Messages By: kv1056

 i feel really bad about this couple.  it is one thing to be thrifty - but if he spends money on himself before his wife, i see where his priorities are!! my hubby and i have been married for over 32 years and the first years, we were as poor as church mice! but every birthday, anniversary, christmas, my husband always made sure i had a gift.  one year it was a stuffed animal that i still have! one year it was a silk scarf. so, i don't believe this guy that he is "trying to get ahead". that is such a load! i'll take my husband anyday over this one. he has alot to learn!!

 One of my earliest memories of my Mother was her telling me that I was a mistake and that she didn't want me. She had been married before with 2 kids and when she married my Dad, he was an alcoholic with suicidal issues.  I came along and spent the next 46 years trying to please her. She's been dead for 5 now and she doesn't have to torture me any longer because I do it myself.  I have low (or maybe no) self-esteem and I think I would have turned out differently if my Mother loved me.  It's amazing to me that I have been married for over 30 years to a great man - how he sticks with me is a miracle. I love my kids so much I could not imagine hating them the way my Mother hated me. I always blamed myself - if only I was pretty, if only I was smart, etc. To tell of all of the ways she "hated" me would take all day. Someday I hope to move beyond this and heal. But for now, I'm alone.  Very few people know how miserable I am. I am good at putting on faces.

 I honestly thought I was all alone then.  I felt so different from my friends that had Moms that did things with them, they seemed so happy to have them. I could not relate nor could  ever  tell anyone what was happening to me.  My teen years were pretty scary - luckily I survived. Any sense of a happy life didn't begin until I met my husband. I really thought my hell would be over when my Mother died.  But it hasn't ended. I have heard that the abuser wins when they no longer have to control the abuse because the victim continues it for them.. That's where I think I am now. Thank you for caring....