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Messages By: patty_r

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July 24, 2005, 3:19 am CDT

How do I go on...without my son?

I don't know how to go on since losing my 21 yr old son last Sept (he drowned while swimming with friends). I feel like insanity is just below the surface. And if I think about him not coming back for more than a second I will go over the edge and not be able to get back....is this normal....what's normal??? Help!!!
 
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July 24, 2005, 3:28 am CDT

New to board...wanted to say hi

Just wanted to say hi to everyone. I am new to this message board....look foward to talking to y'all.

 
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July 24, 2005, 3:49 am CDT

Living in pain

I have also been living in chronic pain, for the last 12 yrs I have been in pain. I was injured in a MVA while driving a group of co-workers to a satellite office. We were rear-ended and my neck hit the headrest and I ended up with 5 ruptured disc and a broken neck. I have a plate in my neck which has been replaced once and wires holding the rest of it together. I have been fussed from C-4 down to T-4. About 4 yrs ago I had a pain pump put in which has helped alot. I get it refilled every 28 days with dilauded. I used to get morphine but developed an allergy to it. One of the things that makes living in pain so bad is that other people can't see your pain so it is hard to understand what we go through. Add that to being fairly young and you have to live with others thinking you don't want to work instead of you can't work. Thank God my family is so great...my husband of 23 yrs is a God send. After all my surgeries and every thing we have been through I know he is not going anywhere and that is the greatest feeling in the world.

We know that I will have to have more surgery pretty soon...just found out I have 2 more bad disc. But I am going to wait as long as I can...after 7 surgeries I don't want to go back for more.

I hope the weather is good where you are and that today is a little better than yesterday for each of you.

 
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July 27, 2005, 7:59 am CDT

Thanks

Thank you all so much for your kind words. It helps to hear I just might be normal after all.

I am so sorry for your losses also. I have been working alot on a web site for my son and I visit a chat room for parents who have lost a child. I am going to a support group tomorrow night also. I hope all of these things will help me in so many ways. His web site helps so much...it is a way I can make sure the world knows my son was here!!!! Take care and thanks. God Bless.

Patty

 
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July 30, 2005, 5:12 am CDT

Hope this helps

Quote From: lacygirl01

Please help me I have a dear friend that has lost her daughter (head on collision by a drunk driver) She isnt dealing with the loss and has tried to commit suicide at least 3 times. She is a friend from the internet that I have known for over 2 years. I am in canada and she is in hawaii, so im unable to be right there with her. Please help guide me in the right direction to a site or somewhere she can talk to someone else that has dealt with the same problem.  Her daughter was 27 years old and her best friend. Thank you for responding Any suggestions would help me. Lacygirl

What your friend is going through is the WORST thing in the world...I know. My 21 yr old son drown last Sept. Like most parents I had thought I would know how bad it would be if something happened to one of my kids..it is SO much worse that I could have thought. The pain NEVER goes away and you know in your heart you will never be truly happy again.There is a  web site caller GROW....Grief Recovery Online that has chat rooms for people dealing with loss that has helped me with the loss of my son. There is another site...Memory of.com where you can make a web site for your loved one. I have made one for my son Stephen that is one of the best things for me!!!

One of the hardest things for parents is the feeling that their child will be forgotten this web site helps cause you know it will ALWAYS be there. I would also suggest she get in touch with Compassionate Friends this is a national support group that has meetings she can go to with other parents.

Trust me she is dealing with it...just NOT the right way. I would also suggest she get counseling.

Keep being there for her....she needs you alot right now. I hope this helps. God Bless.

Patty

 

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