Messages By: valhatt2

Just thought I'd drop in and say hello.  I have been having quite a battle in the past month since Christmas.  Can't explain it all, but hopefully things are getting back to normal.  Just wanted to let you all know that I am still around and kicking.  I have no more appointments now until Feb. I think just before I take the Caribbean Cruise.  I sure hope they will say that health wise everything should be okay for me to go.  You don't know how much my hubby and I need to get away and say poop on the world.  I am still not eating well, I should explain.  I eat every well one day and the next day I'm turned off by food completely.  I haven't dropped any weight am still around the 150 mark, and I feel fine.  I am easily tired but I think that's part of old age. Ha Ha.  Any way darlings thanks for letting me drop in and say hi.  You are all still in my thoughts every day and if it weren't for you and the prayers and my prayers and also my stubbornness I wouldn't have made this far.  See you all soon

Love

Val

I can understand you say the book scares you my friend, it does have a lot of deep thought provoking sections in it and I know I will be reading it over a couple of times before  really understanding the book fully ..... I tried to get my dds  view point on the book but she wasn't even interested in it but felt the book was really all about having a really good positive attitude in our lives.  What is the book?  I have looked over the posts and can't find the one mentioning the name. 

I have been home since Wednesday night and let me tell you it's great to be able to sleep in my own bed.  I am following orders to the tee, and so far all is pretty good.  I have had a twinge in my right side now since Thursday but will ask the palliative care people tomorrow what that might be about. 

Thanks Nikki for letting everyone know where I've been and calling me.  I am just sorry I didn't let you know but honestly for a few days all I could do was wake up.  The doctor has vetoed the idea of the cruise I am really P--------- about it, and I will be for some time.  This disease has robbed me of quite a lot. 

I too have started thinking about things as far as eternal life goes, and I just wake up every morning thanking that I am alive one more day and day go to bed thanking that I made it through another day.  The doctors have got my pain mostly under control, they have Von's coming in Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I can always tell them I just want 2 visits a week for now.  Mom and Dad have had to come back Florida as well because they place they were renting was sold.  We plan to go up there for a visit.

Anyway my friends I am going back to bed now, I'm taking it easy for awhile so maybe I'll come back in here tomorrow if I get the chance.  Here's something someone sent me and I wanted to give you something to think about.

Subject: 4 am and sleep until noon? 

Subject: 4 am and sleep until noon? 

 Subject:

IF YOU HAVEN’T GROWN UP BY 50…YOU DON’T HAVE TO.

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.  I was taken aback for i don’t feel myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question and I would ponder it and let her know.

Old age I decided is a gift.

I am now, probably, for the first time in my life the person I always wanted to be. Oh, not my body!  I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, the sagging butt.  And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.  As I’vie aged, I’vie become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself.  I’vie become my own friend.  I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I did’t need, but looks so avant Gard on my patio.  I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.  I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes from aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read a play on the computer until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50’s & 60’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love…I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. 

THEY TOO WILL GET OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.  And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car?  But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.  A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.  So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.  You care less about what other people think.  I don’t question myself anymore.  I’vie  even earned the right to be wrong.

So, answer you question, I like being old.  It has set me free.  I like the person I have become.  I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.  And I shall eat dessert every single day.