ok so i have dealt with all kinds of crap in my past and i have put it all behind me but there is one thing i just cant get over. when i was a 10-12 i think my parents would always leave my brother and i at home by ourselves. well one day we found there porno stash and we decided to watch it just out of curiosity. that lead to alot more than just watching sexual acts we ended up having sex together. this went on for a few years and i remember thinking that it was something we shouldnt do but we thought it was ok because we loved eachother and we would have sex with someone else someday so why not pracitce in the mean time. once i got a little older i realized how wrong this was and we stopped it immediately and have never talked about it. now i have this tremendous amont of shame and guilt that burdens my life every day and i dont know what to do about it. i ask God to take it away like he has takin all the other bad things in my life away but this is one thing that just wont leave my head. this is the first time i have ever talked about this and i dont think i could ever talk to someone about it face to face because i feel so replusive. i mean i did something that is so nasty and wrong, and i would never think of doing it now. i mean he is my brother for goodness sakes! this whole thing makes me feel like a child molester but im not i dont even see kids like that and i could never imagine doing something like that to a kid. another thing is i know this has to affect my brothers life too and the thought of him suffering with this guilt brings me down even more, because i do love and care about him so much (not i that sick way though) and want him to have a good life. HELP ME FIGURE OUT IF I AM MESSED UP BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL FEEL LIKE I AM!
