Messages By: bear_ta

I think this marriage should be saved at all cost. It would be tragic to inflict these two on two other innocent people....

Just kidding, from what we've seen there is no hope for these two. Neither one is a prize they are just as bad as each other, they only use different weapons. They are both abusive, nasty, selfish, and not very bright. As for custody of the kids, neither one deserves them; they are equally bad. I'm sure once they separate and the emotion and tensions are gone they will be better able to parent. Happy people make better parents.

The kids need to be taught that they can't choose their parents, and that parents are human, and some times parents are selfish and stupid, and it's not their fault.

If these two truly love their kids they will stop abusing each other. No nit picking, no saying bad things, no making the children into spies. If you really understand the meaning of unconditional love you do what is best for the one(s) you love, and sometimes that means biting your tongue till you bleed out.

My story isn't even the 100th long distance and/or online romance working out that I've heard of.  When I first went online in 1997 I happened upon a chat room with a whole bunch of normal nice people from all over the world. We were a pretty small group. Most of us have met at least 1 person from the room. I also met my best friend in the room and all these years later he's godfather to my children, and I love him to pieces. I felt no danger meeting him either, which I did alone and in a hotel. I had known him for years, talked to his kids, his wife and other online friends we had in common. It seems all the stories I've heard about are some silly woman running off after talking to someone online for a month or whatever. I don't think you  really read what I wrote or you could have answered your own questions.

You asked:

And how does someone "fall in love" with instant messages on a computer within 15 minutes?

I said:

We still can't explain it... we've stopped trying.

...did you ever think it was a security and safety risk to give out your ID numbers, driver's license, tax file number, license plate number, etc?

I said:

Total honesty is a must. Long before we ever "met" I had talked to his friends, family and co-workers.

You asked:

What if this guy turned out to be a female teenager, or a pedophile?

I said:

Total honesty is a must. Long before we ever "met" I had talked to his friends, family and co-workers.

It was nothing he said it just was. We don't know . He says it was an answer to a prayer. I don't believe in that sort of thing. (Big shoulder shrug) All I can tell you is the truth. That is what happened. I knew, he knew, we were right.

As for being a nut or a pedophile people meet those in high school and marry them all the time. Priests, teachers, lawyers, soldiers, ditch diggers, doctors... pedophiles fool you by walking upright.... sorta like humans.

If he was anything other then what he said he was there was a massive Australian conspiracy to fool me. It took us about a month to admit we were in love, and by that time I'd spent many hours on the phone with him. All the exchange of information, pictures and that stuff came later. The love part hit us like a brick and we thought we were nuts too at first.

Never be sorry to ask a question. I put all this out there. I am light hearted because I'm happy. It was smoke and mirrors and magic, and it worked. Still amazes the crap outta me too.

I'm afraid there are a lot of careless, desperate, lonely, not so bright people with access to computers. It's very disturbing when people are unable to take care of themselves.

No one online has ever asked me for money. They have asked what I was wearing and that got the same response that asking me for money would get... after picking myself off the floor from laughing it would be a quick and firm F off.  

Why is it that no one can take responsibility for their lives? It's always someone else's fault. Poor wee dears they are so vulnerable.

 I feel sorry for people of low intelligence that get caught up in lies, but most of these women are supposedly of "normal" intelligence. Get a back bone, get a life, grow up, and stop whining. 

Am I judging them? I guess I am. They need to be held responsible. They need to smarten up. You help no one by shielding them from the truth. I find it amazing that people in this day and information age need to have simple facts of life revealed to them, like they are some sort of secret or mystery or aberration.

I want to see one person stand up and say, Lord I was dumb! What was I thinking? DUH!  I respect that. Because none of us are perfect. But sniveling, whimpering and shivering just tick me off, and it solves nothing. Resolve to do better. Learn. That all sounds so hard. I do have sympathy for pain. I don't think scammed people are bad people, but patting them on the head just makes them think they have no part in bad decisions.

Alcoholism is a primary, chronic disease with genetic, psychological, and environmental factors influencing its development and manifestations. This disease is often progressive and fatal. It is characterized by continuous or periodic: impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking, most notably denial.

Disease means an involuntary disability. It represents the sum of abnormal phenomena displayed by a group of individuals. These phenomena are associated with a specific common set of characteristics by which these individuals differ from the norm and which places them at a disadvantage.

Primary refers to the nature of alcoholism as a disease entity, in addition to and separate from other path-physiologic states that may be associated with it. Primary suggests that alcoholism, as an addiction, is not a symptom of an underlying disease state. Primary also implies that when this disease coexists with other conditions, therapies applied to them are ineffective until the alcoholism is dealt with.

Impaired control means inability to limit alcohol use or consistently limit, on any drinking occasions, the duration of the episode, the quantity consumed, and/or the behavioral consequences of drinking.

We have to decide once and for all whether or not alcoholics have a disease or if they are evil. Seems to me if someone is an alcoholic and they are incapable of caring for themselves we should be able to help them, whether they like it or not, and thereby protect society, or we just shoot them. We shouldn't blame people for things beyond their control.

     I mean really can you honestly say you "like" your spouse every hour of every day---

                Ya Huh... Yep Yep Yep... Totally adore the man 24/7

He's thoughtful, sweet, sexy, smart and he has an Aussie accent.... don't get no better then that.

             ------------->insert grin, giggle and eyebrow wiggle here <-----------                                 

There will come a time when people will have to decide what is more important. Safety for the majority or individual freedoms. If someone was on a busy highway overpass about to jump into traffic would you just walk by or would you try to help? Would you try and stop traffic down below? Would you do it every day? Addiction is suicide. Something has got to give. Interventions might work with people that have admitted they have a problem, but for millions that epiphany never comes.

That all being said you missed the point. The point was perception. We (in the general societal sense) have to decide what we believe, and then get together and save some people.

We fully realise that your intent wasn't to elicit humour. Your post was so over the top that it made us just howl with laughter. I just wrote a huge post for this. I've deleted it because I  know there is no point. We look at the world differently. I'm sorry you've been so hurt. There are a lot of nasty people out there. They come in every colour every size. Life is just too short for that sort of hostility. You have a great day, and be happy.