Messages By: paris38

It sounds like we are in the similar situation.  We are now at the point where have stopped speaking with the toxic in-laws.  Both the emotional and verbal abuse had to stop.  When we didn't answer the phone, they sent letters, or even worse, turned thier own daughter and her husband "against us".  Dramatic sounding I know, but not sure how else to discribe it. 

Love my husband SO MUCH, and blessed to have him in my life and support me.  We have thought about moving, and maybe that to will help even more. 

It feels like we are making the right choice.  Glad it has worked for you, and I can only hope my husbands siblings see that life is so much easier without the chaos too. 

There is a program RSA (Redirecting Sexual Agressiveness) that is offered to some cases that seem to have the potential for being productive, non-threatening citizens.  They are very strict and have a successful program.  I personally know a man who went to prison for exposing himself to children of both sexes and for fondling female children.  He is one of the most spiritual, kindest, intelligent, most sensitive people I have ever met.  He knows he has this addiction and follows strictly the principles he was taught in RSA.  He had determined never to have children or be around them and never allows himself to have destructive thoughts.  He's looking for a woman with whom he can share his life, and I think she'll be lucky to have him.   

I'd be curious to know if anyone else knows a former abuser who has become a blessing to society.  They're not all the same.  Every case is different, and we shouldn't be automatically afraid or disdainful of someone we discover in our neighborhood.  You really have to know exactly what the person has done. 

I really wish we would change the sexual abuse vernacular!   I wish we stop saying fondle, it sounds benign, soft, and harmless.  The words should be as harsh as the action itself.  Violated, abused, raped of spirit and soul.  

Four years ago my brother was tragically murdered, the victim of a stray bullet.  Our family was completely devastated. I live 5 hours away so I went down to my parents to help my mom as much as I could.  About 14 months later, it was a week before the murder trial was to start.  Every day was hell knowing what we were about to go through (the murderer was a gangster and his east indian gangster associates filled the courtroom so we were escorted to our car after each day in court for our protection) Nothing could have prepared me for the complete and utter devastation I was about to experience when I tucked my 12 year old in bed and she told me what my Dad was doing to her everytime I went to their house for court.  If my brother wasn't killed, he would never have had the chance but the f***er knew we were distracted - by murder - that's all.  I drove there the next morning and could not prepare for what was to come out of his so called CHRISTIAN mouth - he blamed her and said she seduced him and that he didn't say anything because he was trying to protect us.  What a load of bullshit.  My mom, sister and brother physically attacked him and all hell broke loose.  My mom said she would come up to our house the next weekend to talk to my daughter and my husband. AND SHE NEVER CAME!! And never called us again.  I have not seen my family is three years !!!!  I went to the police and they failed us miserably - the file was transferred to their city because it happened at their house - 5 hours away and the stupid cops didn't even look at the file for six months.  By this time, my daughter didn't want to talk about it and we sure didn't want to see them again.  I lost my family but you know what - my daughter knows without a doubt (and my son too) that WE LOVE HER AND SUPPORT HER.  That was enough.  To know that we stood up for her was enough for her to heal.    

My mother chose a pedophile over her daughter and only grandchildren - and this was after we had already tragically lost a family member.  Also, she hated my Dad  for over 15 years and this was the ultimate "biblical" reason for her to kick him to the curb.  She chose him.  That is one hurt that I don't think I'll ever get over.   

But, thankfully I have a wonderful husband (19 years) and two amazing teenagers and that's enough for me. 

I need to write here sometimes as it is good therapy - thanks for reading. 

Nancy 

My wife and I are rasing our allmost 8 year old " Austistic" Grandson.  We have had him from since birth.  He has been in a Child / Adoloscent Mental Health Physicality 3 times, mainly to check diferent kinds of medications under Dotor's supervision. We have come along way with young man.  During his last stay, just 3 months ago, he was molested by a male "Aide" at the Hospital. 

The story about what had happend came out over a 10 day period of time after discharge. 

>>> We called the Hospital and were told the the Indivigual was discharged. 

>> We called "Child Protective Services" in Williamson County, Texas and were told that they            DO NOT investigate "Mental Health Hospitals"! 

It's scary to think that this individual might be working in another Child / Adoloscent Hospital.