Messages By: joyjoybink

I have basically given up on trying to figure out what my real diagnoses are, besides the couple that I do know. And I seriously doubt that anyone on Dr. Phil's staff will read this & even care what's going on with me--or help me find the answers! I've written Dr. Phil many times just to be ignored.

So here's my story (as short as I can make it): In 1997/98 I was diagnosed by 3 docs with fibromyalgia. Of course, some docs still don't even believe it it exists. Idiots! I'm in southern Indiana, & our health care here--at least from my viewpoint, & my hubby agrees--is not even close to quality! Maybe if I had a lot of money, I'd be able to find out the whole truth about what's wrong with me. We've been bankrupted since I've gotten ill...buying medications & going to different docs.

And I don't just have fibro. There is a LOT more going on, but even my rheumatologist doesn't know & doesn't seem to have the ability or desire to get to the bottom of what's going on with me! And for what my insurance and I pay him, he should be able to!!  But it's just easier giving me meds to just manage my symptoms. I run low-grade fevers every single day...& my normal temp--for me (it's a bit different for everyone) is about 97.8 to 98. So when my temp is 99.8 or 100, I have a FEVER! But my primary care doc just ignores that. Also, my last sedimentation rate, which helps measure inflammation in the body, was 38! That's NOT good! Normal is 5-20. In 2004, when I went to a specialist nurse-practitioner in Florida (my friend's "doc"), my sed rate was 47!

I had an abnormal Pap smear earlier this year...well, I had to have a "colposcopy"; that's a biopsy of the cervix. Thankfully, it wasn't serious, but, guess what? It was inflammation! Hmm, wonder why? Because my body is full of inflammation! The only person who ever seemed to care was the nurse-practitioner (who is a specialist in rheumatology--which is the docs who help with arthritis, autoimmune disorders like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, etc.). I even have inflammation in my JAW! I have TMJ & have had it since the 1980s; there is practically nothing that will help that pain & nothing the docs can do about it! (I've already gone through having a splint, & I had braces for 3 years!) It's worst in my left jaw. Even my MRI in 2005 (I think that's when it was) showed the abnormalities in my jaw.

From an X-ray I had a couple of years ago, my rheumy says I have degenerative arthritis in my hips. I am never without pain! I'm going to have an MRI for that area, but first I have to have my rheumy call my insurance because it has to "pre-certified." I've had multiple trigger-point injections in my hips--even in my jaw! Sometimes they help; sometimes they don't. I've been to a pain doc, but he couldn't do much either. I'm so, SO weary of being ill, in SO much pain, and being so wiped-out exhausted all the time! I HATE going to docs, I hate taking so many meds, & I hate NOT KNOWING what's going on with me--and NO ONE cares! Even my hubby is SICK of it! Actually, he's been really supportive overall, but it gets tough for him to work full-time & have to come home & do the things around the house that I simply am physically unable to do.

The only good thing is that I am barely able to work very part-time from home. Even that can cause pain, though. I'm a freelance proofreader (no benefits, of course) for 2 Christian publishers. I have to limit how many projects I take because if I work too much, I'll be wiped out & unable to continue working. I'm fortunate if I can gross $5,000 a year. But, because we don't have kids & my hubby work full-time (at a fairly low-paying job), we're not eligible for SSI, Social Security Supplemental income. I've been waiting for over 3 years to get disability--IF I even end up getting it. I have a good attorney who specializes in disabilty (who only gets paid if I do), and now we're just waiting--interminably!--for Indiana SS to schedule a hearing before a judge for me.

