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Messages By: mm1956

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January 6, 2007, 8:55 am CST

we know this

we have a few family members that wont get jobs also, we try to help but how far do u go. 1 gets jobs but then quits shortly after, some have ligit reasons & i wish he could find a job he loves & would stick with. i have noticed that both of the people i am talking about have problems with jobs, money, & other things. i have kinda done research kinda surveyed people with same symptoms & found all of them have alot in common & if they could get the right kind if help maybe it would change their outlook on life. it is causeing stress & financial problems for us now & they still cant see it cause they think we have money to spare. we have had alot of things come up in the past year that took us down in more than money ways. we had a grandchild that did not make it & that tore us up.  we have tried to help our other son, he's the type to try to do all himself. we even paid 1 of his bills annon & he finally found out,& was surprised how i could do that.  at least he's tried to help himself, he's self sufficient except that gaming is more important sometimes than other bills, he pays bills but he owes us too & that gets set aside from paying. he has a good job but too many bills to cover them, along with having to let their baby go after so long.  we wishthe now society would see that things change & you need a back up plan just in case. thank u for your time. mary
 
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January 7, 2007, 9:41 pm CST

thank u, i am not alone in this

Quote From: ktractor

you are not alone. i also have family members like yours. my sister -in-law and her two daughters mooch off my in-laws who are elderly and neither are in good health. my in-laws have paid for cars, down payments on a house and paid the payments and taxes on the house, paid monthly bills for them and buys school clothes for one daughters kids. my husband works everday monday thru saturday at least 10 to 12 hours a day. i am disabled, but have worked all my life. we work very hard to get what we have and watch every penny just to get by. we have never ask my in-laws for any kind of help. these people will work for a few months then quit. they do this so they can file earned income on their tax returns and get the max back. they receive all kinds of assistance. they eat better than we do, go on vacations, are buying something all the time.they are such moochers that they want even mow their own lawn. my father-in-law and mother-in law mower their lawn for them. the daughter that has children even talked my father-in-law into buying a four wheeler for her 7 year old son and into buying her a new car. i get so mad about this, because we have three daughter who all work and have never ask their grandparents for help. the all have good jobs that they have been on for years. very seldom do they ask us for help. i have told my husband that if his sister and neices keep it up that there will not be anything left to help take care of his parents if he doesn't talk to his parents about this and have them put a stop to all the mooching. they all need to get jobs and keep them and stop mooching. thank you for letting me vent. ktractor
i want to thank u for letting me know i am not the only one paying all the others bills or should i say between my husband, & mom  & i we cant do it anymore, without it dragging us down even lower.. my son & sister do this to us all the time, put guilt trips on us. we have gone without so much it isnt even funny. my husband bought me a beautiful ring i want him to take back but he refuses.we eat the cheapest meat we can find which is sausage & isn't good for me cause i'm diabetic, mom wont get medical ins, even though she can.so we worry bout that. we lost a precious grandson & helped our youngest son & his fiance there a bit. i wish we could of helped more but he thank goodness he does pay his bills. but lets some things go. i love my family very much but cant take much more. we had to replace our furnace on our house this past week & we are struggling now. we dont have money to back us up if something more major goes wrong. our credit is used up to the max trying to help. i was in a car accident & have to start paying the chiropractor, i'm still trying to figure out where we're gonna dig that money out. the ins will help later on i hope, but it's in the court pre stages. so much too much to deal with.plus my sister i try to help with the kids expenses, my oldest niece is graduating this year & i just paid for some pics form wal mart so she could be in the yearbook. she wants so much out of life, they all do, but we cant afford to support 3 families, or 4. my husbands income only goes so far, i will say my sister does try to help some with groceries & when she does have some moeny she tries to pay some of it back, & my son helped with a few groceries.  thanks for the support. i do appreciate it. mary
 
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January 7, 2007, 9:45 pm CST

01/10 Mega Moochers

Quote From: gijane

I have to agree that many of these people are enablers.  As a teacher, I see many parents creating these moochers.   I had a student who was VERY intelligent, however,  he did no work.    His parents bought him what he wanted and let him do what he wanted.  There were no consequences at home for his poor performance.  I tried to get through to him with guest speakers.  He said he was going to do nothing until he graduated and then just "join the marines" when he graduated.  (This kid was physically and mentally lazy.)  I had a marine come in and talk to my class about what it takes to be a marine.  He realized that the marines want people who not only perform physically but can also think.  So he said well I guess I live off my parents then.  This is a case of the parents creating their own problem.  
i would like to say we have tired to help, we also put our foot down & then are called names, my sister tells me to get a backbone & then when i do she calls me names. sometimes u dont enable but they try to find a way. put your foot in our shoes for 1 month & have the heart we do , maybe u do, but it is hard. i wold rather pay my sons rent than have him have to move back in, which would cost more in the long run. also help my sister if i can a bit. my mom is the one who enables my sister & othersa re now. they just need a good break on bills if jobs would open up that would help too, with all the plants & area business shutting down how do they make it. plus gas skyrocketing has killed us financially. have a good one-mary
 

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