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A preschooler an 80 hour a week job and a part time husband.  The only thing you can to is take advantage of the man when he is not on the road. 

I imagine your weight is a product of your lifestyle.  Loosing weight does not take time but is does take nerves that are in better shape then yours.   If anything you can cut yourself some slack until you can cut down on your work hours.  You won't be able to keep this up for long so you might start thinking about plan b. which requires you to only work a 40 hour week.  Clearly your pushing yourself too hard. 

BTW:  The messy house is the least of your problems but flylady.net has some good advice and a few smiles. 

She is just still a baby and you need to model how you want her to talk to people and it sound like you are doing that.   

You can't tell Dad what to do but you can when he is in a good state of mind and Isabelle is not present let him know how you feel about the way he talks to her.  Say something like "it really worries be when you talk to Isabelle with a harsh tone, I'm afraid she will use that tone with others.  I think we need to model how we talk to her after how we want her to talk to others.  It is true she listens to harsh tones but I think we can come up with better ways without modeling bad behavior"   

If Isabelle truly does not respond to you then you need to correct that too or you won't have Dads respect when you ask him to change something. 

You might want to make a couple of parenting books availble like "how to behave so your preschooler will too" or something else with a style your comfortable with. 

You all are talking like you seen the show.  It appear to not have been aired yet.   I'll I've seen is 30 second clips.  How can you judge a show or the guest on the show prior to seeing it? 

Personally I don’t need to punish my kids.  I can ignore most bad behavior because I am a cheerleader for good behavior.  I don’t remember the last time I used a time out.  I consistently get glowing reports about my kid’s behavior so I must be doing something right.  Things like: “Your kids are so helpful and polite and well mannered.”   “They are a pleasure to be around.”  Yes I have gotten one through the teenage years and you know she was a pleasure to be around then too.  I look forward to those years with my other children. 

I keep reading references to single parent or alone or working mom.  This is silly and has nothing to do with these parenting problems.  Stay at home married mom's have the same issues.  So let’s just call it parenting because kids are kids and parents are parents and working or single or not we all have the same responsibilities to our kids and we all are just as capable of fulfilling them if we get out heads out of the sand (could of said something else here) and do the most important job of our life’s properly.   Marriage and husbands can bring in just as many issues as kids.  Stay at home moms are at risk for losing their perspective from being in the midst of the situation all the time and get far fewer breaks and loads less help.  There are no excuses for improper parenting no matter what your circumstances are.   

I think it is strange that people always mention if it is a single mom or a working mom when describing problems with parenting but if it is a stay at home mom they just say mom.   

If in 5 months your current psychologist has not improved things you need to go elsewhere.  There are several books that all apply Dr. Phil's technique in different ways but the main theme is the same.  If I were in your shoes I would go to extremes with behavior modification now before she is big enough to do real damage and prior to trying medication.   This will be difficult for the first few weeks but should pay off.  If you can afford it hire some help or recruit family or friends to provide support during the initial period.

Strip her world of everything but what she needs (3 healthy meals and water(no juice or milk)) , mattress pillow and blanket and one outfit per day plus pjs and undies.  No snacks, No Juice.  Meals should be a form of protein and some veggies.  Stay clear of refined carbohydrates and sugar in any form including fruit for a while.  She should have a bare room that just contains her bedding and a big clock or a timer.  She should be restricted to that room and your attention to her should only be when she is in a clam pleasant state.  You should be able to focus a great deal of your time with her during this time.   Your attention (or attention of any calm adult) is her first payoff for being good.  While she is good she should not be left alone for more then 5 minutes except when she is a sleep.   Bringing in a book or game or a single toy to play with her at a time is fine but it should be removed when you leave.  Any misbehavior means you leave the room (withdraw your attention) and she is left alone for 5 minutes of her being in a calm pleasant state.  Never enter the room if she is not in a calm pleasant state unless you fear for safety.   Get a baby cam so you can monitor without giving her attention.   If she is good for a specific amount of time (say 1 hour) then she can leave the room but must remain with you at all times.  Any negative behavior should return her to her room.  This room remains bare until she is living in the house with out problem behaviors for a period of 1 week.  She does not leave the house until she has been good for a month.  Any bad behaviors you step back room restriction and let her work her way back.  Then you slowly return things to her.  The first thing she earns is freedom from the room and then freedom from being at your side then her stuff back and then treats and goodies like TV.  You will need lots of help during this first period because you need to be calm and not react to any of her behavior.

You need to be very clear with her what good behavior is and but is negative behavior. 

You should monitor and record bad behavior so you know your starting point. 

To make this work you have to not yell or punish or show anger in any way other then to return her to the room in a calm way.  If necessary put a chain lock at a high point on the outside of the door so she can’t reach it but can still open the door.  Ensure the room is safe. 

If after 3 days you don’t see improvement in her behavior (expect it to get worse for the first day or two) then get a preschool behaviorist to work with you.  Don’t continue without help if you are not seeing improvement within 1 week.  Once you are in a more normal state with her then you will need to chart her progress and ensure she stays on track. 

I would recommend once she is on track following How to behave so your Preschooler will too or the book for older kids.

Don’t even consider medication until you've done some form of extreme behavior modification. 

To do this you will need a second adult in the house at all times for the first week at least to support you.  You need buy in from that adult and you need other assistance for at least a month if not two because she won’t be leaving the house until she is under complete control.  It takes 3 months to form a habit so you should have 3 months of proper behavior before you put it to the test in a situation where you do not have complete control and can’t just pick her up and leave as soon as you see a problem.   

If you say you’re going to do something you have to follow through let them slide one time and you will loss the battle very quickly.  It will work and they will start picking up.  It sure beats the heck out of yelling and punishing.  It is a logical consequence to lack of care for their things.  Most kids have too much stuff anyway. 

Don’t tell your kids you’ll do this unless you willing to toss out anything they own. 

For 4 months toss the alam clock unless you have to be somewhere at a specific time in fact remove all clocks from your bedroom.  Remove any TV from your bedroom too and phone also  Wake up naturally.   Get out of bed and make it as soon as you wake up.  Get dressed and put on your shoes.  You are not allow to lie down or remove your shoes for the rest of the day unless you are ill(this may sound strange but do it anyway).  If you smoke or drink coffee or drink soda stop at 6pm(it takes 4 to 6 hours to clear your system of amphetamines).  No food after 7pm.  Your kitchen should be clean by 7:30pm and no one should enter until the next morning.  Turn off the tv and phone and computer by 9pm.  The house should be very quiet 1 hour prior to bed.  Go to bed by 10pm.   

Make a list of every problem that your bad habit causes and the benifits of forming a new positive one.  Set a goal and reward yourself for keeping to your goal.  If getting up and being productive is important to you then you will do it.  Otherwise you will just keep up your lazy ways. 

Flylady.com has some good ideas about setting up morning routines and evening routines that I have found very helpful. 

That is about the best gift you can give yourself.  Keep it up..........  If you can quit smoking you know you can lose the weight.  Your talking 3 to 4lbs a month to be 40lbs lighter for next year less then a lb a week.  Heck if you just switch from soda and other drinks to water you can do it without giving up anything else.  Add a 30 minute walk everyday and you will be there fast.  Get someone to pay you for walking their dog 30 minutes a day and you can buy yourself some great new cloths. 

I suggest you get yourself a partner for support it will make it much more fun.