Unfortunately, in the meantime, not only have we been bankrupted, we're living paycheck to paycheck and have absolutely NO savings. Just paying co-pays for my meds is expensive each month! I even try to sell books on eBay sometimes (when I'm able). Typing too long (like now!) puts my shoulders & neck in pain. And, of course, when a person is in horrid physical pain & has so much exhaustion, it's so easy to get depressed. And, after ten years, I'm just in too much pain & too weary to keep hunting for answers. What's the point? It just costs too much in co-pays to go to docs & to continue to have procedures done. We got rid of some of the medical debt with the bankruptcy, but then I got appendicitis in Feb. 2006 & had to have that removed--and the surgeon found some sort of tissue holding my right ovary & Fallopian tube against the right side of my body--he'd never seen anything like it in over 20 years of practice! He fixed it, of course, & that put me in a remission for awhile (a few months). So now we have medical debt again! Still, I 'm thankful for appendicitis in this instance; at least I got some relief for awhile.

It seems like I have some sort of connective tissue disease (since fibro doesn't show up on tests & my tests are abnormal). I'm also anemic & on iron & folic acid pills now. I had to stop going to church due to the pain of sitting in the pew for so long. I miss it. I miss having friends. I'm extremely isolated. And on June 26, 2006, the Chihuahua who was closest to me (Mommy's Girl!) just couldn't go on any longer. She was 17 & had been getting medicine for congestive heart failure for over 3 years, but we had to make the difficult decision to let her go. It was the last gift we could give her. Since I'm ill & mostly nocturnal (not by choice), I no longer have my little shadow to sleep beside me; our 2 remaining Chis are Daddy's kids. I still miss Chi-Chi SO much! At least she had a good long life & didn't suffer except for that last month. (We never had children; I left it up to God, & it just never happened, probably for the best.) I'm 46 & my body feels much older.

To anyone who read all this, I'm sorry to go on for so long. I really need to get offline now. If anyone wants to check my eBay books (mostly Christian fiction but other books too), my user ID there is chiandbutterflylover.

Since I went into another major "flare" when winter came in 2006, I may have to go on Prednisone again (which I hate due to its side effects). There are many times I'd rather just go to sleep & not wake up, but I've promised my hubby & mom that I won't commit suicide. I can't do that to my family. But when I pray I tell God that He can take me anytime. Sometimes I really think my hubby would be so much better off without having to worry about me & take care of me. I feel SO guilty for being ill, even though I did nothing to bring it on. Maybe someday, somehow someone will help me! Dr. Phil's staff, I'm DESPERATE for help! I'm going to try one more time to email the show...but I don't expect a response. So I'll just keep trying to hang in there one day at a time. I'm at a loss as to what to do. Forgive me for going on so long (anyone who has read this far). I'm really depressed right now (as anyone can tell). I just don't know how much longer I can go on like this! For those who pray, please, PLEASE pray for me. My name is Joy & I live in southern Indiana. Thank you to anyone who prays for me; I appreciate it more than you can know! For anyone else who's going through something similar to me--or worse--you're all in my prayers. I understand so well how incredibly difficult chronic illness can be, but I don't think Dr. Phil really "gets it." If he did, he'd do more shows about what MILLIONS of people have to live with every day! How sad. And, no, I'm not a hypochondriac. I have proof from my docs about that. I would never choose to live this way!  I'd love to throw away my meds & stop going to docs. We just can't afford it! In fact, I'm starting to not go to my docs as much as I need to anymore; I'm just too weary of it. I also have moderate asthma & multiple allergies. *sigh*  

Joy

P.S. For those who have chronic illnesses, a good website to go to is http://www.restministries.org. Everyone take care!

I'm sorry that Diana's sister doesn't understand. Of course she doesn't; she doesn't have body dysmorpic disorder! My dad, who passed on in 1990, had this before there was even a NAME for it! He ALWAYS thought his eyes were bulging & people could see it & that they were laughing at him. Even if a car passed us on the road & he saw the people in that car laughing, he truly thought they were laughing at HIM. Of course that sounds ridiculous, I realize that. But UNTIL those of you who don't believe this is a real disorder realize that it really, truly is a problem for some people, please, PLEASE don't judge these people!

