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Messages By: new_matha

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January 19, 2009, 9:29 am CST

over 40 and pregnant

i am 20 years old and have a lil girl she is my only child. and my husbands dad and new wife had a baby 3 weeks before me. they are 43. and i feel that i am a better mother, i play with my daughter all day and i breast feed, i am more patiant. and there child is slow. she is almost 11 months old and cant crawl or talk or anything, so they are thinking something is wrong with her. so i dont think you should have kids over 38 if you cant handle something being wrong. but i think the big thing with me is if other women over 40 want to have kids good for them, i am just upset that my step mother in law had a baby the same time as me. i got pregnant first!!! and she had her baby premature. and she doesnt breast feed so she can drink. they both go out and take there baby and drink and drive. and it just upsets me, i have babysat before and all there child wants to do is sit infront of the t.v. and if i turn it off she screams untill its back on because thats all they do with her. they even said after having there child that they were to old to be parents.

   but what really ticks me off is they dont act like grandparents because they have there own baby and they want my daughter to call there child auntie and she is only 3 weeks older. i think that they are all a bunch of freaks. so from my experience i dont think women over 40 so have kids.

 
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January 19, 2009, 11:13 am CST

Over 40 and Pregnant

Quote From: mayaja

At 39 I discovered (on April fools day at that) that I was pregnant with my third child.  Our son was 14 and daughter going on 10 and my husband and I was totally shocked and caught off guard.  After a few days of recovering, both my husband and I decided to abort.  Less than a year later, we were pregnant again!!! 

 

For weeks after finding out that we were pregnant again I struggled with wanting to keep the baby, seeing it as a second chance to make up for the quick decision that both my husband and I made.  My husband remained stern with feeling that we were too old and not wanting to start over again.  I remember crying in the car on my way too and from work not knowing what to do.  Ultimately, since I am the major breadwinner, and would have to shoulder the financial responsibility, as well as deal with my emotions without the support of a happy father to be-at 12 weeks pregnant-I aborted for the second time in my life!

 

Its been almost two years since the first unplanned pregnacy and as I look back I REGRET  that I didn't go through with it!!  Now at 41 I'm trying to get pregnant again, and my husband (after living with me being tormented about my decision) is finally on board-But now I'm 41 instead of 39!!!!!

 

I say, its your baby and he may not always be your husband, so do what pleases you and the rest will fall into place.

 

Oh and by the way, my husband (boyfriend a the time) wanted me to abort our 15 year old son and I refused-today they are always running around to football or basketball games, etc.

 

If you already aborted-you may very well regret it and resent your husband afterwards.  If you decided to keep the baby-hang in there!!  Once he sees how happy the baby makes you-he will be ok too!  Just have faith!

i think if you abort your baby and you dont want to you are going to hate yourself and your husband sub councously your hole life. dont do something so big if you dont want to do it. if he wants you to abort your baby and you dont want to he isnt respecting your body. its your body your decision and if he doesnt like it than its too bad. it takes two people to get pregnant. so he should have gotten snipped if he didnt want anymore kids.
 
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January 20, 2009, 11:09 am CST

P.S.

oh yeah and too the mom that said children over five dont want there parents in there lives. thats bull crap!!!!! any one who says that and believes it is crappy mom! i dont believe that for one minute!! my mom through my whole life was my best friend! and i had lots of friends through school. i was very beautiful and popular! and my mom didnt let me do what ever i wanted to. she was strict. and i followed the rules. and she was  my best friend and still is. even my lil sister of 15 and my mom get along great. and my lil sister is the same way i was so maybe you should look at yourself and say hey maybe i wasnt a very good mom!
 

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