Messages By: sputnik56

I've been reading about the dreams some of you have been having & also the problems you all are having with your teenagers.  My nightmares are of the time our daughter ended her life at the age of 15.  I wish this experience had given me some great wisdom I could pass on to you that are currently blessed with teens, but all I can say is ALWAYS make sure they know you love them & will support & stand up with them against anything that comes along.  Our Heather was a straight "A" student, never any problem with her. She was active in church, a born again Christian.  Yet a chain of events happened in her young life that was more than she could handle & she wasn't able to live up to the expectations she had of herself.  She became so disappointed with herself over this she simply ended her life.  Some kids expect entirely too much of themselves & when they can't reach that goal, they crumble.  Others are so down on themselves they don't even try anymore.  My best advice: love them unconditionally, listen to them without judgment, respect their beliefs, try to remember when you were that age, but above all, never give them reason to question your total love & acceptance of them.  When their outside world falls in on them, they need you as a safe haven in the storm.  I guess I'm rambling a bit, but it is 3:38 AM & I've slept little...thanks to dreams I won't go into.  Hope you all understand what I'm trying to say. 

Denise 

I am certainly not offended by your offer.  Some of the dreams are so horrible I dread going to sleep.  Those NEED to stop. Others are comforting, sweet memories of both Heather & Mom.   Mom's been gone for 3 years, but another part of the bad dreams is the death of my brother-in-law just months before Heathers.  He had AIDS & that is an awful death.  Anyway, you think these dream can be stopped?  Please tell me how.   

Your family is from the Tuscaloosa area, I am about 1.5 hours from Tuscaloosa.  Was the cousin you lost in AL?  I'm really sorry to hear about that.  There seems to be too much death & sadness in the world today.   

ROLL TIDE!!!    

Denise 

I've all sorts of yucky errands I need to run.  I love living in the country, but it does get old having to drive 30 miles to buy groceries!!  I'll be back later. 

Denise 

I'm just not sure how to apply it all to my situation.  The nightmares I have of Heather are definitely evil. Heather & I are born again Christians & I recognize the evil in these dreams.  I pray for them to go away, yet when I sleep I guess my faith is weak & Satan takes any chance to step in & cause problems.  Sometimes also I think deep inside that maybe I believe I deserve this torture for failing Heather.  Maybe I'm just afraid to let them go, I don't know for sure.  I know how very tired I am of the pain.  I see Heather, sitting & waiting for the right moment, gun to her head, watching herself in her mirror.  I see her finger move, the gun fires & I don't want to explain what I see after that.  Another dream I see her walking toward me in the hall, looking as she did in the hospital, swollen beyond recognition, her head bandaged with the blood spot growing...she looks at me & says "Mom, look at this mess. What will I do with my hair for the prom?"  Then there is the one of her being cut open for the organ procurement while she screams my name, telling me she's not dead, please make them stop.  There are other bad ones, but I think you get the picture here.  I still have sweet dreams about her too but not enough.  Mom died 3 yrs ago & things seem worse since then. I'm told I had turned my maternal love & caring from Heather to Mom when Heather died & now Moms gone & I'm at loose ends.  DUH!!!   

Let me share what I consider a wonderful testament of Moms legacy.  At her funeral the sound system mal-functioned at the very beginning of "Victory in Jesus".  Without a cue, all 8 of her children, and our families rose to our feet & sang that song, three verses from memory.   With arms raised in praise we thanked God for the virtuous woman we were raised by.  Ok, now I really need a super sized box of Kleenex. 

You are also right that you should visit our lovely, slow moving state!  Where are you now?  I can't imagine living anywhere but the south myself.  I drove a truck with Tom for years, have been in the 48 states, but here I am, right back where I started from.    

Denise 

Sorry about the mix up.  I actually emailed djmatt----just haven't gotten the hang of this new board down straight yet. 

Denise 

Sadly, the house we lived in with Heather burned to the ground 3 years after her death taking with it a lot of PHYSICAL momentos of her life.  My sisters & I have prayed over & dedicated the house we live in now to Gods work.  I'm not sure Satan gets any stronger this month or if the people that want to simply allow his influence to be stronger in their lives.  I DO NOT decorated nor have anything to do with halloween but I do help at the church with the program called Holyween to keep our precious young people off the street & out of harms way.  As a Christian, I'd like nothing more than for the 31st of October to simply be the last day of the month!   

Don''t remember if I told you, the house Tom & I are in now was built in the 1920's by my ancestors & has always been in our family, with the exception of one year we rented it out.  After Moms death, we knew some people trying to move back to this area to take care of older relatives, so they rented here while they built their own house & Tom & I were able to sell the house & land we had at just the right time to keep this one in the family.  I have 7 siblings, so we bought them all out.   

It's good to find a Christian friend here & please do keep us in your prayers.  I am usually much stronger than I've been lately, but Oct 8th is the anniversary of Heathers death & it hit me much harder this time than in the past.  Not sure why, just did.   

Hope your day is blessed with many joys & happiness!! 

Denise 

Still painting & getting the house the way WE want it.  A labor of love, but a labor none the less.  I'll check back later. 

Let's all try to find one thing to be happy about today!   The sun is shining, my bills are paid & I have the strength & energy to do what needs to be done today.   One other thing I am very thankful is that this new board has spell check on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Denise 

I am NOT related to G.Wallace at all.  I am not old enough to have voted for or against him, however my dad (embarassed here) voted for him.  Dad also made the mistake of telling Mom that she would vote for him.  Only time they ever had a disagreement in front of the children.  Mom reminded him that women have the right to vote, not the right to duplicate their husbands vote.  He never made that mistake again.  Personally, I think the man is/was an embarassment to the state & our history. 

I live about 2 hours north of Montgomery in a tiny town called Blountsville.  We are almost exactly between Birmingham & Huntsville.  Sounds like you've cousins all around me.  Tom was in Montgomery making a delivery today.   

Denise