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Messages By: bear_ta

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naughty
October 20, 2006, 5:51 pm PDT

YEP I DO!

I am a total believer in true love, and love at first sight. It happened to me and my husband. It's like finally surfacing for air. I think people that don't believe are the ones that have never experienced it. A lot of people think they have been in love, but soon find out they haven't.

 
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October 21, 2006, 3:18 pm PDT

True Love

Quote From: roxy_belle

Well, you and I disagreed about a different issue on a different board, but we are in total agreement here.  I have true love with my husband of 13 years.  We hold hands all the time, when we lie down to watch TV, I lie on his chest and he snuggles me up - I could give so many examples of how intimately close we are, these are only a couple.  There is no person in this world I would rather spend time with.  We both look forward to the day he retires from work and we can be together 24/7.  Simply, he has replaced my mom as my best friend.  We adore, love, respect and desire each other.  Love at first sight?  Maybe so.  My husband I met on June 12th and married on Oct 1st of 1993.  We knew it was right.  I had been engaged twice before, long term relationships, but I couldn't get to the altar, because it never felt quite right.  When it did, I knew it immediately and said "I do" 3 1/2 months later.  :)   We made the right choice and I am confident we will grow old together.  We don't and won't have it easy - we have 5 kids to raise (yes they were all planned lol), but together we will make it.  I don't know if the terms 'soul mate' and 'true love' are actually real and legit, but I personally think my husband and I have found both.  :)  Roxy

Fabulous Roxy!

I think it's one of those things that either 'is' or 'isn't.' 

We knew it in 15 minutes.

We were right.

I've asked a few older people that are still together and still in love and the say the same thing. They just knew, and they knew right away, and 40, 50, 75 years later they were right.

It's a wonderful mystery.

Enjoy every second.

 
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October 21, 2006, 3:58 pm PDT

Cheated On

Quote From: tinysgrrl

     well i have been married for 9 years to what i thought was a wonderful man...we had our share of problems usually money but i thought who doesn't. Last may we were sitting in our living room and the kids were in bed and he just says i'm leaving and he did. We have 4 kids so we kept some contact...in August we started "dating" he said he didn't want to come home until he knew he could support us and i was ok with that. Then he said he got a call from a oil company to go for training in alberta to work on the rigs and he will be making all this money and our lives are gonna be so much better. I was like that is great he worked long enough to buy a car and insure it and borrowed $200 from my mom to get there. He says he blew a tire and was late for his first day and they were not happy but he made it...I get the cell phone bill and see that he never made it to where he was supposed to be and that he had been in contact with our old babysitter, something I had said when we got back together was a deal breaker. I confronted him with this and he said that while we were seperated and she had come to B.C.  they had gotten drunk and had sex and now she was saying she was pregnant so he had to deal with that. He told me she wasn't pregnant and he didn't want anything to do with her he only wanted to be with me and our kids.  None of this felt right. My gut told me there was more to it especially when i called her cell and her number was changed so I broke into his email...yeah there was pictures and emails from a couple years back of her and him having sex in my bed, in my moms house while she was away, and numourus other pictures. I was devastated.

Now about the sitter, she started babysitting for us when she was 14 years old. When she was 16 she got  kicked out of her house (well thats what i was told) and she wanted to move out of province with us. I talked my husband into letting her come with us. Little did I know it was his idea for her to come to me. So now he had his wife and mistress in the same house. Good deal for him I guess.
He must of told her that I broke into his email because she emailed a picture to him and i had her new phone number, with the area code for where he was supposed to be. so I started texting her.
I asked her when this started and she said like 2 days after they met she was 14 and he was 24. Now when we moved to B.C. and she moved out he would always run to her rescue and i repeatly asked him if he was having sex with her (not in those words of course) He always said she is like one of our kids and I feel like we need to help her. MY thought on this now is if that is what you do to someone  who is like one of our kids what are you gonna do to our girls when they get older?
I have also found emails that talk about how his cousin who was 13 at the time watched as the sitter gave him head and how he thought his cousin had such a smoking hot body. It makes me nausous just thinking about it.

So through these emails I found out all this and the fact that he wasn't going to work on the rigs but was planning on starting a new life with her while having me here.  I'm furious that he came back and disrupted our lives again if he was planning on starting a life with her why not just leave me alone. We were healing from him leaving the first time and now we are starting from square one again. Oh yeah and now i'm dealing with the fact that I probably have a std because he is not the only one she has slept with. Man this is so something for Jerry Springer.
Well at least I have my kids and the knowledge that he doesn't have the balls to show his face around here again and there is no way I am sending my kids out of province to see him, he hasn't even had the balls to call and talk to the kids. Is it wrong for me not to want to let my kids alone with this obviously sick man?

That was a rhetorical stupid question I hope.

 
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confused
October 21, 2006, 4:05 pm PDT

Are you kidding?

Quote From: margaret95351

MY HUSBAND HAS CHEATED PLENTY OF TIMES, YET WE SEPARATE AND MONTHS LATER START OVER , SO DOES HE ASK ME TO TAKE A LIE DETECTOE TEST OR OUR MARRIAGE WONT WORK?

