Messages By: rhondayes

What a wonderful post. 

Your riches were not in Prada, but in family. You had the richest upbringing in the world: acceptance wrapped in love. 

Let him go, honey. 

You are young and absolutely free to enjoy your life without having to be true to some out of state boyfriend. 
  

PLEASE DO NOT GET PREGNANT.  

YOU WILL BE TRAPPED FOREVER AND HE WILL STILL NOT BE THERE FOR YOU. 

He is young and is doing what he is suppose to do; and that is run around and play the field. God bless him. I applaud him. I do not applaud his emotional abuse of you by holding on to you while he is enjoying his freedom and life. 

Be with him when you see him, if you want, and without strings attached. Otherwise, go out date, have fun, enjoy this time of your life. I am here to tell you that when you leave school you are going to understand that you should have enjoyed this moment in time, because it will never come back again. 

Stop wasting time, thought, and emotion on this boy. 

You are young, probably beautiful, and guys are panting to be with you. Enjoy your time at college. Be responsible, protect yourself, and enjoy dating without stress. 

Why are you wasting energy and emotion on questioning this guy about his fidelity and behavior. Leave Him Alone And Worry About Your Own Happiness. 

Take Your Power Back. 

Drop him as a boyfriend.  

YOU DO NOT NEED A BOYFRIEND IN COLLEGE.  

(Don't stress over no dude) 

Dear John this fellow and get on with the business of education, partying responsibly with your friends, and enjoying college without the restraints of some long distance relationship with a boy who is doing what he is suppose to do at this time in his life. 

Honey, THIS TIME IS ALL ABOUT YOU! 

FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY-FREE! 

**************************************************************** 

** I have two college graduated daughters so I must add this, in enjoying the college experience, unencumbered, beware that binge drinking kills: drink responsibly. KNOW YOUR LIMITS OR DON'T DRINK AT ALL. 

Do not drink and drive -- One better do not get into a car with a driver who has had a drink. THIS IS AN UNBREAKABLE RULE. I do not care that he/she is capable of walking a straight line. He/She should not have had a drink knowing that they would be driving. CALL A CAB, CALL A FRIEND. 

NO DRUGS: Self-explanatory. No Exceptions. NO DRUGS. 

DON'T DO IT, NO MATTER WHAT! NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON OR EXCUSE. JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!!!   PROTECT YOURSELF AND PROTECT HIM FROM AN UGLY EXPERIENCE AND FUTURE! Don't cry foul if you accompany some boy/man to his dorm room/hotel room at 2am. It is not rape. Don't destroy his life crying rape, when you are smart enough to know that the implication in a man's mind is that he is "going to get him some..." You don't take a man to the "sticking" point and then decide that you have changed your mind. Emotionally immature men/boys are incapable of stopping once they have your initial consent. Protect yourself by not accompanying him to his room, otherwise do not cry foul. You knew and we knew what would happen and you do not have the right to ruin that person's life because you changed your mind. 

Also, be aware of the fact that cameras are everywhere; know your environment and realize that if you are not careful your sexual act could be viewed on the internet the next day. 

By the way, it is possible to have a great time without alcohol, sex, and drugs. Good conversation, joking, dancing, and laughing with your friends and dates and just loving life and youth will make you fly. 

ATTEND ALL CLASSES!   EDUCATION IS KEY TO A VERY SUCCESSFUL LIFE! 

My daughters are safely and happily graduated from university AND without incidence.  

ENJOY YOUR LIFE WITHOUT STRINGS RESPONSIBLY.  

If you are willing to turn a blind eye to what he is doing and doing to you, at least do this: 

First make a list, decide how much money you are going to need to start anew, and start saving money. DO NOT TOUCH THIS MONEY NO MATTER WHAT.  

SAVE SAVE SAVE!  

MONEY IS POWER! 

Once you have enough money to start over, make a decision: Stay or leave! 

If you decide to remain in the marriage, continue to save save save. The next time if anything comes up AND you want to leave you have the means. No excuses. 

Good Luck! 

Tell Her You Love Her. 

Tell Her You Will Always Be Here For Her. 

Let Her Know That She Can Always Depend On You And Your Belief In Her. 

Explain to her that you are tired of listening to an abuse that she is unwilling to change. Tell her not to tell you about the next girl he cheats on her with. Let her know that it is unresolvable, because she is the only one who can change the situation. However, you are tired of hearing about that which she is unable or unwilling to change. Don't forget to remind her that you are there for her and you love her unconditionally. 