My dad never got the help he needed. He was VERY withdrawn (although he was a wonderful dad & I still love him dearly & miss him), didn't like to be in public, & had a very difficult time socializing. My mom & I (& my brother when he was still at home; he was quiet like my dad & joined a Christian band when he was 17, left home, & then married at 19) went through very frustrating YEARS & YEARS trying to convince my dad that his eyes looked fine. When what we told him simply didn't work, it was SO difficult! Now I know that he COULDN'T help it! It didn't have a name in the 60s to the 80s; my dad was mentally ill since he was 19. And he knew he was mentally ill--he always turned it inward; he never hurt anyone at all. I don't know, though, if he knew intellectually that his eyes were fine.

Liz, please, PLEASE don't be so hard on your sister. She truly can't help it! Do you think she WANTS to feel that way? Of course not! I have gone through this & know how hard it is to deal with a family member who had BDD. We just didn't know what it was or that it even had a NAME. My dad was also clinically depressed, & he probably also had either a form of agoraphobia or social anxiety disorder. Plus he had very tormenting tinnitus---ringing in his ears; it just got louder as he got older & NEVER stopped (it was the result of a cherry bomb that went off near his ear on July 4 when I was a young girl; my uncle threw it & it went off before it was supposed to). My dad lived in mental agony from age 19 till his death at age 61.

Btw, my dad was NOT a manipulative person; he didn't want plastic surgery or anything like that. And he never attempted suicide that I know of, although my mom was fearful of that sometimes. And he also did NOT know what he had! And I was incredibly fearful as a young person that I would later BECOME like him. He also felt like he was an automaton; part of that was his medication for high blood pressure and for depression---and Prozac & those type of drugs (SSRIs) were available back then. He felt detached from life in a way---as if he were on the outside of his body looking at himself doing things. It's so difficult to explain. In the last year or so of his life, he couldn't even drive by himself. He just, for some reason, could NOT do it.

I really don't think my dad was abused in any way as a child. His parents were wonderful people who took care of my brother & me when both Mom & Dad were working. My dad, when he was able to work, worked as a night watchman---a solitary job. When he got laid off from his last job (he had a few, but if he wasn't completely alone on his job, he had a lot of trouble dealing with people around him, although he was an incredibly kind & very intelligent man. He gave me his love for learning. He taught me a lot about nature. I was Daddy's girl. His problems did bring up a few difficulties for me. I couldn't have friends over---my dad just couldn't handle that (although cousins was OK), and the thing I think affected me the most was that my dad wasn't strong enough emotionally for me to ask questions about life. I'm not describing this well; what I mean is that Mom, my brother, & I had to PROTECT Dad from anything that we thought would really upset him. He just couldn't handle it. In SO many ways, he was a wonderful dad, but he was also mentally ill. And that, of course, affected me & still affects me to some degree.

I'm 47 now. I don't have BDD & neither does my brother. I was always an outgoing person. I'm a bit shyer now & sometimes have problems with depression & anxiety, but the main reason for that is because I live with constant physical pain & profound fatigue---DAILY. I have ankylosing spondylitis (recently, finally diagnosed), fibromyalgia, TMJ syndrome, moderate asthma, multiple allergies, & I am sometimes anxious in social situations. Since I work from home very part-time as a freelance proofreader (since 1996), & I got ill (fibro & perhaps AS; I'm not sure when that started), I've been REALLY isolated just due to being ill & working from home.

One more thing: I had a panic attack when I was in a doctor's (internist) office in Feb. 2000. Because I was crying & couldn't stop (it was because he'd prescribed a drug that interacted with another med & gave me a couple of weird mental episodes---and he didn't realize it!), he put me in the hospital in the stress center! He didn't call my husband; he just sent me over to the hospital. I was so confused by that point---& hoping I might get some actual help from SOMEONE---ANYONE---in the hospital for my physical problems that I even signed the paper. Once they locked the door on me, THEN I went into true panic! I was scared my biggest fear had come true! My dad was in a sanitarium (mental hospital) in the late 40s & received shock treatments (that stole many of his memories before that time); his parents simply didn't know what else to do at that time. But that was the HORRID time to go to places like that! When my husband & mom came to see me in the hospital, I know I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I couldn't tell them why. But I was in there with people who were suicidal AND homicidal!! It only made me feel SO much worse! After being in there 27 hours(!) & NOT seeing the internist (who had promised to come see me & didn't!), I finally (after walking around the halls telling the nurses, therapists that I was going to leave if I didn't see a doctor!) got to see the doc who ran that floor. He took one look at me & said, "You'd rather deal with this at home, wouldn't you?" YES! I only had 2 strange mental episodes; when I stopped that med, I stopped having that happen. It didn't happen before & hasn't happened since! And it was the LAST time I went to see that doctor!

