Quote From: kakfitzHi there - Sounds pretty frustrating.
If he wont open up to you and tell you how he is feeling, he probably does not know how to articulate it. He is, after all, 6 years old. I think we have to learn to teach kids how to open up by confirming what they may be going though and giving them words to have the conversation. For example "It must be frustrating for you", or "you seem angry", "You seem excited, happy, silly, etc"
Someone once suggested to me, that instead of asking how he (my son) is doing, to make statements that allow him to talk. Here is an example:
"Mom has been pretty busy lately huh?" (he probably will say yes)
"What do you think about that?" and then just wait. (He may very well say I don't know, but at least you put it out there which, if done consistently, sends a subtle message that he can share with you)
"Well, pretty soon mom won't have to spend all this time studying and I will have more time to spend with you."
A really good book I recommend (If you are a reader) is Parenting with love and logic by Cline & Fay
dr. phil has on his website a contract that u can use with ur kids. first of all, i live with another single mother, so we help each other out. we have seven kids in our house and it used to get crazy before we used the contracts. now everything runs very smoothly even though four of the kids have adhd and three have oppositional defiant disorder. they do their chores on time and r to bed on time, plus they r all very respectful. their ages run from age 4-16. for the younger kids, i just put pictures of their favorite cartoon characters, but it works really well as long as ur consistent with it. one month i was not consistent and i could tell. u need to change it every month and have a family meeting to discuss the changes being made, but our house is very peaceful now, even though we have seven boys. hope u give it a try. just look under discipline advice on the website and look up contract on search. change it to how it fits ur family. there is also a copy of it in FAMILY FIRST. he will argue about it at first, but after the first month he will know what to expect and u will be absolutely amazed as long as u follow thru. also, i found out the hard way to not be a friend but a mother. trust me, i know it can make u feel guilty being a single mom, but after reading FAMILY FIRST i had to learn to get past that. i thank dr. phil every day!!!! GOOD LUCK!!
JEN
