Messages By: momofbrw

Just because you did not socialize your homeschooled kid does not mean that the rest of us do not.  My child has been referred to as a "social butterfly" by strangers.  I did not even know that term was used by people who did not homeschool.  I thought it was a phrase created and used by primarily homeschoolers.  Then I learned differently.  The child will talk to anyone who talks back.

Our 27 yr old went to public school and I cannot recall one single time where he spoke to any stranger, be it a kid or an adult, when we were out and about in the real world.  I have to constantly remind our 7 yr old homeschooler that he is not supposed to just up and start a conversation with any stranger he comes in contact with. 

The 27 yr old has dinner with us at a restaurant and our conversation is always about how the 7 yr old is never shy.  The older son was not shy around kids he knew but he would never inititate conversation with anyone.  He was always social with his peers but had no clue how to interract with adults.  At 27, he is still shy around those not in his circle (peer group).  I think he feels that anyone older is superior to him.  The homeschooled son is never shy among any group and has a completely different attitude.  He talks to anybody of any age, sex or color giving no regard to if he will "fit in", if he would be accepted or even if he's rejected.  I cannot take him anywhere that he does not strike up a conversation with a stranger.  His homeschooled sister, I can already tell, will be exactly the same (she's only 2).

Maybe a little of it is genetics but all the adults in our family say they were shy too up until age 30 or older.  I think it has to do with the fact that my homeschooled kid(s) spend more time in public, out and about, than my public schooled kid.  The public/private schooled kids are staying in the same building daily, and with the same peer group.  That is why our older son has great social skills among his "group" but not with strangers and not in an unfamiliar setting.

 <<<If you have children in a room that are home schooled and some that are in public school you will see a big difference! >>> 

Yes you sure do see a big difference!  I can tell you some funny stories that will make you wonder.  I am fortunate enough to observe kids interacting on a daily basis.  I don't see the private schooled kids as much as I used to so now it's either a group of all homeschoolers or a group of all public schoolers with my two in the mix as the only homeschoolers.  (My daughter is only two so she is not schooled yet.)  I rarely ever hear inappropriate discussion coming from the homechooled kids.  I hardly ever hear *questionable* discussion from the homeschoolers really.

I earn 1/3 of the salary that I could be earning.  I choose homeschooling over the money.  I work, I homeschool, I have a toddler, I have little time to myself.  I am not homescholing for selfish reasons - obviously.

I do not try to protect my kids from life's difficulties.  How would one go about doing that?

We are not unschoolers but I did want to make a point in regards to HOW we learn...  My DD just turned 2.  She is amazing.  I do not school her in any way, shape or form except she's around when I school her brother and her Daddy often reads a nightime story.  (That is the extent of us teaching to her.)  She can answer questions that many adults couldn't.  She knows almost as many spanish words as she does english words.  She can tell you the roots of many words and even recite spelling rules... just from hearing me teach her 2nd grade brother.  I am very very strongly against pushing a child to learn ANYTHING too early. When I first started to notice her learning so fast, I was freaked out but it is teaching me a lot about learning styles and abilities.  It has some to do with parenting, it has some to do with teachings but some children are cabable of learning where neither is present (parenting or teachings).

I would like to see this lady on the Dr. Phil show.  She can explain why so many public school kids cannot read well.  All of them are taught using the same method.  The method only works with particular types of learners so the kids who don't learn the same as the majority - they get left behind.  Parents have to step up and give the kid one-on-one time or hire a tutor to teach them to read.  It's sad to think what happens to the child in the house where the parents don't take the time.  I gotta hand it to the public schools though...the majority of kids do fine with phonics, the rest fall through the cracks, the majority is what's important to the school and THEIR own test scores.

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I believe that a lot of what is wrong with the government schools is that they cannot separate children by learning style/learning needs.  The one size fits all rule must go!  If you read the senate hearing speech, you'll understand what I mean.

I know that some teachers try to do this but it's not usually by learning style and it's only for short periods of time.  There are many learning styles but if they could create even 3 groups and teach children using different approaches, different methods, different curriculum - it could make all the difference.  Because of PC BS, it's impossible!  Because teachers are not the ones choosing the curriculum, it's impossible.  Those are two big issues that I feel make all the difference with kids in the government schools.  The other third would be lack of parenting and lack of time to properly parent.  That's just MY opinion based on what I've learned in my two years of homeschooling.