Anyway, I know from YEARS of experience that you simply can't tell someone who has BDD that they look fine and that will fix it. It simply won't! Not if they truly have BDD. And not just girls have it. As I said, my dad had it before it had a name. And although I have some depression & anxiety at times (I had a lot of anxiety attacks for awhile after my dad died---I even went into therapy with a wonderful psychiatrist who helped me deal with my grief & even my marriage), I'm not like Dad. And he was a wonderful Christian man; our family---and I---believe strongly in heaven & the hereafter (Dad & I had many talks about heaven; I miss those talks). So I KNOW that my dad is healthy now in every way---and I'm so glad for him! Even though I miss him, I wouldn't want him to come back to what he dealt with in life. And I don't care what others think; I know I'll see Dad again. :)

Sorry I wrote so much. I'm a good proofreader; I'm just not concise when I write things! LOL :) Anyway, BDD is ABSOLUTELY REAL. Take it from someone who knows, who lived with it someone who had it for so many years. And don't be so judgmental; love others & try to be as caring & kind as you possibly can. It's not fake; it's very real. And the person who has it truly doesn't know how to make it stop. I'm just glad that BDD is finally recognized; I wish it had been when my dad was alive---maybe he'd have been able to get some treatment (he did see a psychiatrist for depression; she didn't know what the other stuff was since BDD wasn't known about then). Be kind, take care of each other, & don't forget to love people.

Everyone have a good week! :) I'm looking forward to hubby & I picking up our new Chihuahua pup (male) this Saturday! Now we have 2; it'll be 3 soon! :-D Can't wait to go bring Pippin home! :)

I'm truly sorry about your dad. Your family will be in my prayers. But I think it's sad that you're being so judgmental. My dad had BDD before it even had a name! You really have no idea how tormenting this mental illness is. Our family lived with it for years. My dad LITERALLY couldn't HELP IT! Get a life? My dad would've LOVED to not have mental illnesses (which he had from age 19 until his death at 61 in 1990). He couldn't get treatment for BDD since no one knew what it was in the 1940s through 1980s. He went to a psychiatrist; he was clinically depressed, but she couldn't figure the rest of it out.

UNTIL you walk in someone else's shoes who either has this VERY REAL illness or live with someone who does, PLEASE don't judge. You come across as extremely judgmental & that's no way for ANY of us to be. I have chronic physical illnesses; I'll have to live with moderate to extreme pain every day of my life until I die, as well as daily profound fatigue (feeling wiped out---I'm in the process of trying to get disability; it's a LONG process!). It's like having the flu ALL the time, except my fevers aren't as high, but I have low-grade fevers every day, PLUS having so much pain throughout my body every day!

Still, I know there are others much worse off than I am. Again, I'm SO sorry to know that your dad has cancer. I hope you don't mind if I pray for him & your whole family. I sincerely hope & pray that there is a way somehow that the doctors can find a way to help him--if possible, that he might have a longer life & as good a quality of life as possible. I wish somehow he could be healed...that it would just go away. That must be SO tough!

Obviously, there are a wide range of medical problems---mentally & physically---that people experience. BDD IS real. And it doesn't just affect young women, not at all. I can see why you might think, due to your dad's cancer, that Dr. Phil might've been wasting air time. (Personally,  I thought the show about Britany Spears was a waste of time---what does her problems have to do with any of the audience?? I don't understand why people are so obsessed with celebrities.)

