Messages By: acalifgal

Watching the show today was exactly like watching my parents.  I am 39 years old, my parents are in their early 60s.  My dad met his mistress at church (of all places) after he retired.  I am so ashamed of him.  He thinks nothing of spending most of the day with his mistress and people of the church know it too.  My mom knows it because he has confessed.  I have written to their minister and the elders of the church have tried to counsel my dad and his mistress, but he is so stubborn and takes the attitude that nobody is going to tell him how he should be living his life.  I wish Dr. Phil could help my parents but I know they won't go to the show.  I wish my mother had been sitting in the audience on today's show.  My dad bought a camping trailer and now he periodically takes his mistress camping, sometimes they are gone four days at a time.  He tells my mom that he is taking the other woman and going camping.  I have asked my mom why she doesn't divorce him.  She says that California is a community property state and she will lose even more money if they divorce.  She has been keeping financial secrets from him because if he knew how much money was in the bank, he'd spend it on his mistress.  He has already spent all the money that my parents earned from a sale of a piece of property they had.  He spends it on his mistress for her home repairs and car repairs, plus taking her out to dinner and out to the movies.  I have grown to hate my dad.  I wish he were dead.  I don't love him at all.  I don't speak to him and haven't seen him in over 3 years.  He has spent any money my brothers and I would have inherited on his mistress.  I am so angry.

I recently got fired from the Health Maintenance Organization that I was working for.  I read with interest all the messages posted on this message board about people who experienced workplace bullies and getting fired from healthcare facilities.  My story isn't much different from the rest.  I was a victim of office gossip and pretty much most of the department became bullies.   I chose to ignore them so I avoided the breakroom and I kept to myself.  On breaks, I went outside and walked alone, or I sat in my car and ate my lunch alone.  I did not socialize with anyone at work.  Most of their gossip was untrue remarks about my private life, so I did not tell anyone anything about my private business.  Well, I got fired after three and a half years of service.  It happened when my performance review was due.  I was told my performance review was due and unsatisfactory, therefore, I was being terminated.  I was given no disciplinary action or no goals to work toward.  Whenever a co-worker came to me and asked me something, I replied to the question, but I did not offer anything further.  I did not share with my co-workers what I did over the weekend or what I watched on TV the night before.  We had too much work to do and I did not waste time socializing with my co-workers.  You'd think my supervisor would have appreciated my devotion to work, but instead she held it against me.  I was gained up on by my co-workers and fired because nobody wanted to work with me.  We got a new computer billing system and only a few selected people got training on it from the reps.  Those few people were instructed to train the rest of the department.  When I was trained, they deliberately didn't tell me certain details and set me up to make mistakes.  Then these mistakes were conveniently given to the supervisor to use as an effort to firing me.  Everyone is so clickish and if you aren't in the click, you will be outcasted.  These workplace bullies seem to be more and more young people, but also some in their 50s.  I think they are schoolhouse bullies who never grew up.  I hope there will be nice people at my next job.  Quite frankly, I don't want to work anymore if I have to work with a bunch of bullies.  I have even considered not working another job in the healthcare industry.  What does it take to turn these bullies around?  We all work for the same reason:  to get a paycheck.  The gossip and bullying has to stop.

Why is it that the healthcare industry employs so many bullies?  In healthcare, we as professionals, are supposed to be caring for the ill and injured patients.  How can we provide care to these patients when we are in an environment which promotes hatred and evil doings toward one another?  Even if you are not a doctor, nurse, medical technician, etc., even if you are doing billing, receptionist, or other clerical/administrative duties, we still should be promoting healing and good health toward our clients. 

 

In the medical group I worked in, the stress level was so high, and the employee turnover was so high.  So many employees who have been terminated have ended up on Disability, then Unemployment.  When the work environment tears down your self-esteem, it creates illness not only physically, but mentally as well.  I am ashamed of my former co-workers and I hope I never cross paths with them ever again for the remainder of my life.  I have decided that I want my next job to be away from the healthcare industry.

My former evil boss was a Director of the business office for a managed care medical group.  She is 60 years old, and doesn't seem to remember something called Medical Confidentiality.  In the healthcare industry, you can't seem to hear enough about HIPPA (medical privacy act), but this boss chose to ignore all rules and regulations about medical privacy.

 

During the three and a half years I was employed, each time I had a medical ailment come up, she breached my medical confidentiality by telling the entire department my medical business at department meetings.  Last year, I was scheduled to have an outpatient surgery.  The day before my surgery, my evil boss gathered the department around me and began singing "Happy Surgery to you" in the tune of "Happy Birthday".  She then told everyone what type of surgery I was having.

 

Later on, I had to have a cyst removed from my upper, inner thigh.  I was having the procedure done in the Surgery Department at the medical group.  My evil boss walked in, like she owned the place, and stayed to observe the procedure without my permission.  I was not dressed, and my private parts were exposed.  I was humiliated.

 

I decided to have gastric bypass surgery to get my weight under control.  My evil boss told everyone in the department  and this ignited a huge debate.  Some people in the department didn't feel I should have it, and people were approaching me to discuss my medical business.  What happened to medical confidentiality?  When you work in any healthcare facility, you are under an obligation to maintain medical confidentiality when you happen to hear or see something of someone that you know.  You do not have the right to tell others.  My evil boss has worked in the industry long enough to know this.  Medical confidentiality laws have been around for a long, long time.  I filed a complaint with the Director of Medical Records, who is in charge of enforcing HIPPA compliance.  But my complaint has been shoved under the rug and ignored.  It is like all the Directors are sleeping in the same bed and protecting each other.

I didn't see the first episode of this topic, but I gather I didn't miss much!  What I'd like to know is what is wrong with the son being a substitute teacher? I remember when I was in school, many substitute teachers said they made more money substituting than they would have by being a regular, full-time teacher.  I guess it depends upon how ambitious you are to be available for work. 

 

Also, I have to tell you, I was starting to become offended when Pierre kept saying how earning $40,000 a year was like being at a poverty level!!  Come on!!  What an exaggeration of words!  That is more money than what I make, and I happen to live a comfortable life-style.  I am single, never been married, don't have any kids.  I pay my bills, and I don't live beyond my means.  I live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house with a 2-car garage and a huge back yard.  I don't take expensive vacations when I can't afford it.  I don't drive an expensive car.  I drive a dependable car with good gas economy.  That's what Pierre needs.  How dare he compare a cheaper car to a "scooter".  He's a school teacher huh?  It is scary to think what he is teaching the young children of the next generation!

 

The problem with people these days is everyone thinks they are "entitled" to what they cannot afford.  Everyone wants money from those who have it.  Everyone thinks they are going to get rich off of someone else.  Well, wake up and smell the coffee!  You are not entitled to what you cannot afford!  If you want to live high on the hog, then get a second job and earn the money yourself!

 

If Pierre wants his mother to stop meddling in his life, then he needs to stop relying upon her to finance him through life.  I only have an Associates' in Science Degree.  I don't speak a foreign language.  But I am better off financially than most people on this planet!  I never charge more on my credit cards than what I can afford to pay when the bill comes every month.  I always pay my credit cards in full every month to avoid finance charges.  I don't have debt hanging over my head.  I have excellent credit and no intentions of spending more than what I make.  I also would not take money from someone and let them have the power of holding it against me!

 

The daughter-in-law did the right thing by leaving this situation.  But Pierre needs to start supporting himself and living a life-style of which is in his budget.  It is pretty bad when he has to get money from his mother so that he can go out on a date!