Quote From: fringoldI've heard so much about gender being a choice. I have heard so much hear about sexuality being a choice. Is breathing a choice? I bet you could stop breathing if you wanted to. How about removing you hand from an electrical socket? (try it and get back with me). Do not speak to me of choice like it is a bad thing. If I choose to breath, don't be the one to tell me how to do it or where. I don't know or trust you.
Parents. Those are the one we as children are supposed to be able to trust. After all, we are stupid. According to the majority of what I've read hear, children are incapable of learning anything until after puberty. In fact, kids are so stupid that they do not know the difference between a boy and a girl. Ah, if only I had been that stupid.
I knew the difference between a boy and a girl long before I hit puberty. Did you? Or, did you find out after you had sex (after marriage of course) and found out you were pregnant, or that the person you had sex with became pregnant. Please tell me that this is not the case. And if this is not the case, how can you have such a stupid child? Simply put, you can't.
Kids are smart. Kids are observant. Kids notice the fine details, because it is all knew to them and they want to learn. I've read, that by the age of 5 that a child develops all the morals that he or she will use for the rest of their lives. 5 years old and they can determine right from wrong. Amazing. Children are truly amazing. So, why are earth would you call them stupid? Why would you say that they don't know the difference between a boy and a girl, and why won't you listen to them when they tell you what they are.
Obviously, you didn't ask them when they were born. More than likely, the doctor told you that you had a boy or a girl and you took his educated word at face value. A newborn would not be able to tell you anyway. But how about at 6 years old? You son, of which you are so proud of, tells you, "I am going to grow up to be a mommy." And of course you have to disappoint him by telling him he can never be a mommy. He is a boy and can only be a father.
Ok, so no to the mommy thing. Got it. Now you son insist that you are wrong and that he is a girl, and his body is wrong, and ask you to "fix" it. What do you do then? Oh, it is just a phase (says the professional with no degree in human sexuality). Phases don't usually last for 5 years, but this one does, and now your son enters puberty, and is getting to be pretty ugly for a girl. Now's the time that he'll grow out of it, but he doesn't. He does whatever you want though. Your kid is smart and strong just like his parents. Yet, you find the he is now in to self destructive behavior, and that suicide is a viable option to end this pathetic life you brought in to the world. By this time, he knows how to lie to you so well, you'll believe anything he tells you. After all, you were the one that taught him how to lie. And he learned so well. Smart dead kid. You failed. You have to admit, it could happen. It has happened to others. If you made the same choices, more than likely you would have the same outcome.
I have to agree with one thing that I did read here, but was said in a negative way. No man in his right mind would want to be a woman, and no woman (right mind or not) would want to be a man. To this I say true. I as a woman would never want to be a man. Unfortunately for me, I was born with male genitalia and that has brought about much confusion. I wasn't confused, but others kept thing that I was a boy, as did my parents. The last time I saw my parents, I had just gotten back from 15 months in Iraq, in the midst of retiring from the Army after 22 years of service. They said, "I was an abomination unto the eyes of the lord, and that I would make one ugly woman." Well, I'm a proud, ugly abomination. I'm living the life that I should have been living. And no one sees me as a man anymore. And no one calls me ugly (quite the opposite). Just recently, my mom said, "You're my sweetheart now." That was such a feel good moment. I'm glad I choose to stick around to hear that. After all, I did have other options.
I want to thank you for sharing your story, I enjoyed reading the happy ending for you. By the tone of your writing, you are a happy woman and I am glad your Mom said that to you. I am also glad you stayed around and didn't take the other option. I also want to thank you for your military service for this country, and for everyones' freedom. A lot of your story was familiar to me, as some of the same things happened to me with a few differences. When I told my Mom what I was going to do, her reply was " No one is ever going to love you." Well, that turned out to not be true. I am now happily married to a wonderful woman, and not all of my family turned their backs on me. My Mom and I have a good relationship now, although it took a little while.
I think one of the reasons that family members have such a hard time with this is they don't want to let go of who they thought you were. It is like a death in the family to them. They fear the unknown, they have had no previous experience with this. I also think they are afraid of losing you, in that I mean personality. They don't realize that which you are is what you always have been and will continue to be. You will just be a better, happier version, not having to hide anything anymore. Those who stay in contact will see for themselves. I wish you the best of luck in the future and a lifetime of happiness.