Hang in there the best you can...& I hope you & your family get to spend as much time as possible with your dad. As another person who posted a reply to yours said, it sounds like "Tuesdays with Morrie" (about a man dying from Lou Gehrig's disease) might be a helpful book for you & your family at some point. Sending you & your family lots of prayers! Joy

I meant to say that Prozac & other newer anti-depressants (SSRIs) were NOT available in the 1940s through the 1980s---they may have come out in the 80s; I can't remember, but my dad never had access to any of the newer anti-depressants. I SO much wish those had been available to him!

Btw, I also know a woman who was sexually abused as a child & later thought she looked like a "frog." She TRULY thought she was incredibly ugly.  I havent' been in touch with her for several years, but she confided in me when she was in her early 20s. And, like Dad, there was NO way I could convince her that she was definitely NOT ugly (she was a nice-looking girl, not a model type but still pretty). It's REALLY frustrating trying to convince someone who has BDD that they don't have any physical abnormalities and that they look FINE. I fully understand how frustrating and exasperating that can be.

It's sad to read how many people are SO judgmental; obviously, there is still a lot of ignorance that Body Dysmorphic Disorder even exists. (Sort of reminds me of my fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, TMJ syndrome---all of which are VERY painful & prohibit me from working outside the home; I can only work VERY part-time from my home, & have been seeking disability for several years. And then there's my July 2007 diagnosis of anklylosing spondylitis---it's a progressive spinal disease that involves inflammation in my spine, especially my lower back & it makes my neck very stiff at times; getting that diagnosis finally put some puzzle pieces in place for me.)

WHY can't people be kinder? WHY are people SO judgmental & just plain hateful? Can't people be more caring & not jump to conclusions so quickly? Whatever happened to people caring for each other & being more sympathetic--and empathetic? It's really sad to read how mean--and ignorant--some of these posts are. PLEASE try to understand that this is a REAL problem for many people! And it's not just young women! Honestly! I'm glad it's finally being brought out into the light & that Dr. Phil had this show. Those of you who are SO judgmental don't realize that this could help thousands & thousands of people watching who may be coping with the same thing--as I saw that one person who posted is indeed dealing with this, but sounds like the person is getting better--thankfully! :) We ALL need to try to put ourselves in others' shoes instead of jumping to conclusions & just calling this vanity. I'm sorry so many people are so limited in their thinking. I live with mostly invisible physical illnesses---and there are people who also live with invisible mental illnesses; my dad was one of them.

Diana, my heart goes out to you & I'll be praying for you. I'm glad you at least know what is wrong; my dad never had that. Hopefully, now you'll get some great therapy & medication if needed (might be needed; don't refuse to take the medication if the docs Dr. Phil got for you recommend it; it could make a BIG difference!). Anyway, you & your family are in my prayers. Liz needs to be less judgmental; I know it's frustrating for your family. I've been in a family like that, so I know. But give her time to understand now that this is a REAL illness, & that you can get help. I'm so glad there's help available.

I think you're a lovely young woman! I know that probably won't make any difference in how you see yourself, but please know that there ARE people out here who ARE supportive of you! Please just ignore the negative posts; people don't know what they're talking about. So hang in there & take care of yourself! I'm so glad Dr. Phil has gotten you some help. I wish that would've been available for my dad. Hang in there, Diana, & I hope to hear an update on you from Dr. Phil sometime. You're in my thoughts & prayers. {{{hug}}}

I can't remember the other girl's name (my memory isn't that great), but I think she probably does have less BDD & perhaps more self-esteem problems, although she MIGHT have the beginnings of BDD. But I'm not sure & I'm NOT going to judge her! I wish her all the best. Sorry I can't remember your name, young woman, but please don't be too hard on yourself. And, if Dr. Phil has offered you help or recommended you get some, please do so. You are a lovely young lady. Don't be too self-conscious. And don't let the negative people get you down. Try to see how beautiful you are inside & out! I'm not sure exactly where you are as far as BDD goes, but don't let your outside define who you are. There is SO much more to you than just what you look like; I know it's tough to be self-conscious. Besides, there's nothing wrong with you physically even though you probably won't believe me. Just take care of yourself & focus on being the wonderful person you are & can be. You'll also be in my thoughts & prayers, as well as your family.

