Messages By: slayereve

I am 23 years-old, and recently found a job through a summer youth program. I work at a food bank. This is where I met a guy I will call "Joe." Joe and I have been flirting, but the last few days it kind of wound down. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about not starting a relationship with me. He told me to give it time several weeks ago, and so I figured that I was being paranoid about the look in his eyes, because I am self-conscious. I am upset because I have been very distrustful of relationships, and then I meet "Joe," who is good looking, intelligent, and nice. I have lost a lot of respect for him, as he had none for me. Instead of talking with me privately, he had a conversation with other co-workers behind my back, then had another guy "Ben" tell me that he wasn't interested in a relationship. Am I disappointed, yes; do I respect his wishes? Definately. My problem, is that either a guy flirts, but doesn't ask me out; other guys only make comments about my body, so I avoid relationships with them (most times). I haven't dated in 2 years; my last date broke up with me the day after Valentine's Day, and I have never had an actual boyfriend, though my younger sisters and brother have had long term relationships. I am wonder, what am I doing wrong? What am I supposed to do to attract a good looking, intelligent, and nice man. What is wrong with me?

Here's the thing; I don't know if I mentioned anything about a guy in any of my other posts, but I have been under the impression that this guy was going to ask me out, cause he said that (not that guys don't lie!) he liked me and that he just got out of a bad marriage. He told me to "give it time." I have. Apparantly however, one of his buddies (and a co-worker) told me that he is seeing some hoochie in the alley. On top of that, apparently this hoochie (I will not say woman/lady/or any other related term, because anyone like that does not deserve to be called a woman or a lady), has full blown AIDS. I'm not 100% sure that the guy that told me that she has AIDS (I'm 95% sure she is---whoring--HELLO!), wasn't just saying it to get me to stay away from him no matter. But, that's not the point. I'm just pissed that I let myself be let on. I asked him a week ago if he liked me and he was like "yeah, yeah." And, at the same time I knew it. I mean he didn't pay attention to me at all when we were downstairs in the cafeteria for breakfast (I work at a food bank), and he'd avoid me during work. Also, I heard a statement toward him, regarding him in a car with a female. Now, the thing is we tend to joke around making lude remarks (I can take them, they know that when I say "that's borderline"--that means they've gone too far); however, I knew it. I was just lying to myself, hoping it was just my imagination, and that I was being too clingy (but how is 5min of hanging out clingy?). I mean he's intelligent (in a academic way), good looking, and I thought he was nice (lying to me by not telling me that he's not interested and leading me on. I mean we never went out or anything, so his decision to sleep with someone isn't cheating, obviously. What pisses me off is the lying and the leading me on. I hate myself that I'm not even worth a simple "Hey, I know I said I liked you, but I've decided to ask someone else out." I've had someone who actually had the dignity to say that, and I wasn't upset at all. Now granted I wasn't really interested in him as I was with this guy. I mean, do I really have a right to be angry, or am I just being too emotional? 

 He meant as a potential girlfriend, as he has stated that he wants to date me, and yes I get what you are saying, but he was the one that brought for the ride purposefully indicating that he wanted time, and that he wanted to go out with me. Anyways, I told his friend to tell him to come up and tell me himself (he told him that he had--liar). And technically, he is not dating her, but sleeping with a hoochie in the alley. UGH! Anyways, I want to talk to him, not to try to force him to get with me or anything, but to tell him that he disrespected me by lying and taking me for a ride. Oh well, he could have had the full package, but he decided to go out and buy the one feature value package, on the clearance rack, at a condemned building of a store going out of business. His friend, the guy that told me, thought that I'd been sleeping w. him before, but I have never seen him anywhere except work (we are both volunteers--which is why I liked him---he seemed stable, intelligent, polite, and nice), and to not sleep with him because he says that he knows (as someone who knows that person) without a doubt that this lady has full blown AIDS. I have conflicted feelings toward him. First off anger, cause he messed w. me, second being fear because he's with someone he knows has a fatal disease (unless of course it's a ploy to keep me from wanting to date him at all--which is fine). I want him to know that we can be friends and that when I come around him, he doesn't have to run the other way. If I knew than I wouldn't be trying to get with him. Anyways, thanks for the comment. :)