that nobody knows and that is quite sad. ..LIke I said, my family would never guess this about me and frankly they are missing out in so many ways...we are so close, yet they still dont and never will know 100% of me after all of these years...that part of me that NEEDS to be expressing "both sides" (genders).... but I know how close minded they are, and even though I am "their blood", they have likely already made up their mind like so many others seem to do without even hearing the facts. :( If you are interested, look at websites like wikipedia, and keyword transgender. You will learn more and I sincerely thank you for reading this and possibly watching this episode. =)

OK, lets see here. I just watched the show. I check this site and :voila" a response to what I wrote earlier...."OH wow, why didnt I think of that! I can overcome this!" "Now why didnt I think of that before? I am 37 years old...surely if I keep trying to change for other people that dont focus on their OWN life, I can eventually be worthy enough! I had already tried to change for complete strangers for over two decades! But THIS time it is different! Nope, THIS time I can...nope, THIS time...Oh, shoot...now I am dead and I wasted my life trying to be someone I was not, all because of other people. As my therapist said years and years ago, I am transgender, as I already knew for decades, and this does not leave. It is something we cope with and others need to learn about.

What a sad waste of time judgmental, ignorant people are. I'm sure when THEY are at the Pearly Gates, God will surely tell them how "Christian" they were acting like this!

This response I got above on here is 1) condescending, 2) judgmental (assuming I would want to change this about me even if I COULD, which again, it is me, but it seems to go in your ears and out the other on everything I wrote, despite trying to be personal, factual and heartfelt professional even., and, of course, the always required 3) IGNORANT. Oh my gosh...since I am Christian myself (as I already said) it is amazing what a bad stereotype so many seem to be on here...do you realize you fit that stereotype to a "T"? All it does is turn off non-Christians to ever find that faith. All stubborn, judgmental, not listening (even if it was wrong, which again it is not) it is how God made me...

You insulted me 110% to equate who I am with being an alcoholic. You should really get some common sense and be ashamed of yourself. Do you even realize what you are writing? Or does your brain not interact with your typing fingers? Oh my...simply , simply amazing. I guess we all must listen to you because you sure sound like you think you know everything....even those things that you actuallly know NOTHING about.

Oh and to the even more amazing winner on this board that seemed to be alluding to me (unless there was somebody else on here that wrote about their parents not knowing about their son being TG), you take the insensitiviy prize, congratulations, I say that my father DIED this month, and all you can say is assume that we MUST have had a bad relationship with my father and mother. News flash to the ignorants to light a flashlight to your thinking....MY PARENTS WERE MARRIED OVER 50 YEARS BEFORE MY FATHER DIED THIS MONTH. There, happy? I guess not because your weak "proof" now holds no water. My family always has been amazingly close, went to church every Sunday back when I lived in their city, etc., it is only in the exception because of people just like YOU writing on here that they dont know about this one thing about me....they, too, were/are extremely religious....as in its practically the only channels and music they every listen to, etc.

Again, I love my God, too, and share the same faith with as my Mom and siblings (and my Dad, before he passed away)...but the way people are thinking like this on these boards is exactly why I thought that I couldn't possibly be a Christian if even I, growing up the way that I did, was like this. I was on the verge of SUICIDE thanks to people like you, congratulations. Is that what you want on your hands?

All of this "converting/conforming" talk TOTALLY reminds me of religious extremists in other countries that KILL people if they dont believe exactly as they do! And news flash...not everyone in the US is a Christian, so what would you say to a TG person that doesnt even have that faith? Crazy, crazy logic so many have on here.

Cant we all use the BRAIN that GOD gave us?! Sheesh, even if it was a sin, (since everyone loves to quote the Bible so much), there is also references that all sin is equal in the eyes of God (there, see? CHRISTIAN)., so I am no "worse" than you as far as sin. So get off of your high horse and "judge not lest ye be judged" (that one sure is appropriate on this board, sad to say).

This is exactly why the GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgender) acronym exists! There is a lot of similarity in the SOCIAL sense, in what we all often have to go through and the ignorance that is out there. It is doubly bad when someone is transgender (or gay) AND Christian, because often they feel like they dont belong ANYWHERE, thanks to opinions like many on here.

No disrespect to the original post at ALL, but I believe that the transgender subject and people are even less understood, let alone tolerated or accepted, than even people that are gay, and that is a pretty sad state of affairs in this day and age.