I just wish there had been help available for my dad so his life could've maybe been a bit less traumatic for him. He was a great dad & I still love him very much! I know it's difficult to know & deal with someone who has mental illness, but let's all do the best we can & not throw out judgments and negative things without thinking. We need to be KINDER & more COMPASSIONATE! Please try, everyone! Thank you. Joy

I'm so sorry for your limited view. As i said in other posts, my DAD had this before it had a NAME! He died without ever knowing WHY he felt the way he did!

My dad did NOT spend hours in front of the mirror at all! In fact, I don't think he even liked to look in the mirror at ALL!

It's  NOT just a woman's problem, either. I saw a special on this on a news report show, something like 20/20 or Dateline...and there was a GUY who thought his stomach looked fat even though he had great abs! He looked better than okay. He looked really nice; he had good abs. But he simply COULD NOT SEE THAT WHEN HE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR (which he also avoided, but they had him do it for that show).

This is NOT something some guy just thought up! How can you be so hateful? I just pray that you never get an "invisible" illness---because there are MANY of them! Both mental AND physical! So, yes, I know of AT LEAST TWO males who've had this problem, and I'm SURE there are more men who have this; they just aren't as easy to get to go to a doctor as much as most women are willing to.

Shame on you! I lived with my dad having this ALL my life! Until he died in 1990. Maybe you need to do some research and find that Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a VERY REAL mental illness! It's a chemical imbalance!

You can't SEE many physical illnesses by looking at someone, but that does't mean they're NOT real! I hope you somehow learn to be a more caring & kinder person. When did so many people get so mean & hateful & uncaring to others??? Or perhaps your mental illness is "lack of empathy." I feel sorry for you. You are a very limited person. I'm being matter-of-fact; I don't want to sound mean, although I'm using stronger language than I usually do. It's just SO FRUSTRATING for people to be so uncaring.

Shallow? Hmm. Maybe you should take a good, long look at yourself. I KNOW the agony my dad went through! He wasn't maniupulative; he wasn't looking all the time in the mirror; he didn't spend any money for plastic surgery, but we could NEVER convince him that his eyes were NOT bulging. We couldn't convince him that he looked FINE. He was a kind, gentle, sweet man. I pray you can be the same---kind, gentle, & much more sweet & less shallow than your post indicates. *shaking my head* I just don't understand people like you. I really don't. I have to get offline now & TRY to get some proofreading done, even though I'm not feeling physically up to it. I have a deadline to meet despite my "invisible" pain & profound & difficult fatigue. I pray you learn to be kinder & less judgmental.

YES, THERE ARE MEN WHO HAVE HAD & HAVE BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER! Have a good week. People like you are the ones who make me feel like giving up on other people--on them ever understanding what my dad went through mentally & what I'm going through physically. I wish you could know how hard it is to find people like you. :(

Like you, I can't post about the immense negativity on this board any longer. Some people will just NEVER understand!

I haven't read your posts all the way through (since I have to get to work soon on the manuscript I have), but I will read all your posts later. I'm SO glad you're recovering! I'll keep you in my prayers. {{{hug}}} I wish Dr. Phil had used a man as well as a woman, but a guy with BDD isn't as likely to seek help. My dad would've LOVED to have had some help, but there wasn't any for it back then. He felt so GUILTY for being mentally ill, even though he and all of us knew he just couldn't help it. Just as I feel guilty for being physically ill. We have no children (which turned out to be a good thing), but we have our sweet Chihuahuas. :) Please take care of yourself & I might post more to you later. God bless! Thank you for your kind words!   Joy

It was a 17-yr-old who told Kristen that---still, I said out loud (to myself), "WHY would her friend say THAT to her?" It could've been that Kristen mentioned the word "tramp" before the teenager did.