If you are asking if you should take on the job of raising them, I don't know, that would be a really hard decision.  But if you are asking if you can homeschool, you may surprise yourself if you try.  Can the 10 yr old read and write or are you saying he's been "unschooled"?  As far as the parents go - it sounds like they have some real issues that you didn't mention (substance abuse perhaps?).   One has to wonder why they don't have jobs or homes, there's a reason for it and often it could have been prevented but sometimes not.  The kids should not have to be raised in such an environment. Their needs are not being met, the parents are not parenting.

As far as legal issues, some states have grandparents laws, you should check to see if yours does.

Many children thrive when they live in a real home where things are consistant and they are free and comfortable knowing what the next day brings. 

I once thought exactly that!  How could I be qualified to do the job?  That can be answered by researching curriculum and reading posts by other homeschoolers and asking questions of other homeschoolers.  Some curriculum comes on CD and you are not technically the teacher.  We have homeschooled for two years and not once have I purchased that type of curriculum but I plan to next year just to be open to all possibilities.  The only *fields* you will need to teach them are those you were supposed to learn during your own school years.  I say "supposed to" because I have found that I learned/retained very little.  As far as being able to handle it, you won’t know unless you try.  Some cannot, I will agree to that.  With others, it’s all about what they put their mind to and how devoted they are to trying.  Just keep in mind that there are hundreds of companies writing homeschool curriculum - have faith they know what they are doing.

If I arm myself with the tools I need, I can do whatever I set my mind too.  (The "tools" are lessons and research combined with trial and error).  Have that attitude, do your research, ask lots of questions and just try it.  If you are devoted, it will work.  We pick and choose curriculum from different companies based on what others say and how much *fun* it was for the child.  I only have one learning style to deal with right now so it’s easy to decide on curriculum.  The first year we tried a boxed curriculum and only used parts of it.

<<<What if your child has a higher level of learning than you thought?  What do you do?>>>   DVD’s, Co-ops and college or technical school classes.  Don’t underestimate your own learning abilities – everyone is different.  Ten years ago, you couldn’t make me believe that I would ever be teaching myself – but I do, and I enjoy learning.

I tried school for one year (private K) for my homeschooled son.  I can tell you that what I didn't like in the private school was that they need parents constantly, for one thing or another (or money).  I have more time homeschooling because I am on my schedule, not the schools. 

The involvement is actually fun, especially if you start when they are little.  As you see your little one learning new things, you get motivated and want to show them the world.  That part (motivation) comes easy.  Finding your groove is what may take a year or two.  It’s worth it!  I didn’t think I could at one time, but I am and we are all happy.  My little home-schooler hated school so he appreciates being homeschooled.  He enjoys being on the go and visiting new places – we have time!!!  No chance of enjoying that much family togetherness if he went to school.  It helps that my husband works a flex schedule and so do I. 

<<<You can't always be there 24/7 or else your child will never be able to be independent.  Everyone is their own person.  Even if you home school your child, they need to have some social interaction with people especially in their age group.  >>>

I won't answer that as it would be redundant...most of the conversation has been on the biggest-ever homeschooling MYTH - socializing.

Oh no!  I understand how unschooled kids learn...I've seen it firsthand.  We practice some unschooling-style learning in our own home but we are more classical than unschooling.  We use lots of books and have rules & discipline.

I was not clear on weather or not the kids are educated at all or if they are just behind.  If a child has not learned to read, I know of a great curriculum.  It is called "Spell to Write and Read".  It is great for any child or adult who's behind in reading.  It works for ALL learning styles.  Not a lot of curriculum can make that claim.

I somewhat agree, but this is the part of the picture you are not seeing:

The majority of kids "get it" but not all kids are alike.  They have different learning styles.  Therefore, they have different learning needs.  All needs cannot be met by the school so the curriculum that is used by the school is what works for the majority.  Often, the minority slip through cracks or just fake their way through until it finally *clicks* and they get it.

That is why a child who's been in school everyday with his peers, getting the same schooling as his peers) may not be reading on the level as his peers

I think that the president's "No Child Left Behind" is a bunch of bull.  Until they can separate the kids, they cannot properly teach to ALL kids because all kids are not the same.

I also meant to say this:  Even when a kid doesn't learn at 6, you cannot tell it later on.  Most schools use a method that leaves a kid still sounding-out words and reading very choppy-sounding at age 9 or later.  Some kids struggle to sound-out words at age 12. 

The method we use has the child reading fluidly right away.  Overall, the method we use takes longer so if you don't start until age 5, the child may not reading until age 7.