Messages By: sputnik56

I've been trying to get back on here for weeks & now thanks to a little advice from an old friend, I'm back.  Of course I can't seem to get to the last message posted, but maybe I'll find my way there too.  I've missed you all very much & am glad to see so many old names/faces still around.  Hopefully I'll be able to get back here to talk to some of you!!! 

Denise 

I am in central Alabama....between Huntsville & Birmingham.  I think most folks in Alabama are related somewhere along the way!!! 

DD 

Hi Cathy.  I was on the old boards, but it's been almost a year since I posted anything.  The change really messed me up for a while.  I didn't have to change my sign-on, just my password & accept their new rules or whatever.    We have sold our house since I was on last & moved into our old family home, which needs lots of work.  Between that & the problems with the new board I just haven't taken the time to figure it all out.    Thanks for the welcome!! 

Denise 

I don't see many familiar names here tonight, but I've been gone for almost a year.   We have just come through the 13th anniversary of the death of our precious daughter.  This has been a hard journey, yet one made less difficult by people I met on this board in the past.  In the past three weeks, we have lost 2 young people in our neighborhood & that kind of thing always opens up old wounds.   I haven't yet taken time to read a lot of the new post, just wanted to say hi to everyone first.  I have survived these years without our daughter by receiving & giving help to others that are grieving the loss of loved ones.  My faith in God, my husband, family & church family are all very instrumental in my own survival.  This is not a road I wish for anyone to walk, but if you are walking it behind me, let my existence be a reassurance that you too can make it through.  The first few years after Heathers death, I wasn't sure I could go on.  I kept saying I wanted to meet someone that had buried their child & survived for any length of time.  Through group therapy I met many people that showed me it is possible to survive such a physical & emotional pain.   I am no authority on this process, just someone forced to go through it.  I'll check back, I will not always be this optimistic.  I'll help any of you I can & take all the help I can get from you all also.  (I just hope the board doesn't change again, it took forever for me to figure out how to get back on!) 

Denise 

Hi to YYC, 294ever, Tammy Jo, Lidica & all the rest.  If any of my old friends have had to change their names to get back on here, please let me know.  I think this new board was a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".  Anyway, think I'm slowly getting the hang of it!!!! 

Denise 

I have had a form of depression most of my life.  The most difficult thing I face now is the suicide death of our daughter in 1992.  Yes, 13 yrs ago, but not something one gets over.  We continue to live through her life & death continually.  Oct 8th was the anniversary, so that pain is still rather raw.  Sadly, this is the most defining point in my life.  I have a wonderful husband, 7 siblings, a large church family...all parts of my support system.  I am blessed in many ways, yet still have questions that will never be answered on this earth.  I am on Prozac & xanax and fairly steady with the meds.  No idea where I'd be without them, probably a padded cell.  In the past I have posted both here & on the "overcoming grief" board & plan to start doing both again.  Just getting my feet wet again.   

I'm going to bed now, but I'll check back tomorrow. 

Hey gal, I was doing ok until some young whippersnapper reminded me of my age!!  Haven't heard much from PJ since they moved.  Guess thats keeping them busy.   

I love living in this house, it's the first time we've really felt like we had a "home" since the house we shared with Heather burned.  Lots of healing going on here.  This is the last place I remember being an innocent child & makes it easier to find "her" again.   

So what all has changed in your life??  BTW, you can't call me.  I'm so far out in the sticks & in a valley there is no cell reception here.  I can email you my home number, but the one you have is useless unless I'm out running around in the "BIG CITY".  Hope all is well with you!!! 

Hugs, 

Denise 

Thanks for the welcome Vickie!  I was on here over a year ago & truly respect the moderators.  I think they do a great job, but not one I'd want to have.   

Denise 

young'un with no experience...a child so to speak, still wet behind the ears.  When speaking southern, forget the dictionary.  We certainly have down here!   

Word of caution for you...don't try to walk with your toes crossed!   Ya know I love ya more than my luggage! 

Denise 

We lost our daughter to suicide in 1992.  I am no expert, but am here if you want to talk.  I guess the main thing is that I am living proof that the physical & emotional pain of loosing a child can be survived.  Oct. 8th was the 13th anniversary of her death & we still & always will grieve.  As parents we always feel that we somehow failed our children, yet when you really look at the whole picture, you see that's just not true.  You were taking your son to the hospital, not neglecting him.  I can't tell you the guilt will ever be totally gone, but you must understand that Gods will is not always ours & some things are simply out of our hands.   If you have not yet received some kind of therapy, please do so.  The United Way, Compassionate Friends, various churches, all offer help & support at no charge.  You don't have to continue this journey alone.  My email is in my profile if you want to communicate directly, and I will also watch for you on this board.  Dr. Phil has a board called "overcoming grief" where you might meet some kindred soul as well.  You will be in my prayers..God bless you. 

Denise