Just because of a 17-yr-old saying something dumb (aren't teenagersknown for that??), that doesn't mean ALL Christians are like that. We get targeted a lot by others---every little word & deed scrutinized, but I takepeople as INDIVIDUALS. Shouldn't we all do that? Why in the world would I say you're going to "h-e-youknowwhere" because of your post?? That would be a HUGE overreaction, don't you think? Besides, Keith Urban IS a Christian (he said so more or less in one of his CDs liner notes), and he has MANY tattoos. I LOVE his music! :) (And, yes, he's gorgeous! And seems like a really sweet person; it'd be cook to meet him someday.)

I also have SO many friends who have tattoos. They aren't regular churchgoers, but I'm not judging them because of their tattoos. In fact, God the Father & Jesus are the ONLY Ones who can judge people---NOT me! I'm not a regular churchgoer either, but it's due to having painful illnesses that keep me mostly homebound--not because I don't want to go. I also have friends without tattoos--I don't have one (ouch! LOL), but if I did it'd be a small Monarch butterfly since my hubby & I raise butterflies in the summer. I've been the "butterfly lady" since the early 90s. Thankfully, hubby does most of the work now. We give away & sell Monarch pupas (chrysalises) for $5 or less (not nearly enough to pay hubby & me for the time involved raising butterflies---feeding caterpillars take a LOT of time!). Kids AND adults LOVE them! :)

Anyway, I digress. Typical. LOL I would love to know Kristen's last name so I could check out what books she's written. I'm a part-time freelance proofreader for two major Christian publishers (although I'm having trouble working enough these days due to illness), so I'd LOVE to know who she is! :) Kristen, if you're reading this, email me at joyjoybinks43@ yahoo.com (take out the space before "yahoo"). I'd love to check out what you've written. I'd love to know who you are. You seem like a really sweet person--and you have a unique perspective that probably has been & will be so helpful to younger people---& other women too.

OK, nearly done! LOL Just don't be so tough on ALL Christians, K? I definitely know the type of people you're talking about---I had to leave a church that was WAY too strict & legalistic. . .about stuff that's not even in the Bible! Very disappointing. But we're not ALL like that---everyone is on a different part of his/her spiritual journey. I personally think that being a Christian is ALL about love---GOD IS LOVE. :) Thank goodness! :) Thank Him! :-)

See ya!
Joy in Indiana
 

I have no idea why both of you are so judgmental just because Bishop T. D. Jakes pastors a "megachurch." There are probably many pastors in the church since it's large. Is it because it's a large church and other TV pastors have messed up badly--or just because you don't like Christians, period? Perhaps it's the latter? It seems like it, but I'm not judging, unlike the both of you. Hmm, I thought we were supposed to love each other & take people ONE at a time---not judge for no particular reason. Disappointing, but Christians are always getting bashed. We're getting used to it. I even prefer now to call myself a "follower of Jesus" since "Christian" is almost a dirty word now. Sad.

This girl is young & immature, but I in no way felt she was faking it. She couldn't control her trembling, even right after Dr. Phil switched places with her. Why in the world would anyone say she was faking it?? She looked terrified to me! She's immature because she got married when she got involved with this guy when she was 17! A child! Children tend to be immature. She's a child with 3 children of her own.

Just because she got pregnant does NOT mean they should've got married! And this guy hasn't had affairs---he's a SEX ADDICT! I'm puzzled that Dr. Phil didn't say anything about that. I find it hard to believe that Anthoney worked 3 jobs at a time; how would he have had time to pursue his sex addiction if he was working all the time?? Hmm. And he NEVER, EVER "got it"!! DUH!

