Messages By: bear_ta

The story hasn't aired yet, but I can sort of relate to Joyce's situation as described in the blurb about the show. Maybe something happened in the first Christmas of her marriage that turned her off to it? I was married to a man who berated me mercilessly for the money I spent (which was well within our ability to afford) on Christmas ornaments and a tree for our first Christmas. He insisted Christmas was "just another day" and often refused to buy presents and only joined in the festivities when seriously prodded to do so. I did Christmas every year for the kids, but his attitude permanently ruined the holiday for me. After 13 years, I divorced him (20 years ago) but to this day, I cannot summon up the joy I had in Christmas that first year we were married.

Maybe something happened in Joyce's first married Christmas that permanently spoiled it for her?

Okay, this seems petty but I NEED advice....

My BIL likes to come across the country ( he's in BC and I am on the East Coast of Canada), and surprise us.

I HATE SURPRISE VISITORS, I truly do, and I have explained this to him, calmly and rationaly, and so has my husband, but he dosen't get it.

Everyone has told me, " he knows it bothers you, that's why he does it ."

So can someone explain what kind of sick plesure it give a person to do this ?  Even AFTER it has been explained  ?  He figures the rest don't mind, so I have to get over it,ARGHHH.

He also likes to tell us how are kids should be raised, church ( my husband and I are agnostic at best), school ( one is a straight A student the other dyslexic but pulling B's), and everything else, he's childless.

I DREAD the holidays because of him, I know I shouldn't let him have that power over me, but it really hurts to know he has ZERO respect for me or my feelings.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I don't celabrate this holiday at all i agree with her 100%.  Where is the respect for those who don't  care abouth this holiday.   Noybody really celeabrates the holiday for the right reasons anymore so whats the BIG DEAL!!!!!

I must say that people have whacked the flying crap out of the meaning of Christmas, and I truly mean that in a sincere way.  Purplepenny is right, jesusislord is right, and so are the rest of us! Christmas means what it will to each of us individually; it is either a holy season for some, a time to splurge for others, and possibly a time for tradition for someone else- a beautiful time to just  do what the heck you will and feel good about whatever - yourself, your country, your family, your children, etc, etc, et FREAKING cetera!!  Although I'M ESTATIC (as you can see), there are some people (say, JOYCE) who want to be a cry baby Scrooge no matter what you try and do, but don't let those humbugs or the Herbie the Elf in your life get you down! That's what painfully heavy snowballs are for - target practice (or you can spike the egg nog, that'll get Jacob Marley's chains to rattle)! I love you all on this annoyingly beige message board, and I wish you all the goodies you could ever get in your stocking this year!  Merry - Chrihannahkwanza!

I disagree.

Much progress has been made over the years...eye opening experiences...it is called growth.

But...by the same token....non believers need to just do their own thing and refuse to engage if that is their choice.  No one 'MAKES'' anyone become involved.

I didn't watch the sisters, but the MOM....she was a MOTHER...she accepted a gift that she did not like there fore she reverted to a child like trantrum disregarding her entire family's feelings, she is not a leader, she is not a mentore, she is an example of a damaged or selfish individual that has no ability to reason and rise above her circumstance a quarter of a decade ago.

I find her to be quite selfish and strange.  Dr. Phil was not trying to 'convert'her....he was trying to descrooge her and she willingly showed up.

BUT...this IS America...In God we Trust is on our money....in the beginning that IS why the settlers came here.  Now....it is  being abused and manipulated and you want to say we are not moving away from ''norms''...come on.  Inform yourself.