I firmly believe that allowing a child to think that he can disrespect his parents and others is a form of child abuse.
It is more abusive than the spankings that are not in fashion at this time. He will go on through life wondering why he is not liked, invited, married, hired and otherwise welcomed into society. Being permissive is not kind to a child at all. You have to teach a child to be respectful from the beginning; in the crib. The first lesson is sleeping through the night. That is teaching basic respect for parents. I'm sure you have never heard it referred to in that manner. You cannot wait until some magic age - 3? 4? 6? to begin socializing a child. You would train a dog better than that.
We owe children respect, too. I definitely do not mean giving them everything 'I didn't have' and allowing them to dictate when, where, what and how life goes on around him. We owe them the social skills to develop into useful, happy people. 'Tough love' needs to happen from the start. It's very hard when a 6 year old is laying in the floor at the grocery store kicking and screaming or a teenager who's unsocialized behavior has landed him in jail or worse.
And, Dr. Phil, a spanking never hurts unless it is never given. I spanked each of my very active sons very seldom and all they needed for the most part was a firm reminder and/or time out. They never said, 'I hate you' or thru tantrums after they passed the terrible 2's. Bottom line they have to know that you mean what you say the first time you say it. My boys are grown now and I have asked each one if there is something that happened in the past that we need to talk about and maybe I need to apologize for. (Did I get that from your show or Oprah? :) ) They never mentioned spanking only curfews and onions in my cooking. They are good men of whom I am very proud..