I have been married for five years and we have been together a total of 10 years. We have two kids; a boy and our youngest is a girl. We have had our share of bad times. His biggest problem is his possesvie ways, jealousy, and his cheating. He has slept with two of my so called friends, and others. We stopped sleeping in the same room for about five months, but we still had sex from time to time. I remember him getting off work and coming home to take a shower then leave to the gym for at least 2-3 hours. We never talked or got in the same vehicle together.  I finally got the curage to leave, but I was hoping that he would basically kiss my ass so that I would stay. His idea of the seperation was going to be a good way to find out what he wanted, and made him happy. He also needed to change his atitude toward me and change the unstable comfort zone behavior as a husband. So, he basically  left me, even though I moved out on my own. My life have became empty, and I was really alone with no job, no money, no house, and no friends or family since he either scared them off or skrewed them. I moved out a week before our Anniversery which is the day of his Birthday too. My sister in law said my husband dropped off our kids because he was going out of town with a girl. So, I went to get my kids back, but first I stopped at our old house to get my kids clothes. I found a bra in my dresser next to my side of the bed, and a couple of "thinking about you" cards from "HILDA". Let me say that I turned that place inside out and burned every piece of clothing he owned. A few months pasted by and I was doing very good. I had my old job back and I was sane again. Happy to meet new friends and go out. My husband and I would argue, but only because he did not give me money for the kids day care, or food, and not even for their school clothes. He would pick them up with hicky's on his neck, but I got use to it. The three months have passed and he calls to leave a message to say that his friend had died, so he wants to be there for them, therefore he was unable to get the kids that weekend. So, I did not hear from him for almost a week and I called his job and talked to his friend. His friend told me about "HILDA" and that was whose funeral he went to. It turned out that her kids father shot her serveral times in the face and then turned it on him self. Well it has been about 8 months since then and he has kissed his way back in my life again. One catch, he wants me to take a lie detector test to see if I slepted with anyone during our seperation. Since he found my calender with guy's phone numbers on the back, he has called all of them and does not believe me. He said he can not live knowing that I have slept with any one else. Since I met him  I have never slepted with anyone. I have came close, but I need help with my decision and I have little time left to do so. Oh, also I will tell you that I had to take a drug test before we got married too. It was naturaly negative. At that time he was going to a drug program. So, see I think it is all in his head and I am paying double for his mistakes if I give him what he wants. I also feel like I should just take it to prove to him once again, and then walk away from him. What should I do? I either lose my husband or my beliefs and dignity and pride and self respect.

 

               I am 27 years old. HELP WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS OR YOUR OWN OPINION. PLEASE!!

 

                    Margaret Perez

                

Suggestions:

Move.

Dye your hair.

Run.

Learn french and go to Paris.

Consider lesbianism.

Change your name.

Join a cult.

Electric shock therapy.

 

Opinion:

Love doesn't hurt it heals.

 
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chillin'
November 5, 2006, 1:59 pm PST

11/03 Shocking Accusations

I don't like to make a judgment until I have proof, but something is terribly wrong there. The father gives me a bad feeling. The mother doesn't seem to be making anything better either. The child is suffering, and that has got to stop.

As for what I've read on this board about fathers and grandfathers changing diapers and such.. My father changed mine, my cousins and my children, as does my husband. It's sick and sad that it's suspect nowadays. Little ones with rashes need lots of cream sometimes to be comfortable, and if there is a man about that is suspect or can't be trusted he shouldn't be around... period!  I had a great hands on dad and granddad, and I have a great husband.

I'm really interested to see what the lie detector reveals. I have a sinking feeling though.

 
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worried
November 6, 2006, 11:48 am PST

Unfortunate

Quote From: kathybing

But you don't.  All of you folks who are saying you would never let your child go with a molesting father, just try preventing the court-ordered visitations.  You will find yourself arrested and full custody given to the molestor.

You are right. There is a lot of bravado on this site about this topic, but the simple truth is there is a process, and you must acquiesce to that process, or find yourself the one in trouble with the law.

 
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naughty
November 6, 2006, 5:46 pm PST

Lightbulb

I just had a thought...  Next time anyone is asked for an address by one of these scammers why don't you give the local police department addy or the F.B.I., or whatever crime unit appeals to you.
 
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giddy
November 9, 2006, 6:01 am PST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: chiennoir

 You got it.  Funny how she picks out the Bible verses that fit what SHE wants, and ignores all the other ones.  Yet another sign of  immaturity.

That's a chein sorta tan not a chein noir... LOL  Cute doggy pic.

 
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November 9, 2006, 7:39 am PST

15 minutes

Quote From: jesusislord

well   its takes a long time to get to know about a person. when dateing.  a few months is too soon to talk about getting married!!    as for age,  it all depends.  age  don't really matter, but you can go too far with the age thing.  if they are old enough to be your dad,mom,grandma,grandpa. then thats way to old!  if they are young enough to be your kid.  then thats way too young.  
I knew I loved my husband and would spend the rest of my life with him in 15 mins. Sometimes it just happens, and by the way.. he's 7 years older then me.
 
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happy
November 9, 2006, 7:45 am PST

G`Day

Quote From: shanelleno5

I wonder who the 'they' is in this statement?  My husband went off with a girl at least 20 years his junior.  She thinks he's wealthy.  He does have a high profile job, and I think money and position were very attractive to this young lady.  My husband and his friends all seemed to have younger girlfriends lurking in the background, and he used to go away on 'business trips' to South East Asia, and I learned that he was taking her away on expensive holidays and spending big money on her.  When I found out what was going on, I walked away with our two sons.  I couldn't believe that, when I told my ex-husband I was filing for divorce, he actually had tears in his eyes.  I think, but I'm not sure, that he and she have a fairly volatile relationship and I don't think that she likes him being around our boys very much.  I pity her because if you want to mess about with a married man you have to accept what comes with that situation.  I don't really think that 'age is just a number' - I think a lot of younger women, at least in Australia, who hook up with older men are interested only in dollars and assets and prestige.  I think that the person in this forum who said that these types of relationships are based on a sexual exchange is correct.  Good luck to those who engage in these types of relationships, I say, and even if I sound resentful, I have to say that I pity these couples because their situations sound really empty to me. 

Apparently they are content with empty. I don't think people like that spend a single second worrying about what others think of them. Then again neither do I.
 

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