Messages By: jahluvs

I'm not sure exactly what Shelita said, but from what I do remember, I think what she was actually meaning was that if one isn't following God's standards, then he/she is falling into Satan's trap. The Bible says that if you're not with Him, you're against him, and I think that's what she was talking about.

This is not to say that Vicki isn't a hypocondriac, or that her problems don't stem from anxiety, but for 2 years I went undiagnosed from a debilitating condition because everyone thought it was all in my head. I KNEW something wasn't right and I'm pretty sure that the frustration I was feeling was causing a lot of anxiety and much depression, which I was treated for, but there WAS and IS something wrong. It's just not right to be so exhausted and weak so easily and having my heart race and skip a beat. There were (are) so many symptoms...migraines, graying out, near fainting, dizzyness/vertigo...the list goes on. As a teen, my mom and sister just thought I was lazy. They kept telling me that if I would just get up and exercise, I would feel better. I tried that, it didn't work. In fact, it made me feel worse. This continued through my twenties and into my thirties. Following a viral episode that the doc thought might be mono, it got worse. I tested negative for mono, but he didn't know what virus may have caused my illness. From that time it took 2 years of testing to find the problem. I don't know why I didn't think of it, because my best friend has a similar condition. Some lightbulb finally came on for my doc and he sent me to a cardiologist (Dr. Blair Grubb in Toledo, OH).  I didn't get to see the famous doc but one of his associates. A bunch of questions and a tilt-table test later and and they said "POTS". I tried to be funny and said, "hey, it's been a long time since I did that stuff", but I guess they left their sense of humor at grad school. Anyway, POTS is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. I would REALLY like Dr. Phil to address this one! Most docs have never even heard of it. For more info on orthostatic intolerance and dysautonomia see www.ndrf.org and click on autonomic disorders. You can go from there.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not always just anxiety.

I'm really glad you showed up! I think some of your words were misunderstood. Hope you are here for a while and read more of the other posts so you can explain what you really meant.

Sure, there are certain things with pagan origin we can't avoid, such as names of the days of the week and names of the months, but other things we can. Many influences can and will be eliminated...someday. If we read the book of Revelation (and understand it) we know this. We are living in a world under Satan's power, but only temporarily. God has a time that only he knows for this to end -not even his angels or his Son, Jesus, knows the exact day or time.

Anyway, the point is that if we care what God thinks, once we know we should, we avoid unscriptural things.

I'm new to this board. I usually post on other Dr. Phil boards and yesterday got into a conversation on emotional abuse. I decided this morning to see about finding a board on this topic to check out. I found it. I'm realizing that I'm married to an emotional abuser and don't really know what I want to, or can, do about it.

-Lisa

I have one of these too! I thought I had it bad, but I guess I have a bit more of a "backbone" than some of these poor ladies (and men). I've found that getting the backbone a little at a time is a bit less shocking to the bully. I still have a long way to go, but I'm hopeful that he will wake up and smell the coffee someday. He doesn't cheat, he doesn't beat, he's just a bully. He's a control freak. He likes to be the boss...orders everyone else around but doesn't help do the work. His belief is that he works 8 hours a day and brings home the paycheck, so that's all he should have to do. On occasion, he WILL do some dishes or something if it is absolutely necessary...but not without complaining that he shouldn't have to do it. Oh, and acts like he is the one who ALWAYS has to do it.

With my kids (we don't have any together) it's not so much WHAT he is trying to say, but HOW he's going about it that is the problem. He also has a tendancy to think that HIS opinion is the RIGHT way of thinking....LOL he's the dumbest smart guy I know! He has no interest in getting counselling, doesn't think we (or rather HE) needs it. He's still in the pre-marital mind-set of "yours and mine" rather than "ours". We've been married for 2 years, together for 6.5 years before we married.  He refuses to see that he should be fulfilling the role of the husband, but expects me to fulfill my role as a wife. I can't seem to get it through his head that women need to be treated well to respond. Treat me and my kids like crap, and I'm not to motivated to meet your wants and needs. Do I sound bitter? I'm turning into a Royal B****.

-Lisa G. :o)~

I cannot believe the amount of judgemental, self-righteous people that post here. Makes for interesting reading, but is truly frustrating. Some of you have NO CLUE what it's like to live in that kind of situation without proper coping skills or knowing HOW to get  out. And, by the way, getting out isn't  as easy as saying it. I don't think that any marriage is hopeless unless they don't want to work at it. One person can't make a marriage work...it takes both...and it's certainly work.

I'm in a similar situation now...I've turned to drinking to dull the pain. I know it's not the answer, it's not a permant fix, but it helps me get through today. Until my DH goes to therapy with me and learns how to be a man and husband, I will probably continue to medicate with alcohol. I'm working on myself, my clinical depression, etc., but my DH needs to join me in therapy and work on himself and us.

Anyway, not trying to justify anyone's behaviors or make excuses but I totally understand where these women are coming from. I also think that Karla may not have remembered some of the stuff she did, not just lying. Ever seen anyone in your life mix alcohol and Xanax and then talk to them the next day? Many times they do things they don't remember doing. It's called a black-out...I'm sure some of you have heard of those. I know you who have been recovering know what I'm talking about...if not first-hand, you know people's stories from AA.

Please people, don't be so hard on these folks...I'm sure that you would want understanding and compassion from others if you needed help.