Every time she wants to discuss his cheating tell her firmly that as long as she is incapable of taking back her power, her self-respect, and her dignity this is an experience you are willing to do without. It is not your road to travel, it is hers until she realizes that she deserves more than better, because she is a princess and should be protected from harm and hurt. 

Change the subject after giving her a hug and telling her you care and love her. 

This is going to drive her crazy and consume her, because you are not willing to listen to her self-abuse and acceptance of some idiot emotionally using and abusing her. 

When she is ready to leave him for good, validate her decision by letting her know that you are proud of her then go out and celebrate with her. 

Don't bitch, don't complain, don't enable, don't listen, JUST LOVE HER AND BE THERE FOR HER. 

I was and you're welcome. 

Do not touch your saved money for anything in this world and definitely not for this next move. That money is your lifeline. Continue to save, no excuses. 

You can not change him. Don't kill the messenger. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ANOTHER WOMAN'S CHILD, HIS FOUNDATION IS SET. 

Whatever! Believe what you want. Continue to save save save for the sake of your children. 

Yes You Do That Is Why You Are Crying. 

Kick his ass to the curb. 

You don't love him, Hell you don't love yourself. 

Take Your Power Back. 

Amen! 

The women and men on this board who are waiting for their mates to change or apologize are to be ignored. They enjoy being victims and they enjoy being pitied. 

Take back your power people. Enough is enough. 

People cheat. You must decide if you can live with their cheating. If you can not, leave; or, if you are willing to work it out, then please do not whine when they break their word and do it again. You made it alright when you forgave them. It was all over but the shouting. YOU want to hold on until they apologize and realize that you are a great person for forgiving them. You are all to be ignored for the willing doormats you are. 

I was cheated on and I thought that I would die, but I am always true to myself. 

I left. I cried. Living hurt. Breathing hurt. 

I walked through the pain. 

He wanted to explain to me how it happened so that we could cry together and get on with our lives. His words. He, also, said that I should not allow some young whore to break up our marriage. I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind. He put all of the blame on some young girl and said to me that it was not his fault, but that we should grow more loving together; that we would be better for it. 

I gave him a hug and waited for him to go to sleep before I left. 

When I had gotten together with him, but before we married he asked me what I required of him. He said to me to think long and hard about what I knew I would not accept, let him know, and he would let me know if he could give me what I wanted. 

The only thing I told him I would not tolerate would be infidelity. No other restrictions. I just wanted to love him, freely, safely, and completely. I explained to him that I was incapable of forgiveness where sexual and emotional intimacy was shared with a third party. I told him I would be his biggest fan and heart protector. 

When I shared my requirements with him, he said to me that it was easily given.  We loved each other and he cheated. He told me. He asked me to forgive him and then opened his arms so that we could cry together and move on. People, I looked at him as though he had grown a second head. 

Do you know because of my kindness, my loving, and my acceptance of all of his bullsh## he really believed that I would forgive him the one thing I warned him about. 

I hugged him. I put into that hug the last of the love I knew that I would ever be able to give to him  again. I then waited for him to go to sleep. 

I knew that he was incapable of letting go so I went to court, got an order of protection, and hid for over a year while he raged and promised all that listened that he was going to kill me for the unforgiving bitch that I am. 

I did warn him. 

I hurt and I have suffered and I survived. 

You do not forgive infidelity or abuse of any kind. Do not wait around for them to apologize, it is false at best. They are incapable of giving you the kind of comfort you require because you are a bottomless pit of want and desire. You can not be satisfied with understanding. You will not gain any peace. 

I learned later that he had been cheating on me the entire time that we were together and had grown tired of my 100% trust in him. He told me because he thought that he would be able to convince me to forgive him, because I had been so accepting of all of his other flaws. He could not accept that I would not forgive him for infidelity. He took kindness and adoration for a weakness. Poor fool. 

The only thing worst than wasting 2 years is wasting to 2 years and a day:  Go Phil! 

You are mistaken. He is cheating. He has cheated. He is currently cheating. You know it. You feel it. You will not accept it. Don't be angry with him for doing exactly what you have allowed him to do, be angry with yourself.  

Oh and leave him alone. You have allowed this disrespect to go on, so leave him alone about what he is doing, because you already know. 

You, also, have no right to get angry with the women calling your house. You have taught them how to treat you as well. 

Please be a good victim and be quiet.