Personally I got sick of hearing Anthoney justify & defend everything he did! The kid is CLUELESS!! Completely clueless! No insight, no understanding...nothing! Dr. Phil DID say that it was wrong for her to abuse him, but that does NOT give him the right to do what he did to her! Even if it was just the stuff Anthoney said he did. The light has NEVER gone on in this child's mind! I don't care how old he is; he desperately needs to grow up! He never said ANYTHING about being worried about his children during everything that was going on between them. He's a poor excuse for a so-called man---I'm not judging; he pretty much did that to himself by what he said on the show. He was "restraining" her. Typical talk of an abuser.

And even if he's going to church, it's obvious that he still doesn't feel sorry for what he did. He wouldn't be defending himself if he did. He thought that by coming to the show he could convince her to come back to him. I found it hard to believe ANYTHING Anthoney said. Erin, I really think you need to work on yourself, get some professional help, & take care of your kids! I really don't think Anthoney can be trusted--and I'm not sure he ever will be. . .not unless he finally--at some point--realizes what horrid things he's done---AND gets help for his SEX ADDICTION! And for being so ABUSIVE! Don't subject those kids to that just because you say you "love" him. I have a hard time seeing how you can feel love for someone who has been so abusive of you--even if it were just the verbal abuse. He's beating you down because that's who he is! He has a LONG, LONG way to go--if he ever gets there.

I pray you & your kids will stay safe & away from Anthoney. You both need to do a LOT of work. I'm sorry you got married in the first place. Getting pregnant by a man does NOT mean you HAVE to get married. Sometimes that just makes everything worse! I've seen my niece do the same thing. :( And aren't you at all worried about him giving you some sort of SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE??!! The man is a SLUT! He didn't have affairs; he's a SICK, SICK person who is ADDICTED! He needs serious professional help! I fail to understand why no one has seen this! Bizarre! Please stay safe!

Even as I was sitting here, I was reminded of a Scripture that pertains ESPECIALLY to this family. Instead of Dan babbling on & on about the "Lord leading him" (which seems highly unlikely--and I've been a Christian & have studied the Bible since I was 10 or 11), how about this Scripture, Dan?

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8 (King James Version)

Here it is in the New International Version since I'm not sure at all which Bible this guy--who, I'm sorry, seems to be a bit lazy--is reading. I'm not judging him, but he has SEVEN children! And NO way to support them!

"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8 (NIV)

The Bible also tells us that we are to shun even the appearance of evil ("avoid every kind of evil" 1 Thessalonians 5:22 NIV)--and by trying to help people get out of the obeying the law! How's he going to feel if someone runs through a stop sign and KILLS someone, but doesn't get caught because they painted their stupid license plate with his ridiculous invention! The Bible also says, "Warn those who are idle" (1 Thessalonians 5:14). This guy playing in his water in the backyard & jumping on the trampoline (why not sell that to help pay for the mortgage??) is making a mockery of God's commands & being SO idle & NOT supporting his family!

This guy is SO far off base--and the pastor in the audience reinforced what I just said!! I'm truly not judging this misguided man, but he does seem incredibly misguided--and he's making Christians who are truly following Christ look really bad! He has a college education! He CAN get a job! Perhaps he loses jobs because he's always spouting the Scriptures that seem to support what he does? He has SEVEN children! They should be in a HEATED house! They should have RUNNING WATER! This man SHOULD have at least be working 5 days a week, 8 hours a day on an OUTSIDE job! One in which he can get a WEEKLY salary! This working from home, his playing in the pond & jumping on the trampoline, is a crock! SELL THE TRAMPOLINE to help pay for the mortgage!

Isn't this guy just playing at being self-employed while waiting to "get rich quick"? Those guys are a dime a dozen--and it usually goes NOWHERE. Dan seems to be putting his so-called "faith in the Lord" ABOVE his children's well-being! Perhaps the authorities need to step in and take those children away from these completely misguided and foolish parents! Dr. Phil is so right; this guy is selfish! AND self-righteous!

GET A JOB! PROVIDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN! Let go of the "get-rich-quick" schemes! WAKE UP, DAN!! I pray that God will OPEN your eyes for your children's sake! And if you can't take care of them, then someone who has heat & running water should be! I think they're abusing those children by keeping them in such rotten conditions!